Im a stay at home mom and if I dont get to housework I dont do it. I dont stress being a stay at home mom is so your babes dont go to daycare and you dont have that added expense. Just focus on those babies. Thats what I do. All the housework dinner etc is a team effort. Just because my SO works doesnt mean he comes home to do nothing. We cook dinner together one does dishes while the other gets the kids bathed and ready for bed. If my babes throws his food I will sweep it up but I dont stress the rest. It is what it is. I will start laundry but if i dont want to fold it I don’t. Or I’ll do what I can amd my SO puts it away.
I have a 6,5,3,1 and am 8months also. Luckily husband is home for now but will soon be returning to work.being home all this time he’s definitely got a first hand experience as a stay at home parent. He’s appreciated me before Covid and helps in many ways but I know once he goes back to work he is definitely going remember how it is being a stay at home parent . Honestly as long as the main things are in order I don’t see why we can’t letting a few things slide. Mine and my families health all around are top priority. No one is perfect we are all surviving this virus.
I know how you feel. I am 34 weeks pregnant, have a 17 month old boy, who thinks he’s invincible, and a SAHM. I feel so exhausted and drained. I’m considered high risk so I have appointments 3 days a week on top of it all and live 45minutes one way. I can’t give you advice to help but I can let you know you are not alone.
I am not an expert but I believe you need to adk for help. Do what you can but remember that you must take care of yourself also.
I feel ya I have three girls ( 16,14,an 7) school been off an on an I am a 24/7 care taker for my elderly mother who is bedridden so my days are long an hard I am only able to get about 4 to 5 hours of sleep if that an my place in a mess but who cares as long as my kids are good an school is going ok an my mom is still alive an here I will take it an be with them all. I am grateful for the time I am getting with my mom
Oh mama I completely get how you feel! Ask for help when you need it (trust me I know it’s not easy) but also don’t be too hard on yourself. You are doing your best that’s very evident. You are a great mama with alot on your plate! You got this!
Have the kids help. I found that not only were they not making more messes that they really enjoyed spending all the time with me. Many hands make light work. It also helped if I made a list of must do daily, weekly, and special projects and checked it off throughout the day. That way I didn’t get distracted and throughout the week everything was cleaned at least once.
1.) Get up before the children. Shower. Get a morning routine, where picking up the bathroom, starting a load of laundry, the daily chores become habits. The more you get done before they are awake, the easier.
2.) You gotta have adequate nutrition. It is so easy to pop in flash frozen nuggets and fries, or a box of mac and cheese, but make sure y’all are also getting your servings of vegetables and fruits. And make sure you’re taking your prenatal.
3.) Make time for exercise. This one is hard because it is winter, and you are very pregnant. However, no one can keep up thier energy without getting thier activity up. It is important to teach your kids that it is important to make it a priority. Try a dance party with them.
4.) Evening routines should be shared. Early bath times, story times, dinner and dishes duties, etc., are the best bonding times anyway.
5.) Teach your kids to help with the things that is for them anyway. My 5 year old is learning to put his own clothes away, feeding/watering the pets, etc. Basic stuff that they can build on as they get older.
Those perfect mom only exist on FB, or they have a maid and nanny that does it all for them. If you have a 5 and 3 year old your not going to have a spotless clean house. Your going to hopefully have children being children which will make for a happy home. That’s what a home is suppose to be. You may be a stay at home mom,but you work hard then any woman working a 40 hour job. Make time for you, take time to enjoy you kods,sneek time with your husband after they go to bed. All the other stuff isnt important especially if it makes you stress!
1st off, while an organized house is nice, there’s no rule that says everything has to be perfect. If you can’t fit it all into one day, it’s not the end of the world. 2nd your husband should want to come home because that’s where his family is, not for a perfect house. And most of all, he may be doing quite a bit, but he gets time off between classes or shift. You don’t. He should be doing his part in the house so you’re not killing your body and sanity trying to get things done. If cleanliness and organization is important to him, he’ll do his part to see that it’s that way. You are not a servant.
If the kids don’t take naps, get them to have an hour of quiet time in their rooms. Make sure they understand that they are to stay in their rooms and you take some time to rest. I’ve been through the same thing with kids the same age. But you are pregnant also, so you are more tired. You need rest. I have a home daycare and I homeschool so I have an idea what you might be going through. I was really tired with my second pregnancy. I had a toddler and I was taking care of my sisters kids who were under 10. I was exhausted and used to take a nap with my toddler while the kids were in school. If you can’t do it all, don’t be too hard on yourself. Your body to working hard to bring another human being into this world. Rest when you can and don’t worry about the rest. You will do better when the baby comes…or sometime after.
I understand. I so badly want my house to be just like you described. But with kids and everything else its bit as easy as you want it to be. Dont set unrealistic standards for yourself. Pick one main thing ( something small ) to have done for him each day. That’s a good way ti show appreciation if you want to. Like fixing him a snack when he gets home. But dont set a standard that people hire other people to maintaine. You are very pregnant chasing after other kids. Also as I’ve found out with my husband…they dont notice as much in the house as we do. Some days you need to also not see it and relax
Give the 5 yr old and 3 yr old some chores to do. I was sweeping floors and folding laundry at 5. My 3 yr old brother had to pick up toys and make sure his clothes were put in laundry basket. We both had to do the dusting. All homework and chores was done before the TV was turned on. Made us better people and learned responsibilities. As we got older we helped out mom more.
When my Son’s school went remote in March of 2020 right at the start of spring break, I told him we were going to play games, stay up late, and celebrate spring break fun but come the end of spring break we were buckling down. His district here in Kansas called their remote learning enrichment, and since he was in high school he only had to participate if he needed to raise grades. He did. I woke up before he did and made a list for the day. Some was mine and some was his. We did it together and it kept us from vegging out. I also limited him to 2 hours of electronics per day. He was super creative and I was way productive! Still doing lists and all to this day and it is a game changer!
cut yourself some slack…You are doing fine…It is hard with two little kids…and far along in your pregnancy…they can help some but the are still little…give them some stuff to do…Hubby can help some too. If you were working and going to school you could find time to do a little something around the house to help, Try not to be so hard on yourself and any complaints let them do it…
We sound like we are living the same life. I am 38.3 weeks pregnant with a 5 and 7 year old. I’m EXHAUSTED. I have just learned to give myself A LOT of grace. Some days are just survival days
The Lazy Genius is a short, helpful read. Find out the importance of things for you and your spouse and apply your energy accordingly. Everything wont always be done. My next piece of advice is a 1 p.m. nap for all. Tell the kids it’s “quiet time” play nap music on YouTube, read a story and relax or nap. You may get a second wind.
One thing that helped when I had young twins was to have one adult clean room. When I grew up we had a red room in the basement but the living room was an adult room. I swore I would never do that but after having chaos for a couple years I decided a play room that only got cleaned every few weeks and a room that the adults could sit in and have it be clean was a sane idea. Then you have 2 rooms to clean daily. The kitchen (bugs ick) and one room .
F all these judgemental people. We all can’t choose exactly the “perfect” time to have children. Just because it is hard doesn’t mean you shouldn’t do it. Anyone raising a family who tells you it’s easy and not exhausting is lying.
You are 8 mo pregnant. Your body is using a lot of energy and every pregnancy is different. Check and make sure you aren’t anemic because can make you so tired.
My practical advice is to set things up to make things as easy as physically possible for you. Run the dishwasher a few times so you don’t need to scrub them first. Set up a comfortable area near the laundry so you can wash, dry, and fold. Rotate out toys so the kids only have a few to play with (and make a mess with) at a time. Stuff like that.
Nobody will think you didn’t do good enough. We are our own worst critics. Your husband probably thinks your killing it. No matter what, if you love your kids, they love you (they are forgiving that way, seriously, they think you are the best Mom ever). Prioritize, believe me, house’s are only perfect when staged. Dinner and convo, we might be connecting. In the end perfection isn’t real, the house could be a mess, are we connecting and growing our memories?