How do you get the spark back after 10 years?

How do we get the spark back? Ten years later, three kids and I feel like there isn’t a spark?


Get freaky. Sit on his face. Slap the marbles around. Put the death grip on that sausage


Stop letting anyone give you advice. Do what works well for you. Get some therapy, couples counseling. Take a night to YOURSELVES and get a sitter. Ask each other what’s lacking, what they’d like to see happen/happening and DO it!


I’ve been with my hubby for 38yrs it takes a lot of work to keep it going. You might want to start on yourself! What do you do for yourself to make you happy🤔 You have to come 1st before you can make him happy.
I worked on my self esteem and confidence. Something we as moms lack of when taking care of our kids :heart: and family. I started working out lost alot of weight, started loving my self and it all fell in place after that. He started noticing me and we started having sex more, going out more, and having fun together. Started doing things differently instead of the same old stuff. Like I said before it takes work, love, and patience to make marriage work. If you really love each other sacrifices are made, but having that bond is like no other. Don’t get me wrong sometimes I wanna kick him to the curb :rofl::rofl: But I wouldn’t trade him for the world!

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Get creative… 28 yrs with my husband 26 married ya gotta get creative sometimes :wink:

Communicate with your partner and come up with some ideas you BOTH are open to


Try a wig, try a sexy outfit for the bedroom, try little surprises, a sandwich and a beer while he’s working or watching tv a kiss and not a word, try having a babysitter watch the kids and a hotel room, try a babysitter watching the kids at their house and u coming in naked with a bottle of wine. Try just texting… I love u let’s try something new I want u to fuck me! the fact that u want to make this change is a beautiful thing and u should go with it! God Bless u ur kids and ur marriage!

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Hard one. Seeing as everything in life evolves it’s hard to say. You got to look at what counts as that spark you referring to. Ask him how he feels and make plans together to ignite it again. Is it your looks you feel you let slip (body due to pregnancy), do you feel unattractive, has he changed physically, is it because he doesn’t look at you the way he use to, are the kids putting a damper on the love life? What is the root of the spark dying, only you can answer it honestly, then start from there.

put the children to bed early that way you will have more adult time,

Definitely have or try to have one day of the week just for the two of you… go for a walk, go grocery shopping together, go get some ice cream …just anything really…even if it’s just an hour … but just the two of you …don’t talk about kids or work or home or extended family…

Old lady here - after 3 kids being born, you’re pooped! Look into your self - what did you do to feel sexy before kids? If you feel sexy, that will transfer to him. Add some heat seeking lubricant. Put a lock on the bedroom door. Work at it, work for it. If there’s still love, it’ll come back.

You are in stage 5 of the family cycle which is ‘family with young children’ Therefore, realigning and adjusting to live as a couple again takes time which can in turn take a toll on your relationship with your partner. Understanding how the stages work will give you an insight into the areas that might need work. But overall, communication and mastering the skills will likely help you find your spark again!


Go sex toy and lingerie shopping together…

If you both enjoy reading you could read a romance type book together.

Date night once a week. NO kids!! Gives you time to talk. No cell phones allowed. We’ve been married for 41 years, had 6 kids together but always put each other first. I still flash him and he still loves it. :two_hearts:


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Let him in the back door :smirk: guaranteed spark.


Try a swingers party🤷🏼‍♀️

Its not easy…sometimes you get so into a routine its hard to get out of it. My husband and I had to take a weekend trip to visit old college friends after having our second child and talk on the drive down…try to flirt again and we ended up drinking and hanging out all weekend with our good friends and reconnecting in all kinds of ways. It was alot of fun and got us to just spend time together and relax. Remember what it was like to just be us in a relationship. Now atleast twice a week we have time together even after the kids go to bed to just talk, watch a movie, go in the hot tub, or have a drink together.


Never stop dating.
Moms that think that leaving their kids with someone else for a couple of hours is the worst they can do, ended up hurting their relationship with their partners.
We go on a date every week, we have fun plan it, our favorite restaurant, looking forward to our favorite drink, I like dressing up for him, and he does the same.
7 years together and I still want to impress him.
The spark is gone when you let yourself go and focus on the kids ONLY.