How do you cope??? Me and my significant other have been together for a very long time and have two kids. Okay, so it is not simple as to just leave. But I need help or would like to get advice on how you deal with their complicated family members? Everytime I try to address or communicates it ends up backfiring or explodes into an argument. I mentally cannot be around them etc… there has been fault on both sides and a period when no one has spoken to one another. Now that they are repairing I do get infuriated and I need help or advice on how to deal with that… thanks!
been there… but it was so toxic… the best decision i ever made was not to let them near me and my son ever again. i should have done it sooner. the 3 years that they were far from me, our life has been so peaceful and blessed. I still let hubby see them but told him i would not be dragged down again by their family drama. something bad always happens to my husband everytime he tries to let them near me so for his own safety, he does not bother me about even being civil with his uncivilized family.
I don’t. I’ve had those kinda folks in my life and refuse. My boyfriend would go spend time with them without me. I never tried to keep him away and honestly, he didn’t like going much either. If we were stuck together at weddings or things of that nature, we didn’t talk.
I’m confused?? Who is repairing what and why are you mad about it??
What are y’all discussing that’s ending up in an argument? Who’s in the wrong? Need more details.
If you want to move past this and mend your relationship with them, then do it. Let them know that suggestions are welcomed but only when implemented. You have to stand your ground with family members who can’t respect boundaries. If it’s effecting your health that bad then stay away from them.
Group therapy maybe.
So far my in-laws are great but my dads family hates my mom and vise versa. Sometimes it’s best to just stay away. You’re married to your husband, not his family. You can love him and still not be involved with them. You gotta do what’s best for you and if keeping away is what’s best then keep away. Trust me forcing yourself into situations that negatively effect your mental and emotional health will only bring problems into your home. I hope things work out
I understand there will be occasions when you’re expected to be with his family. I would attempt to avoid conversation that could lead to disagreements. I would refrain from telling them anything personal. Talk the basics, weather, sports teams etc. Also it is unfortunate your husband hasn’t told them to stop making you uncomfortable.
Mine are rotten! I banged my head against the wall for over 15 years and finally took myself out of the picture. I don’t keep him from going to any family functions (he usually chooses not to go) Taking myself out of the equation has been my best decision ever!!!
I’d say if you have told your husband how you feel and he disregards it then therapy is the best bet but that’s if everyone is willing therapy only work if all participants want to work through issues. They say pick your battles. If the in laws are making your life hell you have the power you decide who you allow in your life period!! It’s that simple you don’t have to put up with being treated terribly by anyone.
Girl…if you love your hubby…give it up and just have cocktails or maybe take a valium or xanex on those occasions you have to deal with them…it’s not worth the stress…certainly not worth arguing or trying to prove your point…just get thru the day and keep it moving…this certainly isn’t worth going into therapy…these people mean NOTHING to your day to day existence…
Pretend you’re a woman from Victorian times. Pretend to be simple and only pretty. Be quietly demur and supportive. Then, talk shit about them when you leave Pick your battles!
My in laws and myself and a strained relationship for many years. Then my husband almost died and while he was in a coma we started talking and my MIL helped me through the most through that time. Husband doing better now. But I still talk to my MIL a lot. I wouldnt recommend your SO almost dying tho. So this comment really doesn’t help
I think your husband needs to step up and protect you. I have cut ties with them and whenever they are gatherings and they ask him to come with me, he usually says we are not coming there.
I don’t speak to his family at all. There have been so many problems that I just refuse to deal with them. It works just fine for me.
Fuck them. Once a problem always a problem. Seriously. Sorry to say. Sometimes it’s just the way. Some people just clash. Oh well.
You can stay away from them. If you allow your children to be around them that is your decision. But you are allowed to not participate in anything with anyone who is toxic to your health.
My husband and I have gone through this with his family. I finally made him start doing all the talking. At one point all have to act like adults and let bygones be bygones. It puts a lot of strain on a marriage fighting with the s/o’s family. I just stopped doing as much. If I’m not around they can’t blame me!
Choose peace. Choose to not engage with these people. Keep things light and do not share everything that happens in your life. It will make life a whole lot easier
Rise above them be the better person. Just say everyone’s has their own option. Then stop talking. End of conversation.