I’ve explained to my kids that families come in all shapes and sizes. Some have no parents. Some have both parents. Some have two mom’s. Some have two dad’s. Some kids even have grandparents or foster families raising them. What’s important to know is that the people in your life love you. And you are important no matter who is in your life or not. You’re here for a reason and that’s what we can focus on.
I would concentrate more on how all families are different. Some have one mommy or one daddy. Some have grandparents raise them. Some have two mommas. Etc. adjust stress you are a family and you love her
When my son was about 4 he asked me why his dad doesn’t want him. I told him that his birth father doesn’t know how to be a Dad that he has some more growing up to do. He asked me if he will ever have a dad. I told him one day God will send him someone worthy of being his dad, someone who wants to be his dad. That man is trying to adopt our son.
I’m a single mom of 2 bio kids and 2 adopted kiddos. I tell the younger ones that there are all different kinds of families. Some families have 2 moms, some have one parent and some kiddos are raised by aunties or grandparents. A family isn’t about who is in it, it’s about the love that you all have for each other.
I delt with this with my oldest daughter and her DBD here is exactly what I told her Everytime it came up…" I am your mommy and it is my job to protect you. I decided he was not a safe space for you and I have chose to be very careful and cautious about your environment. If at any time that turns out to not be the right decision then I will own that but until then this has been my choice and it will stay that way for the forcible future." I NEVER put her bio dad down and I put the blame of him not being in the picture solely on myself. I knew no matter what one day when she got older she would see the truth. I respected my child too much to jade/tarnish her idea of him. She would get there on her own one day. But it would be a decision made all on her own. She is 19 now and believe me she got there alone. I believe the respect level we have for each other has a lot to do with this decision.