My husband and I have a 2-year-old, a 9-month-old and I just discovered I’m pregnant with another. I’m excited but slightly overwhelmed, I’m a SAHM and my husband is a local trucker who works long hours. He’s home each night thankfully and is a wonderful husband and dad, but needs his rest, of course, and that doesn’t leave much time between when he gets home and goes to bed, so I handle the majority of the house and our boys alone. I’m curious how other mamas in similar situations handled the adjustment? And any advice, mom-hacks etc. are welcome
Just do a little each day. It’s really not that bad when you just keep up day to day. That’s what I started doing through my pregnancy/newborn and it was helpful, it’s not so overwhelming.
This made me cry
When you first have children they talk about the challenges of parenting…the struggles of a baby waking in the night,
the toddler who won’t stay in their bed, the cost of childcare, injuries from sports…
Having to take off work to pick them up from school when they don’t feel well, helping them with homework, a messy house, the never ending laundry, the cost to buy school clothes, packing their lunches…
You watch their eyes light up on Christmas morning…and try to soak in the magic of those moments.
You coach them in sports, rushing to practices and ballgames…and tote them all over the country to let them play the game they love…no matter how exhausting or expensive it becomes.
Life is just so busy that you rarely even stop to think what the end of those days look like.
In fact, it’s not really even something you can wrap your mind around.
You go into it thinking that 18-20 years sounds like a long time…
Then suddenly hours turn into days…days into months…and months into years.
That little person that used to crawl up next to you in bed and cuddle up to watch cartoons…suddenly becomes this young adult who hugs you in the hallway as they come and go.
And the chaos and laughter that used to echo throughout your home…gets filled with silence and solitude.
You’ve learned how to parent a child who needs you to care for and protect them…but have no clue how the whole “letting go” thing is supposed to work.
So you hold on as tight as you can…wondering how time passed so quickly…feeling guilty that you missed something…
Because even though you had 20 years…it just somehow doesn’t seem like it was enough.
You ask yourself so many questions…
Did you teach them the right lessons?
Did you read them enough books as a child?
Spend enough time playing with them?
How many school parties did you have to miss?
Do they really know how much you love them?
What could I have done better as a parent?
…When it’s time for them to go, it all hits you like a ton of bricks.
And all you can do is pray…hope…and trust that God will protect them as they start to make their way into the world alone.
Parenting is by far the most amazing experience of your life…that at times leaves you exhilarated…while others leave you heartbroken.
But one thing is certain…it’s never enough time…
So for all the parents with young children…whose days are spent trying to figure out how to make it through the madness…
Exhausted day in and day out…
Soak. It. All. In.
Because one day…all those crazy days full of cartoons, snuggles, sleep overs, Christmas morning magic, ballgames, practices and late night dinners…
All come to an end.
And you’re left hoping that you did enough right, so that when they spread their wings…
Credit to the Amazing Author:
You stay off social media and get your chores done, get a routine going, schedule time to appreciate your spouse, and provide yourself self-care. Actions speak louder than words! Strangers on the internet won’t come to clean your house or watch your kids!
Get a planner. Schedule chores out for yourself. Stay organized. Let him rest. But remember, you are working long hours as well. Schedule time for yourself too
Don’t sweat the small stuff. Be the mom your boys need. Talk not just complain to your hubby.
If possible and if you can afford it, hire a cleaning person. Even if they come once a month. It will help with some stuff you just can’t get too. You can’t do it all.
Twice month if you can would be best.
Keep yourself busy, which I’m sure you are. I found journaling helps and once a month schedule alone time just for the two of you and also just for yourself. Go on a date with him and go get a massage for yourself. That way you get the much needed time with him and your kiddos get alone time with daddy too. It helps to look forward to those things. Take one day at a time and treasure the few moments you get with your hubby, and when you need to break down I find the shower is the best place to let it all out. Also make sure your hubby knows how much you appreciate his hard labor for your family
Try to keep a schedule for cleaning, laundry, meals. Shop larger to cut your store visits (saves time) stock up on sales. Pick 1 room a month to deep clean doing a little at a time, bedtime for kids is important so you always have a minute with hubby. Ignore dust bunnies on the hard days, they will be there tomorrow. Music calms kids, sing to them everyday and when you do chores. Good luck. I raised 7 and worked and it was okay.
My husband was deployed for over a year this past year. I have a 17, 14, and 4 year old. I would recommend a schedule and/or planner. Find a neighbor or family to help on the chance that you need it. Look into things like Walmart pick up or a delivery grocery. Alone time! Even if that’s you laying in a tub of relax epsom salt for 20 minutes. And know that there is always tomorrow to finish the chores. You can’t pour from an empty cup. Good luck.
Years ago, in 4.5 years, we had 3 babies. My husband worked a lot. It was hard on me. Years pass quickly so enjoy these next 4 - 5 , forget a perfectly clean home. Play & nap with your little ones. Make a journal to record events. I believe your husband has a full plate. Make time for just you two.
We have 7 years between all our kids.
That how we deal with long hours and having kids but to each their own…
How ever if someone is already overwhelmed with 2 toddlers, it may not be the best time to had a 3rd toddler to the mix…
I had 5 in 8 years…hubby also truckdriver…wash everytime you have a load…fold and put away every day…easier than large piles…get help …my Mil helped with ironing and folding once a week…makes a difference…get hubby to cook on the days he doesn’t work…wash dishes twice a day…clean as you go
Having hubby time is so so important. So try to just make a routine and not lose your mind I know it’s hard right now. You became a mom! You didn’t die! Ignore all these negative comments. You will be okay
61y/o mother of 2, grandma of 11, and great grandma of 6. While kids nap, you clean or read a book, or take a nap with them. And please don’t stress out on the big stuff. “This too shall pass.” It won’t be as big tomorrow.
My fiance works long hours in the warm weather paving roads. Most times he wouldnt get home until late. I always kept in mind how lucky i am to be the one to stay home and watch every single second of my children grow. I always made sure we did crafts that were for dad to see when he got home so he never felt left out. Its hard never getting a break tbh but i kept pushing through because i know he is doing what he has to for us to have the life we have. I liked to set an alarm for atleast two hours before my kids get up (5:30am) just to have coffee, tend to my plants, feed my fish and clean up a little before they got up. Making you happy matters!! Also we have a set family game day on sundays. Every once in a while he would miss because a late sunday but we always made time for us as well.
Sounds like he keeps the chores up in the bedroom … lol
Come up with a daily routine and stick with it, when shopping go for big shops so you’re not running every 2-3 days for shopping, do your laundry every 2 days, have a sleep routine for the kiddies. No man or woman is an island, so don’t kill yourself trying to do it all at once, no one has done a perfect job all the way through raising kids, you learn and adjust as you go along. What works for some may not work for you.
I can’t believe how many c***s there are on here. Nasty women. She’s asking for advice on how to handle everything not your opinion about how many kids to have, or how close together to have them. I also didn’t hear her ask anyone to come clean her house or take care of her kids. Didn’t your parents tech you “if you have nothing nice to say, say nothing”?
To all giving good advice, you women rock.