How do you co parent when you live 21 hours apart?

Has anyone co-parented when you live in states that are 21 hours away? Where one has the child for the school year, one summer, and split holidays? Or maybe other custody arrangements? I want to see if there have been situations where this was what had to happen, but the child was able to thrive.


Our daughter is only 8 hours away and we get her in the summer and we swap holidays every year. For example Thanksgiving is with mom this year and christmas is with us

We video chat everyday almost and text constantly. It helps her feel like shes partly still with us

My step daughters are 900 miles away. We have 6 weeks of summer, odd years we get 1 week at Spring Break, even years we get 1 week at Christmas. For summer, the kids fly. For our 1 weeks, we drive and meet halfway. Also, if we are in their home state for any reason (we still have family there) as long as we give 2 weeks notice, we are allowed visitation during that time frame in their state.

Children will thrive with loving parents…

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We don’t live 21 hours away, but we do live in different states. When my kids were younger they would be with me all through the school year and then spend majority of the summer with him. And we always split holidays every other year. it does get difficult sometimes and sometimes you need to make exceptions, but for the most part it worked out pretty well. When we did get into disagreements about time we just reminded the kids that I had nothing to do with them personally and that because everybody loves them so much we all want time with them.

My mom and dad lived 14 hours apart when I was a child. My dad got the whole summer and winter and spring breaks.

I’ve never met a judge that would allow this. Where I live in Florida the parents can live more than 50 miles apart.

U have Christmas eve him Christmas ine gets Halloween ine hets thanks giving… swap. Mom gets most ( school year) dad hets two mpnths over summer. Video chat. If dad moved awzy far he can pay for travel

How old is the child?

Never heard of this so curious about what this is like for kids
My niece may have this happen to her

My kids dad is military so the distance varies but never in the same state. There’s usually a primary parent and that parent has school year and the other parent has summers and rotating holidays

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I coparent my two youngest with my ex husband. I live in Jersey and he lives in Florida…the kids stay with me for the year and they go to Florida for a month in the summer. The kids are perfectly happy and healthy and well adjusted. It wasn’t easy at first but it got better.

This with the type of arrangement my parents had. I did just fine. Though my relationship with my mother is strained but that really depends on how the parent in the summer is with their child.

They can as long as both parents put :100: toward it. Now I will say as they get older it does get challenging. My son is 17 and he didn’t go to his dads this summer. He has a job and a life here. It can be hard on them.


Communication is key! We’re far apart too and he goes for summers. I FaceTime him during plays and games. I send him pics of important stuff like report cards. I update him on any medical stuff as soon as it happens. I ask his opinion on big decisions. I also include my husband and his wife. :relieved: I’ve been doing this for 12 years with his dad and it’s worked great!

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What would make you think a child can thrive when they have to split their time between two parents who are 21 hours apart? That doesn’t make any sense. Why not live closer so the child does not have to commute so far to see their other parent? How can the child effectively communicate with the other parent when they are 21 hours apart???


My middle daughters best friend lives like 10 hours away from her dad. They go down a month every summer. That doesn’t seem very fair to the dad but apparently it works for them.

Seems like an awful situation. I don’t know of a solution. So sad kids are moved around like this :frowning: I can’t even imagine how difficult that would be.