I am a single mom. I have been since my son was born. My marriage to his father ended very abruptly and very nasty, too, if I might add. I’ve had a few dates, but nothing too serious. I’d like to find a relationship again and get back out there. But I have trouble opening up to guys I meet, and being used to being a single mom, it’s hard to get a date and meet new people. And it’s scary bringing new people into your life when you have a child. Are there any other single moms that have been through this kind of situation? What did you do?
Dating with children is difficult, I don’t have advise on how to find somebody, but I do have a suggestion on introducing people to your child or children. Until you know the person is going to stay in your life long term don’t introduce them to your child(ren) don’t let them see guys coming and going in and out of your life it is hard on a child getting attached to people then to see them leave. If you are wanting a physical good time, have a sitter and don’t bring that around your child until it is going to be a long term relationship, kids are good at walking in on people.
Don’t make your kids call the person you are dating mom/dad even after marriage that is a title that should be earned not forced.
Haley this is your people
I had a wonderful support system who wanted me to get out more and helped with my daughter. I’m so thankful for that because I met the most amazing guy, he’s wonderful to me and my daughter and treats her as if she were his own. Her father is still in the picture so she knows the difference that it is a fantastic thing to have extra people who care about you and want to make you happy, especially if they don’t have to but chose to. I waited a little while for them to meet because I wanted to be sure that it was something I envisioned becoming serious. But he’s been wonderful and I’m so glad I got back out there when I did and I can’t imagine life without him anymore.
Make friends first. Before even introducing the kids and potential date. My bf and I have been together almost 4 years. He and I started out talking on a dating app. Agreed to being strictly friends at first. It was almost a year since we had started talking that I finally relented and went on that first date. I broke a lot of my own rules with it but that’s besides the point. We started talking in June after my nasty break up previously and at that time I was pregnant with the ex’s baby. Not even trying to date. Hell not even hooking up tbh. I just needed a friend and he was there for the first 8 months. Just friends. Then one day he asks if I want to meet and get lunch not really as a date but more as a way just to meet and see if it was still fun or just plain awkward. My youngest had an appointment the next day and he was off work and would be near the hospital so I said let’s get lunch there, mainly being overly paranoid and wanting to be safe. We had the same energy and everything as we had online. He was who he said he was and who he claimed to be. After that first date we got a lot closer. Saw each other a lot the next couple weeks that led to the second date that really said we were a couple but the rest is history. What I’m saying is, don’t think about dating anyone. Have fun. Be a mom. Raise your baby. Enjoy life. Make amazing memories. Make new friends. Now it’s not just you. It’s your child’s happiness and health at stake as well. Get to know someone before committing. Be with them when they’re ecstatic. See them upset. Be there when they’re angry. Watch them lose. See them win. Get to know every side of that person before you decide on the next level or step. Don’t rush in just because it feels good. Watch how they interact with other women and children. See how they treat their friends vs their family and how they treat you vs your family and heck how they treat their family vs yours. These are all important things to think about in a partner. Yeah maybe you can see yourself in 5 years happy with them but how would life be without them? Look at their flaws. Things that they do that irriatate or anger you. Can you deal with those for the rest of your life? Are you absolutely 100% positive that those things won’t cause you to flip out? Are you really sure? You don’t want to lose it and hurt someone for something you know you can’t stand or deal with. What can you accomplish together? What can you do by yourself? Don’t think financially. Forget the money. What would be fulfilling to accomplish alone that you could do with your partner? Would it feel better alone? Can you actually work together on the project at hand? What about political views? They have destroyed families. Can you be content with different beliefs between you both? Hot button issues are high right now. Are you sure your differences won’t affect the relationship you have? Look at how the world is right now. Can you go through all of this with that person and be ok when it’s over? Can you just survive? Or will you thrive with them? Most importantly, are you happy? Truly happy? Feel like you’re where you belong? What would a partner change in your life? How would it affect you and your child and family? Would this person be accepted by the majority? By those who are important to you? What are their bad habits? How would those affect you? Do they use drugs? You literally should consider ever single thing about a partner especially as a mother. I made the mistake of going in blind and left with a child a pregnancy and a restraining order. You honestly can’t be too careful these days. It’s been 4 years and I’m doing great all things considered but if I had listened to others I wouldn’t have stayed.
You don’t you protect your kids! #SaveTheChildren
He found me. Had 4 kids at home at the time. No one to babysit n a host of personal and family problems. We used to spend a lil time together about 3 times a week, lots of phone calls. He moved in 6mths later, (quick I no). 4 years later were still together. If u find the one it will work out. X
We worked together 6 days a week first we just texted then started hanging out outside of work got to no each other well single mom of 2 told him my kids meet him been together 3 years and have 2 together and we’re only 23/24
yea dont most men are creeps nowadays who lie and cheat i see men i know married on tinder looking all happy on fb though havnt found one good one yet
You can’t necessarily plan to meet “the one”. Let alone control when. Best advice honestly, enjoy yourself, enjoy exploring yourself & learn to be happy with you! Nothing wrong with being single & being a single mom. Your time will come when you at least expect it! Those are the best! you can’t expect someone to make you happy & fill the void. That is all you. Then let someone in.
I just minded my business. Turned my honey down but he kept trying and finally almost 1.5 years later we are together and as happy as we could be! Take time for yourself. The right one will come along when you least expect it and show you he is worth of your and your kids time!
I met my now wife of 10 years when she was a single mother of an almost teenager. Some guys don’t like women with kids from other men but they don’t know what they’re missing out on.
You’ll find some one in time.
Are you open to dating another single parent? If so, it might really work out in your favor. They will already know how it feels to be in it alone or how it feels to need to cancel last minute due to a sick child or a canceled sitter.
There may be dating apps or sites dedicated to single parents.
Don’t rush things don’t bring your children around them too soon after dating then the best way is to get out and do things with your children you will avencaraly meet a man that wants to get to know you knowing you have children but make it clear to them you don’t want your children involved unless you feel it would work out with this pandemic going on you need to be more protective you don’t want your children set up for another heart brake if a man truly cares to get to know you he will meet you on your terms I met my husband threw a friend he couldn’t have kids I had known him for years but we bouth were in relashonship then one day we found ourselves single at the same time my kids new him so being around him was a little easter but I never brought him to my house till a year and ahaff latter. It was ruff at first but you must think about your kids first they did not ask to be put in the situation there in people now days rush into things because there lonely it’s not healthy for your relashonship or your family it’s never easy for children to see there parence go there sepret ways let alone bring in someone new. My grandchild had regressed because if there parence separating then his mom got preg with new man’s child less then 4 mounths after brake up she brought new guy to her home to live he’s only 2 and he had his life torn apart it’s so sad but it happens so you can only try and make something stable in your child’s life my son has done that for him so althow he is not dating yet and it’s ben about a year he said he will date when his son is with his mom that he don’t want to confuse him any more then he is. So please for your child’s sake be descreet till you know it could last it’s understandable your lonely and want some attenchon but do it at your risk not your children !!! It’s only a suggestion so don’t get all affensive. And good luck to you I hope you fined that perfect person for you and will be good for and to your children too
Well if you wanna start dating your gonna need support. someone you trust to be with your child when you go on dates. And I know its been said already but don’t be bringing dates around your kid until your sure that person is going to be in your life for a while. I met my SO at work. We talked for a few weeks than started going out. After 6 months of dating I finally introduced him to my son. We’ve been together now for 10 year and had 2 more boys together. Its hard but you will fine someone who is going to want to be with you and is understanding that your child comes before your relationship.
So I had a bit of a different situation but ending goal was the same. Me and my so connected through online at the time we both was looking for other single parents to talk to and not feel so alone in our own journeys. We became fast friends and after a good bit of time it came to a point that we really wanted to date. But even after getting to that point it still took months for us to introduce each other to our kids . First time for me meeting his kiddo and him meeting mine was a group trick or treating with my sister in public. We did public meet ups for several months and then things like dinners, movies and what not. It took about a year and a half till we was comfortable fully having everyone together. I will say we both feel that it is better being with someone who understands the commitment of being single parents and the fact at the end of the day your kids always come first. Just make sure you watch your kiddos and if they are old enough listen if they say anything kids have an amazing intuition when it comes to people and usually you can see some signs that your child isnt comfortable around someone. And take your time people dont show true colors for a good amount of time and giving that period they will be bound to slip up at least a couple time you just have to make sure not to brush it off. If you have kids that are old enough to understand tell them and keep that communication open. I hope you find your person in life.
Go slow. If anything at all bout the guy gives you an off feeling, end it. Like date but be on top guard too. Wait a while before even considering introducing them to your child. Make sure they know you have one and they like children as well. I waited 6 or more months before I introduced my now husband to my kids. I trust very few people around my kids. Even after meeting them we went slow for him to get used to them and them to get used to him. No nights over or none of that til we actually got married. Be safe. Once something happens to your kid an “I’m sorry” doesn’t fix it.
Be very careful. Bm kept the girls on alert with a new guy all the time. Wait til you know it gonna work before you introduce kids. Our judge actually told her she was mentally abusing the kids because she would have them staying the night and the kids didn’t even know him and a new guy all the time. This was the biggest reason we won custody of our babies. It’s always good to wait a while before just throwing him in The kids lives just remember that you don’t want to hurt your child by bringing people into their lives who aren’t gonna stay
Yea same boat here but I’m just going to stay single and not date anymore. Im donee with it. Guess it’ll happen ome day but im just gonna focuse on us.
I never let anyone meet my child until I knew it was going to be a long term thing. Always be up front about what you are looking for. And don’t settle or take anyone else’s excuses. You have plenty enough to worry about.