How do I tell my in laws to not bother with Christmas?

How do I politely tell my inlaws not to bother with Christmas? Backstory: my mother in law quit her job to take care of my husband’s brother’s 1st child without ever offering it to us. My child was the first grandchild. If I ever needed her to watch my child, he had to go to his cousin’s house. He hates going down there. Fast forward, my husband’s brother’s wife has their second child. Now the grandmother watches both children full time, bought a new truck so she could pick one up from school, and has not seen my child in 6 months. she recently texted my husband what to get my child for Christmas. There has been no communication, and I am fine without communication. There is clearly favoritism being shown, and I don’t want my child apart of it. My husband and I have decided we are not doing Christmas with his side of the family unless they would like to come to our house. It is time they show effort for their grandson. So how do I tell don’t worry about it since you haven’t bothered to see or talk to your grandson in 6 months??

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Just be honest. Due to your lack of involvement in my sons life we would like to not do christmas with you unless you would like to come to our home and spend time with him. I would also point out the obvious favoritism going on but im the type of person that doesn’t care if i hurt someone’s feelings especially when its concerning my kids.

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You say it just like that. The way you feel. No matter what it’s going to stir up feelings and family issues even trying to be nice so might as well not sugar coat it at all. Cut ties if you want and enjoy your little family with your husband

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Be honest with them it will cause problems but honest is the best policy … or tell em covid is the reason either one is going to cause a problem there going to get mad and not see what there doing its not fair for your kid ur in the right totally!!!

Be straight up with it

Be straight up with them…

There’s a pandemic and you’d like to stick to people in your “bubble”. (Doesn’t matter if that’s actually the reason, but it’s something they can’t take personally)

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I wouldn’t even put in the effort to let them know. They’ll get the hint when you don’t show up because no attempts at plans were ever made on their behalf.

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Copy…Paste…Send. You explained it pretty well here.

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Just because you had the first grandchild doesn’t mean shit. :woman_shrugging:t3:
They have other grandchildren that they need to worry about too.
And it sounds like you’re just letting your emotions build up and it talking about it.
This was posted earlier and I’m sure it was deleted and re posted for the hate.
But I’ll say it again, you sound kinda petty.

Let your husband talk to them since it’s his family. He could just tell them ya are staying home this year. They are welcome if they want to stop by. No need to be rude to them. Two wrongs don’t make a right.

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Stick up for your child and don’t back down. Coming from someone whom wishes their parents would have done it for me more often when my dad’s mom would always favor my brother. Its sad because it could have probably saved our relationship. But I literally have nothing to do with her now.

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How does the child feel?

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I wouldn’t say anything. If they truly want to no about Christmas they’ll call. If she’s nice enough to still get a gift then fine but it’s not a bother either way.

sounds like. that is what. to tell them or. gift. card so he can get what. he wants. since. they dont even know. him

Just say no thanks lol

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Maybe, she’s so busy trying to help the other unfit parents raise their child, to avoid the child being neglected, that she really hasn’t had the time to dedicate to your child. As shitty as that sounds it may not be favoritism,…I don’t know the situation but maybe it isn’t as it seems…I’d totally let her get a gift if she wants. Maybe she’s doing what she thinks is needed at the moment, as much as you think the situation sucks for your child.

“Christmas is at this time at our place, let me know who is all coming so I can set plates” if she says “were going to so and so’s” or “having it at our place” just be like “have a great christmas, see you next year” then you look like a rose in both cases

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Tell them to call your son and personally ask him and see if they call

Sometimes if it’s something or someone you really care about you have to tell it like it is especially if you want things to get better. Since it’s family I’m sure you want a loving relationship. Unfortunately you need to get the problem out in the open so it can be faced. I went through it. Not exactly your situation but now things are better. I wanted to try so it couldn’t be said I didn’t try. It will be unpleasant at first but you can do it.