How do you help your child through tantrums?

Just curious what other parents do as techniques to help their child get over whatever they may be having a fit about…

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The best way (in my opinion) is to let them throw their fit. Don’t talk to them, don’t acknowledge it. That just encourages the behavior to continue. And then when they are done, sit and talk about why they felt whatever way they were feeling.

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I send mine to his room and tell him to let it out and when he is done to come out and we can start again

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With my almost 2 year old daughter, I tell her I know she’s upset, but that won’t get her her way. I offer comforts if she’s really upset, too. Depends on the situation, though.

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I say “I understand you’re frustrated, but if you’re going to throw a fit you do that in your room” Or I put him in his room and say something like let me know when you’re done and ready to come out.

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We gave our kids a choice of ways to vent their anger as reccomended by their developmental pediatrician. We say, I know you’re angry but heres how you can let your anger out: They could scream into a pillow, stomp their foot, growl like a tiger… then when they got their emotions out, we talk about it. And let them vent anger again if need be.

Kids get emotional too, they just need to be taught proper ways to express it.

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It depends honestly. My stepson is 3 with a hearing problem so he has a pretty major speech delay. So when he’s having a tantrum I get down to his level and tell him to take a deep breath and I do it with him. And I use a soothing voice to get him to relax. Assuming he takes the breathes and relaxes, I try to get him to show me what he’s mad about. If that doesn’t work and he’s just being a butthead for no reason, we send him to his room and tell him when he’s ready to act like a big boy again, then he can come back out.

Get to their level… literally get down on your knees so you are eye to eye with them and speak to them in a level controlled voice. Give them options like they want a cookie and have a fit if you say no offer them other things and tell them when they CAN have the cookie. If its something I have no control over I tell them that and explain why mommy can’t fix it or make it better. If they are just have a fit for no reason like my daughter when she’s tired or bored or just being dramatic a lot of times I just pick her up n cuddle she just turned 2 and sometimes I just let her lash out till she feels better. Sometimes I put her in her room just depends on why she’s doing it. Tired=bedroom. Bored=watch a movie n cuddle. Sometimes she just needs a hug n kiss :woman_shrugging:

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I teach my daughter how to express her anger and emotions in a healthy manner. Like someone mentioned above Amanda Lynn scream into a pillow, stomp their foot, growl like a tiger. I have my daughter throw a ball in a hoop, it somehow calms her down. Squeezing safely, throwing again safely, any safe physical motion that’s safe can work. It teaches them how to control their emotions and that is the best thing we can teach our children, because to control their emotions in a safe healthy manner is a great thing :heart: I am so proud I can do this with my daughter, no spanking involved, no physical harm :heart:

Put them somewhere they can’t harm themselves, someone, or something else. Their bedroom perhaps.
Then let them just unwind. Let them scream or do whatever. This helps them get it all out.
Then when they’ve had a few moments and seem to be calming down, you can go in and ask/say for a hug.
Tell them it’s okay and you understand they felt out of control. That you love them and it’ll get better.

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I dont acknowledge it at all unless they start harming themselves (like banging their head off things). My kids are 4 and 5 so now I either tell them to go to their room if they want to act like that or tell them to cry quietly cause no one wants to hear it lol. That usually gets them to stop instantly cause they realize it don’t get them anywhere. My 4 year old, a girl, when I say that to her she grunts really loudly and then stomps up the stairs into her room, I’m sad to say she got that from me :rofl:

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My daughter is 17 months old. I get down on her level, calmly ask what’s wrong and try to resolve the issue. Sometimes she starts a tantrum bc I take something away that she shouldn’t have, but I make sure to explain to her why she can’t have it. I never fly off of the handle because she is too young to understand and is trying to process all of these emotions that she is feeling, all while trying to gain a sense of independency.

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I leave them alone let them have their melt down. They are young and just learning how to handle emotions and sometimes just get over whelmed. Once they are done I sit down on their level and talk to them about what happened and why and just listen and reassure them.
Remember even as adults we get overwhelmed we all have different ways to cope and deal with things. Children are learning and don’t always have those coping mechanisms just yet. We can’t punish them for just have a emotional break down even if it seems its over the wrong colored cup.

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So Im old school yall might not want to hear this…I have 3 grown well adjusted kids. When they had a tantrum whatever they wanted they did not get period. They learned tantrums didnt work. Oh it took a few times but it stoped. The lesson was you dont get your way cause you show out. You get rewarded/things by being good period. I always told them sorry your mad but this will pass. Aka sorry about your luck. But your bad time or issues isnt going to stop us from having a good time. I love you but you will live. Guess what? They all grew up fine! I dont go down to the childs level I have the child grow up to mine. Yeah fits suck and rarely happen at a perfect time. But by doing that I had way less tantrums to deal with than other moms.

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Instead of trying to scold my toddler or tell him to “STOP IT” I sit with him, and tell him I understand he’s upset. Usually if I stay calm, he eventually calms down (as hard as it is!). My son is only 17 months so he doesn’t understand or comprehend everything I’m saying yet. I realize tantrums at that age are just ways of expressing frustration.

I started by teaching my son deep breathes and then we he tells me what’s going on. Now that he is getting the hang of that I’ve started saying “okay you’ve got 3-5 (depends on the situation) to freak out and then that’s it and as I slowly start counting backwards he starts doing his breathing

My girl is 1.5 years old and she is just started a Flop and Drop stage - what we call her tantrums.

She also squeezes her fists tight and shakes a bit when she gets frustrated or angry. I’ve begun to just give her kisses (if it’s an emotional reason) or let her flop and drop and wait until she’s done to redirect her.

I hope that I can figure out the type of support she needs or figure out my parenting style. I want her to learn coping and meditation.

She’s already doing yoga so maybe I can try the breathing thing?

With my oldest (it was my first baby I didn’t really know what was doing🤷😫) id let her handle it. id always be sure she’s safe, sometimes placed her in crib or playpen, tried distraction but she was a rager and wouldn’t hear any of it at times!
Afterwards I’d always just hug her. My second didn’t have very bad ones, or very many, but for her distraction with her favorite show, her dog or placing her in a safe place was how handled. I say simply why whatever it was couldnt happen. Hug n move on.
My son is over yr and is starting to do these a little bit, he is easily distracted with elmo, his puppy or momma hugs. Just depends what the fit is over.
I think the biggest mistake I made at first was making too much of a deal.
I’ve learned if im calm they’ll get there sooner. It’s important to teach them just what they’re feeling and how to identify- I wasn’t too on top of that with my first.
Easy words such as mad, sad, glad could be put into any situation. So far my son has said mad.
And he was very about a toy falling over, he hit the toy fell to floor in fit.
I went to move him he pulled my hair and I simply sd it hurt I don’t want to be around you right now. He went through his thing then this empathetic sweety came to give me cuddles, rub my hair … He doesn’t say a lot of words yet but pretty sure that was a sorry.

I tell them to go to bed until they’ve finished. I can’t stand watching them cry, scream, kick, potentially hurt themselves, at least if they are on their beds its soft and they can’t do no damage and I don’t have to see it and feel bad

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After reading the comments I feel like I may be wrong for ignoring my kids while they throw a tantrum and then when its over then we talk about it. But this has worked on me because I hated being ignored by my mom when I did wrong so it forced me to get my act together and get back in her good graces.

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