How do you find alone time when your kids are older?

I have a question about bedtime/adult-only time. I have one son, just turned 7. He goes to bed at 8 pm right now, and 8-10 pm is my husband and my alone time for our adult tv shows, intimate time, talking, etc. I’m wondering how other parents keep their alone time as their kids get older. As my son gets older, he will want to stay up later, and I’m not sure how to get around this? As it is right now, he goes to bed when it is light outside at eight, lol, and it seems early, but I do not want him to stay up later. I do not want to lose the adult-only time we have. I get up for work early, around 5 am, so staying up later for me is not really something I’d like to do either. Do I allow him to stay up later but need to stay in his room? Does it come down to me getting less sleep staying up later myself, or we just lose our alone time as he gets older?? And this is normal? How does it work in everyone else’s households?


I remember when I was a kid I was allowed staying up later if I stayed in my room. I could read a book or watch a movie from my bed. It was my moms way of getting me to relax but still allowing me to stay awake longer if I wanted


They stay in their room, you are allowed your alone time.

My son is 10 and he is in bed at 730 school nights and 8 on weekends with tv off by 9


We have wind down time. Which is at least an hr laying in bed. Whether it’s watching tv, reading. I’d suggest just extended the “wind down” time before lights out.

My parents sent me to bed at 8pm till I was in middle school… I was allowed to stay up in my room and read books maybe they let me mess around on my computer once I had one in middle school till 9:30 when parent locks kicked me off

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My older kids (11, 9, 6) go to bed 8-830 school nights then 8-9 weekends. They can read if they aren’t tired but they have to stay in bed. Youngest 2 yrs stays up until we go to bed.

When I was a kid we had a “bed time” but really just had to be in our rooms so read, tv, etc.


School nights its 8pm. When they don’t have school they can go to the room & stay up.

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Parents should have their alone time. I have a 4 year old and 13 year old daughter and in my house what has happened is after my 4 year old goes to sleep around 730, 8, my 13 year old wants time with us alone to hang out amd ends up being with us most nights until 10pm or so. So eventually we told her we understand she wants time with us especially without her sister being around but some nights we just need time to ourselves so some nights she hangs out in the living room doing her own thing until bed amd then some nights we still spend time with her. Win, win for everyone.


By the time they are pre teens they probably won’t like you anyway so they will just leave you alone


Oldest is 16 and youngest is 4. You have to set boundaries. This is my alone time. Leave me alone. Goodnight.


I feel like once he gets older you will get to a point where you will definitely have less alone time each night unless you stay up later. 8pm is a great bedtime for his age, especially if he isn’t doing activities. Lots of my kids activities aren’t even over til 8 some nights so bed time is obviously later for us. They are horrible sleepers though. Alone time is a rarity :joy:

I get up at 5am as well. I go to my room and lock the door and turn the TV on lol. My children are 13, 10, 9 and 5. The 5 year old is first one out around 8 to 830. Others lol they go to their room but won’t go to sleep.

My children as they got older they were allowed to stay awake, if they stayed in their rooms, they could read or write in a Journal(no electronics allowed).


We have a 7, 4,3,2 and soon to be newborn. Our youngest 3 go to bed around 7-730 and our oldest goes to bed around 830. We tell him to watch tv in his room starting at 730 and he gets one hour and at 830 he needs to bring the remote to our room and if he can do that until his 8th birthday then he can stay up until 9pm and it’ll stay that way for a longgggg time. But that’s how we get around it when they go to bed later send them to their rooms watch tv and turn in the remote at a certain time.


What’s adult only time!?:rofl::joy::sweat_smile:


We have our kiddo(almost 11) go read for the last hour if we want to watch something. That way we can watch something that isn’t appropriate for her. We’ve had some push back lately because her brother (he’s almost 2 months) is cuddling with hubby or I and she says he has to go if she does. We had to explain that he doesn’t understand nor can see what we’re watching us he’s asleep.

My daughter is 6. She goes to bed around 8. Not asleep but she lays down & watches tv. She knows its not time for play.

My son is barely 2 so we put our shows on once he goes to sleep, but when I was younger, like teenage years, my parents would legit just say we’re going to our room goodnight. If we were watching something in the living room they would leave us be, and just retreat to their bedroom.

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Let him watch TV or a movie in his room with a timer on it. This way he’ll fall asleep and you have your time