How do you know when it's time to leave a relationship?

How do you know when it’s time to leave a relationship? My boyfriend and I have been together for five years next month. We work at the same place together same hours and everything. He makes more than I do. But in 5 years, we have been on vacation, have never done anything as a family. I have a seven-year-old. He has a 13-year-old. I do everything around the house dishes, laundry, help with homework, feed the dogs cook clean. I pay the light bill, gas bill, and all the food in the house. He pays the house payment, but it’s 200 every other payday, so 400 a month. The house is in my name he just the co-signer. We had got into it before I told him that u need help around the house. It was just not my job. He said he would try. Well, nothing has changed at all. Uts to the point I’m depressed. I don’t even like going home. Because I’m going to have to do it all over again. I have actually when on strike in this house, and I stopped cleaning. It got so bad all the dishes were used, and no one cleaned anything or took out the trash. We don’t even have sex anymore. I’m only in my 30 he in his 40s. Don’t really talk. We don’t say I love you… when you know its time to leave

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When you have to ask this question

Have sex after work then you’ll feel better about cleaning the house idk :joy::joy:

My best friend always told me when I was thinking, “you’ll now when the time is right and you’ll make the needed move to go forward”. Turns out when the day and time came it just kinda hit me and I knew enough was enough!

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If you can imagine him with another female and be okay with it: leave. I did.

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Time to evaluate if u r willing to live the rest of ur life together or if u would be better and happier on ur own caring for urself and ur child,??? Sounds like a lose/lose situation.

Sounds like it’s time to end things now

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I feel like a heart to heart talk would help. I feel the 13 year old could be doing the dishes for you and perhaps taking out the trash and keep their room tidy as well. Even maybe keep the bathroom clean. The 7 year old should probably learn to keep their things tidy as well and allowed to feed the animals… maybe this will help with your work load around the house and you should voice that to him. As far as the footing of the other bills perhaps speak about splitting them since u both live their with both of your guys children. If all that is a hard No from him Id suggest an ultimatum. It’s not far for your kids to live in conditions like that just because the dad/ step dad doesn’t want to help.

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Sorry to hear that. Everything you just said says it’s time to leave. You know the answer.

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Sounds like a good time to end the relationship. Don’t waste your life waiting for someone to change. You deserve to be happy. A relationship is a partnership you should be building each other up. You should definitely be doing things as a family after five years. Should have been a long time ago.

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It’s time to leave u need someone that’s gonna respect you

He is taking advantage of you. Leave now.

Sounds like it’s time to leave.
You could do it on your own

You already know the answer. As you put it down in words, you knew. He’s not making your life better in any way. You need to give him his walking papers.

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You know the answer. Getting the time to go from people you don’t know isn’t going to make it easier. When you can leave with no feelings towards the other person bad or good it’s time at least this is what my moms says.

I think you already know the answer, especially if your not happy anymore. Relationships have their ups and downs but if the bad outweighs the good and ones just not interested in putting in effort then it’s best to go separate ways sometimes.

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Sounds like he needs to pack his stuff and leave. Honestly it’s time to kick him to the curve before it gets worse

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I’m wondering if you need to ask him to do something specific. My husband has a hard time helping because he knows I have a routine but if I ask him to do something he will

Im pretty much in same relationship

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Sounds like your dating my Ex…Good Luck

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Not his job? Wtf not your “job” either you don’t want to live in unsanitary conditions. If he also doesn’t think marriage counseling is his thing then I definitely think its over. Cut your loses.

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Sounds like uts time for him to go now

Sit down one last time and tell him exactly what you need for this relationship to work and for you to be happy.
Ask him what he needs in the relationship to be happy.
Division of house hold duties is a must. Write down everything that needs to get done and assign them to someone to be responsible for them. Kids included.
If something doesn’t get done then everyone knows who needs to be held accountable and should speak up.
I agree that he is being a douche when it comes to responsibility. But you have let him do it.
Don’t say things like hey can you help me out by doing xyz… No no no. If you say things like help me, you are sending the message that these things are solely your responsibility. And of course they aren’t, but it sounds like it doesn’t it.

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If you are asking “ is it time to leave?” It was time to leave then! I think $400 all inclusive ( maid, nanny, cook, and laundress) living is bullshit!!! I dont understand “splitting bills” though, for 31 years our money goes into our joint account, bills and children’s needs had to be met before we satisfied our own indulgences and we do have an agreement ( mostly because I am an addict in long term recovery so need to be and held accountable) we can each purchase what we want (provided all bills are paid) when we want but if either of us gets more than $100 per transactions cash out at ATM,the bank texts him when my card is used and me when his card is used. We are empty nesters so the financial issues that we may have had are no longer a thing, but we do discuss every big purchase! For example today I found great price on plane tickets so I immediately booked a trip to Disney for me and my grandson, and then called my husband to let him know, 1) I am taking our GS to Disney in June and 2) I spent $400 on tickets. His response? Make sure you book a nice hotel and rental car, and to his surprise told him “ I did” when he asked the price, I was so happy to tell him I found $1250 in travel reward $$$ and booked a week hotel and it only cost us the taxes on the total. Anyway, if you are so unhappy that you reached out for opinions says you don’t easily throw in the towel and 2) you already knew how your friends would respond —Start budgeting, give him a date ( but not when angry) to revisit the topic of dissolving the relationship -30 days (?) if things don’t change and give him a move out date if he doesn’t want to change or fails to meet the terms of what the two of you mutually agreed to, but I would get it in writing to protect yourself should he decide to not work on the relationship and stay. If his mail is delivered to your home and he doesn’t want to leave you will have to evict him which is costly!

Sounds like y’all need some sizzle back in the relationship.

It’s time to kick him to the curb. Your sitting there obviously paying more bills than he is while making less money and do all of the housework then what IS he there for?

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Il est temps qu’il parte

Move out for a bit see if he will do it then

It’s time to leave when you are miserable and your partner obviously does not care.
Quit wasting your better years on him.

Sounds like you have a roommate and not a boyfriend. Time to move on.

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When ur asking how do you know when its time to leave

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When is it a good time to leave a relationship? When you’re asking yourself this question.

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Sounds like you already know what time it is

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If you’re that unhappy and questioning it already then you should prob just leave.

Time to tell him to kick rocks

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Yepp sounds like its time to leave also sounds like you know that already…

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If you already are feeling it you don’t need anyone else to tell you. Men will typically just stay to not be alone and that no kind of relationship. I’d rather be alone than live with that as most women would. Time to let go.

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So sorry but it’s time. You’re not gonna be missing out on anything except that tiny bit of help with house payment. Leave the relationship so that you can find happiness

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It’s past time. Get out while you are still young.

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You’re answering your own question. You can try to make it work, communicate. Make a chore list. Like, I do dishes my man takes out the trash, I clean the livingroom, he makes dinner, you have to go 50/50. I was depressed in my last relationship and didn’t even know it. As for sex talk to him he might be feeling the same way. Also, the kids are old enough for chores even to do their own laundry. Teach them, and give them specific chores to do so it’s not all on you. Goodluck!

If you have to ask yourself if it’s time to leave then the answer is probably yes.

Sounds like it’s time

It’s already time. You work and pay most of the bills. You do all the housework. You’re not getting laid. You don’t want to be around him any more. It’s most definitely time in my opinion.

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Sounds like you want permission to leave.

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Deffo something keeping you there ?? What is it that’s the question !

It’s time when it’s gotten like that. It’s a stale relationship going nowhere

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If he 40 and ain’t figured out how to live yet… There’s no changing that man.

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Id say you already know the answer

We usually check out of the relationship long before we leave.i believe you have checked out

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Its time to move on id start looking for a new and improved job as well

Kick his lazy ass out :100::partying_face:

When you have to ask a question like this…

Lol i think im with his brother

Sounds like you know it’s time

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I mean probably 5 years ago

I feel you girl im in my 40s he 39 he works but not always that hard yeah he makes the most money but share the chores

When you start questioning it is when its time… you are asking because you know you want and deserve better. Wishing you the best :smiling_face_with_three_hearts:

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I’d saying from the sound of it you already know the answer

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You just answered your own question!!0

So your kids don’t do chores either?

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Girl it’s time to move on. Quick question though where do you live that you only pay$400 rent? What a bargain.

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When you ask anonymously on facebook, there’s your sign.

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If your asking this type of question… then you already know the answer. You know what you want, when you want it… and Hun … YOU WANT OUT.
You deserve a grown ass man that shares it all with you. Including chores. A PARTNER in crime ! Plus a partner in all the boring adult stuff And honestly you need a best friend, lover and a fighter, IN AND OUT THE BEDROOM.
… you’re already a mom to your child, you don’t need to take care of someone else’s ! Send him back to his momma ! He’s broken …

Are you better off with him or without him? That’s the question. If you think your life is better with him there, stay. If you think it is better with him gone, then out he goes. Only you can answer that question.

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I would say stick it out and save enough money so when you are really ready to call it quits you have something to fall back on. Good luck to you! :shamrock:

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You can leave if you want to girl questioning it was spot on who would want to live like that? no sex but on top of that sounds like no intimacy just roommates… let him know the delio if not get out girl you dont wanna be stuck like that another 5 yrss.

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I would ask him to go to marriage counseling with you. If he can’t get it through his head that this is a partnership instead of a slave situation, and he needs to put in 50-100% effort, then you know.

Also you’re both setting a bad example for the kids if they don’t have any family responsibilities either. They need to learn how to do everything around the house by the time they reach 18 if not before. Teach and model adulting.

Also, you have to be very literal and specific with men: “I need you to do X in this manner by (time) with this frequency.” “We need to have date night once every two weeks, a family activity once every week, and a couples get away twice a year. Let’s plan the next month’s activities tomorrow at 8 pm so you have time to come up with some ideas.” Then hold him to it. Tell him if he doesn’t want to go with you, you’ll find someone who does.

After you went on strike and he let everything sit, I’m not hopeful, but give it one last try with a pro. In the meantime, plan an exit strategy and see what your rights are in terms of kicking him & his son out or getting yourself off the lease.

Kids are old enough to do chores and do u rent your house or are u buying it? Your name is on the lease kick him out of u Can
afford it on your own

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Id say u know u stayed too long as is… a real man helps and realizes he has reaponsibilities also kick him the fuck out! U do u girl! Ur worth so much more!!!

When you have to ask this question.

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Ask yourself this… if he changed right now and started helping around the house, cooking and cleaning… would it fix everything and make you happy??? If the answer is no, than you should leave bc it sounds like y’all’s problems are deeper than him just not helping out :woman_shrugging::woman_shrugging:

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Oh dear, if you’re asking “how do know it’s time to leave?” Then you already know the answer. It sounds like that relationship has run its course. You’re not happy, you don’t have sex, and you hate being home with him. It sounds like he’s more of a roommate than a boyfriend.

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Get out now so U only have to clean up after yourself and teach your child how to pick up after themself. They are old enough to learn.

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Now… It doesn’t get better with out both trying… Just go mama

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If you had to post this then I think you already know!

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I think it’s time to leave babe, life’s too short to be anything but happy

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When you have to ask how you know when it’s time to leave🤷‍♀️

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If you’re asking that question, it’s time to leave.

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If your asking you already know the answers. Your happiness comes first momma

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It’s time to leave :cry:

When you’re depressed, don’t want to go home, and start asking when is it time to give up and leave, it’s definitely time to go

When you have to ask the question, its time.

It is time to leave NOW!

Kick his sorry ass to the curb

If you need to ask it’s over. Just becareful with the house. Since he’s the co-signed & has proof he’s been paying it he can take it over.

When you have to post anonymously, asking when it’s time to go, it’s time to go.

For you and your childs mental health safety, id say now is that time. I can tell you from experience as well that a child growing up around that type of household is going to have social problems, relationship problems, and self image issues when they get older, and theyre likely to repeat the same cycle with their future family if that is the example set for them. I wish you and your child the best moving forward because you both deserve so much more :heart:

I think just asking the question is a sign enough :hugs: