How do you get back into the dating scene?

I’ve been divorced for almost four years now. I’m over my ex-husband, and we co-parent well. What I need advice on is how did y’all start dating again. I’ve grown a lot personal from my divorce and love the woman I’ve become. Seem like when I try to date, I find one red flag or a reason to be single. I guess what I’m asking is this normal?? I was left for another woman. I’m very introverted and comfortable being single.

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Following…because, same :pensive:

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You don’t need a man you are fine on your own.You sound confident and happy to be single.Stop looking and mr right will come along.
Good luck

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I began dating again after 3 years. It was hard. I spent that 3 years finding myself as an individual again. Not just mom and wife. I found red flags in every person I spoke to. That told me I wasnt ready. Not everything is a red flag. I became a dating coach as well. I am now married and gained 3 kids I adopted. Take your time. Remember every8has quirks zo do you. But not everything is a red flag. Not every joke is a red flag. Some peoples humor is dry and just sucks and say and do awkward things because they are out of their element.

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My situation is very different I just want to go out to eat and just talk is there any out there just wanting that just wondering

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I started with friends. Then used face book dating. Beware alot of them use it for sex hook up. Met some awesome ppl, some better left unmet.

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Don’t rush it!! When your ready you will know because this won’t be a question!! The fact you keep finding reasons to remain single indicates that although you have gotten over your divorce, you aren’t ready to engage different people on the dating scene!! Let it come to you, and it will when you let it, when your ready!! Proud single of almost 10 years :purple_heart::muscle: after two long term relationships, I’m enjoying me!! Good luck :purple_heart:

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I dated right after my divorce, 10 yrs ago. I dated that person for 2 1/2 yrs. We wanted different things but it truly was a smart move.
I took the next 6 years to focus on my kids and to truly get to know myself better.
Several times I signed up for online dating but she a couple days is take down my profile.
In December I decided it was time… in the middle of a Pandemic! I’ve forced myself out of my comfort zone. I’m still very much a dating toddler but I’ve met some nice guys.

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Dottie Huber so you can see what other people say

Personally if I were I would stay that way. Enjoy life it is so beautiful

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Well my story is after being married for 20 plus years and dating him since age 16 , I entered the single life at 40 . I took a few years to get myself together as well . I love live music so I started going to see bands town it was great I dont drink much so I was sober and wow 9 out of ten guys had wife’s or girlfriends it was crazy , I started by asking if they were really single or could I expect a crazy jealous person jumping out of the bushes. I dont say this to discourage you but plan on asking questions abt this subject. Even tho I felt more comfortable at my place I learned to make sure to check the guys place out early on just to be sure .

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It is normal and it is also behavior that you should continue! After going through a divorce and being single for so many years, you have learned to be independent and to love yourself. Now when you meet someone, you pick them apart and find these flags because they’re not up to your standard. And there is absolutely zero wrong with that. Set your standards high and don’t ever settle for less than you deserve.

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If your comfortable being single right now then I’d stay there until you feel ready maybe. But I’m also gonna say I was in the same position. Eventually I just started talking to people and flirting on social media, just never met up with them. Then at one point I ran into someone an I just felt like wow I need to get to know them and I took it really slow and talked for a few years an then eventually we went on a date and got serious pretty quickly. Of course your gonna get hurt in relationships it just depends what kind of hurt. If they break your trust completely then it’s just hard to trust again. But you will be able to trust again with the right person who is willing to give you that time and reasure you and comply with what you need in a relationship to make you comfortable. Remember, dating should be fun. Not stressful. If it’s too stressful, ur not ready :slight_smile:

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Yeah and if there is red flags then go with those red flags and keep looking. Don’t settle, you just have standards. I was the same way.

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I imagine youre dealing with fear of it happening again. I say try to find a guy friend who likes the same things you do. Reading, movies, games sports and go from there.

My brother waited many years until he out if the blue began talking to a woman he knew as a kid. They hit it off and are getting married soon. Love will find you when you least expect it. Have fun and enjoy your kids. Take a class or something. Join a club. Thats a way to find like minded people.

Continue growing who you are and date for fun not for the next prospective mate.

Don’t rush into anything. The right person will come when you least expect it. Enjoy your single life and forget dating for awhile. Concentrate on your children. If a date comes along go but don’t read in to it too much. Let it flow. Good luck. I know it’s not easy I’ve been there. After 5 years I finally found him.

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Join SAR in your area. Great single unselfish men in search and rescue.

If you’re seeing red flags in everyone you go out with, you’re not ready to date. No one is perfect we all have our flaws. Being in a relationship with someone means seeing past some of those flaws and helping that person become a better version of themselves and them doing the same for you.

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