How do you handle the screaming and fighting associated with Autism?

I just wanted to know how parents deal with the constant screaming and fighting—being mean to animals and others. I feel like I’m constantly going all day trying to calm him down or get him to stop being mean to his siblings and pets. It’s getting to the point where I can’t even keep my house clean anymore, and I break down crying because I feel like it’s always a mess, and I get really embarrassed when people show up outta nowhere or if I forget and the place is a mess the kids are bouncing off the walls. I never get a day to myself.


Honestly I feel you there. My son is 7 now and his pediatrician said it’s definitely autism, but we’re on the waiting list to get him to the specialist which takes almost 2 years. He gets really mean to his brother and scratches him when I’m not looking just because he “made him mad”. He’s very good with his words but social and emotional is where the struggle is for him. What I’ve learned to do is tire him out by taking long walks or taking my kids to the park and letting him run it out. He’s usually pretty good afterwards but it varies.

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Try heavy work or something weighted.

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It kind of depends on your child and thier limits and abilities.
Try consulting with your childs therapists. They are often wonderful sources of information and can help tremendously

I know the entire meds debate pushes everyones buttons but sometimes they can be a big help

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I feel like I could of written this myself, I have no advice because I’m going through the same thing, it’s so hard and so exhausting. Hugs to you xx

I would slap their butts n make then sit


First of all, if he can’t be safe with pets, you rehome the pets. -period-
My daughter made the choice to kick her baby brother in the face (which I witnessed and punished her for) and replace the cat’s water with sprite, all in one day. When I noticed a yellowish tint to the cat water and asked about it, she confessed. I told her right then and there that no matter how much I love her if she is going to continuously put the members of our household in danger she couldn’t live with us, and that she was never to do anything like that again. She has shoved her brother, taken his toys, and carelessly dropped him while playing (he’s a toddler, not an infant) but she’s never kicked him again. She has also not gone anywhere near the cat’s food or water since.
Your child should be in therapy. In some places, if you qualify, you can get the therapy and wraparound services for free, along with respite care 1 or 2 days a week. Wraparound should provide a behavior therapist or a BSC who will meet with you regularly, in the home, to discuss ways to change and control the child’s dangerous and negative behaviors. If the doctor is recommending certain medications, then it’s past time to engage with that. Hurting others cannot be tolerated, even if it’s not malicious. That is where the line needs to be. You need help. Get help, and take the help offered.


I’m going through it with my daughter and we are trying out a weighted vest it helps but she knows that’s it helps and hates to put it on but she is strating to get more violent towards kids at school and it’s a struggle big time

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We are a adhd/high anxiety house kind of and I notice a huge difference if the house is clean with minimal stuff. So I got rid of and purged a ton of stuff to just make things easier and I definitely brings the stress down in the house.


You should check my out my nephews mom my nephew has autism and she is amazing with him!! I’m sure she could help you maneuver through some of the autism life!

They have group thatom have auto spectrum kids it a good group

I work with children on the autism spectrum. First advice I can give is reinforce good behavior. Let them know you see it. The more you reinforce good behavior the likely they are to continue it especially if it’s a big item they love. Second is to keep your language short. Sometimes they don’t understand long lectures. Give easy to follow directions some good ones are “hands to yourself”, “ready hands”, “quiet mouth”. Always praise and reward when they follow those instructions. Keep things consistent as a schedule and structure is super helpful. You can make a handy chart and work on them knowing the expectations to gain a reward. I have lots of other tips feel free to pm me :blush:


You’re asking the wrong question. The question should be, what brings him to the point of screaming and fighting? He is having a meltdown. It’s not his fault. Why is he always having them? Something is bothering him. You’ll just have to find out what that this is.


My brother had a trampoline in his room that he used to released tension. The key was seeing the need to release tension before he lost control so we could direct him to the trampoline.

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If you’re not part of it already, join the sensory processing disorder parent group, I suggest you do so. It’s been a lot of help.

Autistic children are reacting to stimulus they cannot deal with. They act out, out of inability to process what is happening. You need to get him help, at school, at a therapist. They can also show you how to cope, how to distract, how to calm him down. The sooner you start, the sooner you will all be happier. Check with your local school district for special needs kids, they should be able to direct you to resources to help.

My son is Level 3/non-verbal/severe behaviors. CBD has helped immensely! We also have him on anxiety meds and attending ABA therapy. It’s been a year since we gave in and medicated him, we have no regrets!! It’s gotten so much better and because he’s not self harming as much, he’s taking the time to show me what he needs or I have time to figure it out because he’s slightly more patient. As for pets, we decided it was best for him to be an animal free home. Reach out to your center. In Colorado we have TRE and they help with resources/finding the right therapies etc good luck mama you are not alone :heart:

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With my adhd/spd/ocd/ anxiety kid, who LOVES to glass shatteringly scream, I cover my own ears and say, “oh ow ow! That hurts mommas ears! Ow ow!”
A lot of the time he was just screaming to get that sensory input. Hella frustrating.
When it was meltdown or defiance related it was - you can calm down here or in your bedroom, which would you like?
Or, you can scream outside or in your bedroom, which would you like.

I learned not to treat my asd daughter any differently then her siblings. She is punished for the same things they are in the same way. Autism doesn’t equal inability to learn and function. It means they have to work harder and need more support. You must have to be consistent and train yourself and much as the child.

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