How do you know when it's time to get a divorce?

When did you know it was time for a divorce? Me and my husband been together for 21 years and married 11 with two kids, 5 and 7. We literally just argue if we in the same room. For the last year, it has been no friendship, no affection, no dates, etc… We don’t even watch tv together. I’m so overwhelmed from doing all the cooking, cleaning, kid activities, etc… On top of working full-time, homeschooling kids (due to pandemic), running operations for his two businesses, plus I run my own tax business. I’m just over it. But I feel bad for wanting to leave because I don’t want to crash my husband’s business. I constantly ask him to help when he’s around, but he doesn’t. He won’t even pick up his clothes. Recently I found out he text a few chicks, “Happy Valentine Day,” he claimed as he was just friendly. We never had infidelity issues, but now it’s become disrespectful with the name-calling between both of us. Plus, my husband has jumped out of town twice in the last couple of months while I’m home with the kids. He did invite me, but both times were last minute, and I can’t just drop off kids for five days. When do you know it’s time to let it go?

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My therapist told me that it is time to get a divorce when the thought of staying together is worse than the idea of getting divorced. That is what helped me leave for good. Good luck!

When you have had enough you’ll know

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you already know your answer. if youre going to be a single parent, be a single parent. much harder to do when youre carrying around 200+ pounds of dead weight, cant go anywhere…

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I think you need to sit him down and talk to him. He may not even know how you feel. Communication is key - how you are feeling and why would be a good starting point.

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Your kids are watching. You two are modeling what a relationship looks like. You must never forget that.

Have you two considered counseling? Have you asked him if he wants to remain on this marriage? I don’t the respect needed for a healthy relationship.

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You should try to have a trip with just you and husband.
Try to reconnect.
If it doesn’t work, you know it’s time for divorce.
People change, but the pandemic has caused many issues for many couples.
Just make sure it’s what you both want.

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It’s PAST time to leave. You are already doing everything on your own. No help. All your doing is wasting your time “hoping” he’ll change. He ain’t got no plans to change why should he? He has someone to cook, clean, raise his kids, teach his kids, (btw you are teaching your children it’s ok to disrespect you & disrespect any relationship they may have with anyone), keeping his business running. You are his momma, his maid, his sex toy when he want his magic stick shinned, hell, I’ll leave my husband & marry you if you do all that & not expect anything in return! You are giving your soul away for nothing. Don’t worry about communication, the time for talking is gone. It’s time to show that shellfish jerk what a fool he was for letting you get away.

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Sounds like he already has. I would move on and be happy sooner than later. Good luck :blue_heart:

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It sounds like you already know the answer. Just remember the relationship you model in front of your kids set the bar for the relationships they seek/have with other people. Dont feel guilt when it comes to his business, thats his responsibility,not yours.

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If you have to ask this question, maybe it’s time? So sorry :purple_heart:

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Go to counseling. Single life is no joke either. Counseling will quite literally show if the marriage can be saved. If he won’t go, you know. If he goes but doesn’t put in the work, you know.

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If your marriage means anything to you go get counselling . You both need to want this & do what it takes to save yoir marriage.
Also in regards to being over worked . Start delegating work were you can. Hire a cleaner to That takes heaps of pressure off …All.the best

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With you asking this question you know your answer. I was together 19 years, married almost 10 when I left with our 2yo daughter. Unlike your husband mine only worked occasionally but never helped around the house, with our kid. I worked cleaned and took care of her when I was home. On top in infidelity and drugs…seeing him be so lazy made me resent him. I’m glad I left when I did.

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Leave him it sounds like he has a girl friend I have been there

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Sounds like you already know the answer.

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Don’t quit on your marriage. I think people these days are quick to quit it when things get hard. Sounds like you need to reconnect & communicate about these issues. Remember why you fell in love in the first place. And always remember your partner isn’t perfect.

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Now, but you already know that. Try counseling but other than that, Adios.

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I think you either need to sit down with him and have a very real talk about how things need to change if he wants to continue the marriage and maybe even counseling. If he doesn’t want to change or says he will and doesn’t then there is your answer. If you really don’t want to be with him anymore then for you own piece of mind you should end things. So I guess it depends if you want to keep trying to are definitely done.

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So sad that relationships turn into this. I just went through this , felt like he was roommate , always felt alone , all house hold chores , full time job mite as well do what makes me happy.

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