How do co-parents deal with shared custody on clothing? I have always sent my son to his Dad with clothing, toys, hygiene, gadgets, etc., but whenever his Dad (once in a blue moon) buys him ANYTHING, he tells my son he is not allowed to take it with him to moms. It bothers me, like why? I have never cared about what article of clothing my son takes or brings, nor toys or gadgets. Does that bother anyone else? If I were to tell my son, “you cannot take anything I have bought you to your Dads,” he would take nothing.
At drop off we change our kids out of their clothes and then dad puts them in his outfits. We have our stuff he has his. We used to share until nothing came back. And we were just wasting money so that’s how it is now.
So in our split 50/50 household we have our things for the kids and they have things at their moms. I don’t have an issue with what they take home to moms but I always find that they are upset when they have let said item at moms and they want it at our house. So basically I tell them you can take what you want but if you want it while you are here you need to remember to bring it back.
I don’t let my son take anything to his dads… or vice versa. What he comes home in on sundays I wash and fold for him to wear back to his dads fridays. He doesn’t take any toys or anything from home to his dads. Every now and then I’ll make an exception with a toy or Pokémon cards or something. But never with clothes. I never get stuff back… he always returns him in stuff that’s too small or I’d not want him to wear to school. It’s just what I’ve always done.
Unfortunately you have to stop sending anything with him and other then the clothes he’s wearing that day:woman_shrugging: that’s what we do. It’s petty but it all adds up. Time for dad to grow up!
I also try to send them home in the clothes they wore from moms house so she can keep her things too.
My ex is like that
We just say we have our rules and he has is because they are too different houses
It was hard when they were young for them to understand but its didnt take long for it to be “not as hard”
I’m currently dealing with the same. I send clothes & shoes to their daddy’s and never see them again. I have to say something because they keep their stuff over that they wear over there and I don’t have the money to keep buying new stuff every two weeks.
Honestly in my opinion* both parents should have what the child needs at their homes. They shouldn’t need to bring away bags to visit their own parents. That’s totally defeating the concept of parenting. You pack away bags to visit friends and extended family on little away breaks for fun. I used to pack a bag but then it dawned on me, thats their dad…he SHOULD have what they need there. Those are his kids. Why are just the custodial parents required to provide? With even my step son he comes here I wash his outfit put it aside he wears the same stuff my kids wear then he wears his outfit he came in back home. His mother never returns any clothing or sells the stuff we provide so thats why we do it this way. My kids go to their dads once a year and he makes sure they have what they need when they go them they come home in what they left in. It just makes things easier. As for toys and such none of that goes between homes. Eventually a fight comes about between adults over a missing toy or step/half siblings breaking a toy at either house so we just don’t do that anymore.
My kid’s dad was like that. My kid responded by not going to his house.
I always allowed my son to take whatever belongings of his he wished to take. If it was a super favorite i would ask the ex hubby to make sure it came back I didn’t care about clothes and neither did he as long as our kid was dressed.
I’m not divorced so maybe I don’t get it, but in my eyes these things belong to the child and he should be allowed to take his stuff with him wherever he goes, given that it doesn’t get stolen or destroyed.
My daughter has her own stuff at each house- my soon to be stepson,however, well, his mom packs a whole fricken suitcase every ti.e we get him(everyother weekend) I’d rather they have their own stuff at both houses
My daughters go with 1 toy and the clothes they are wearing. Now 13 and 11 last time i sent clothes ect he threw it all in the bin so they take thier 1 comfort toy and thats it they dont even like going most weeks
Me and my daughter dad basically have 50/50 I get her mondays after school til I drop her Thursday morning at school and he picks her up and has her til Monday morning he has clothes and everything she needs at her dads and same with me I have everything she needs here at my home. If he sends her in a new outfit I make sure she goes back with it and vice versa or we just leave it like it is. As long as our daughter is dressed and taken care of I don’t see an issue.
We have stuff for our house. Bm has stuff at their house. Outfits swap but my rule is they have to be even swap ie can’t come over in sweat pants and leave in nice jeans.
I buy my boys clothes for my house, their dad provides clothes at his house. We put a M or D on the tag. And if they wear their dads clothes to my house, I wash them and send them back to him or send the boys to school dressed in his clothes if its his day to pick our boys up. Vice versa. We each also buy their shoes every other time.
We’re 50/50 and don’t allow them to take clothes back and forth unless a special clothing item or anything they bought for themselves. This way they never have to pack anything back and forth exceptions are personal items like baby blankets, special comfort toys, etc. This way they only have to bring like 3 things vs a bunch of stuff. Dad may just be trying to make sure he has stuff on hand for his kiddo on his time. We also make sure anything that comes from mom’s goes back to mom’s.
Be the bigger person. It is not worth fighting about.
I had my closet he had his. What she wore there they washed and sent back. When I noticed clothes getting tight I mentioned they went shopping and I went shopping. Shoes too. Now the infant car seat was shared but all other carseat we each had one. Sounds petty but it stopped a lot of arguments