Backstory my husband and I will be together for four years this summer, and he still seems to not know me or understand me. He can’t tell when I’m upset or when what he does upsets me, and if I tell him, it seems to go in one ear, and out the other, I have told him many times I wanted to go on dates with him, and I feel we need to talk more about things and keep learning about each other I even tried the 365 questions to ask book, but he didn’t really answer them I guess my question is and I know it’s up to me in the end, but others opinions will help me see better but should I just give up on him or should I keep trying to get him to understand me better and how
I think you should try couples counseling. Maybe him hearing it from a 3rd party will help him realize how his behavior is affecting the relationship. If he’s not willing then I’d let him know ,it will be a tough conversation, that you aren’t getting what you need from the relationship and how important it is to you. I think his answers to those those things will guide you on what you need to do next. Good luck Mama
When hes involved does he make you happy?
What percentage of happy are you in the relationship and percentage of not happy?
You decide what is best for you now and in the future.
Couple’s therapy sounds like a good idea. He could also be going through things and not want to say. An unbiased outside opinion could help.
my husband had a stroke, can’t talk another a paralyzed on right side. If you don’t love him enough to wipe his ass when needed then go
He doesn’t want to…
Counseling will help.
But if he responds and says he doesn’t see it but will meet you to understand, but you constantly nag then he just might not want to.
Time needs to go by.
You might even gotten hypersensitive and he just tunes out cause he’s over it.
It is exhausting.
But get the counseling. And go from there.
You’re not compatible. You can love someone yet not be right for each other. It’s a hard thing to accept and nothing will ever make it right.
Unless he wants to, he’s not going to. You can try and try. He has to want to. Good luck lady! Be happy!
Try marriage counseling and if that’s not enough file separation until he’s more serious about communication
So you married a stranger?
I told my husband multiple times that our marriage was falling apart. I begged him to help me fix it. He never heard me. We’ve been split up for 18 months now. Our divorce was final 6 months ago. I still get “I love you” texts. If he had listened before I decided to walk away we’d still be together. I’m happier now though. Some people say you don’t know what you have until it’s gone. But if it takes me leaving for you to realize what you had, then I don’t need you
I’d try counseling first, because sorry after 4yrs he would definitely know when your upset, sounds more like he just doesn’t care.
Some guys are just like that. How did y’all date? Did you really try to get to know each other then? Did you go on dates? What did y’all do? Some guys just aren’t into all that ramantic stuff. What do y’all do together now? Do you simply enjoy each others company? Laugh and talk? I bet he knows you more than you think. Why/how did y’all meet/get together? What did you like about each other then? I could go on and on.
Sounds like you got married to soon!!
I’ve been with my guy for 26 years…I am still not sure if I like him enough to marry!
Jk…I luv him!! But it definitely took years to truly know we were meant to be!
Not to sound like a bitch, but to say you don’t know someone after 4 years of marriage, so did you not take any time to get to know each other BEFORE getting married? And lots of men don’t notice other people’s feelings. Doesn’t mean they don’t care.
If you’re having to ask this question, then it’s time.
Marriage isn’t easy it takes work, commitment, compromise and dedication. Does he treat you well otherwise? Is he mean, abusive, derogatory towards you? Does he come home every night to you or go out with his buddies does he spend all his money gambling or drinking? Start praying for him and for you to become closer to become a team to work towards each others goals and desires. Some men don’t talk! Look at his actions find his Love Language .
He’s content I guess. If you’re trying and he isn’t then he’s not interested in anything and happy with whatever it is if he’s not complaining about anything. What about yourself do you want him to know? Does he already just know and just doesn’t care? Does his uninterest mess with every day life. Sounds like you need a friend and he’s not being that for you? I honestly don’t even think counseling would really help. Maybe get a hobby and take yourself out and see if he notices. Find a friend? If you’re truly unhappy with his disinterest and contentment then I suppose asking for a divorce isn’t a bad thing because honestly the things I’ve suggested can all be done without him but it might fill your life a enough to be ok with him. If that makes any sense.
If you not happy just go. No point in crying about it everyday. Just go