How Do You Safely Co-Sleep with a Toddler and an Infant?

QUESTION:

"I’m just curious, if you co-sleep, how you sleep with a toddler and a newborn in bed with you.

My little one will be just turning 2 when the new baby arrives. Did you just transfer the older one to their own bed or keep them in bed with you & put the baby in their own bed?

**I don’t need to hear what you think of co-sleeping; we follow all of the safe seven rules."

RELATED QUESTION: My boyfriend finds it disturbing that my 6-year-old son still co-sleeps with me: Thoughts?

TOP ANSWERS (AS SELECTED BY MODERATOR):

“I did. had a mesh bed rail on both sides of the bed. I slept in the middle and each babe laid on the other sides of me. Now the baby did sleep in her crib for the first 6 hours of the night just wouldn’t go back after the first feed… but I was a single mom so it was just me and them then.”

“My 2 year old stayed in bed with me, the baby who is now 6 months is in his own bed. Works a lot better that way. Sometimes he sleeps with us but usually not till about 5-6 am when he’s up to eat and it’s only about 2 hours. I figured that with a newborn she’d get a little less mommy on one time so I decided she gets to keep bedtime with me.”

“My toddler now 4 has been in my bed since day one. My daughter now 10.5 months has been in her bed since day one. It makes it sooooo much easier that she can fall asleep on her own giving me more time with my toddler one-on-one.”

“I’ve never had our children co-sleep with us. We had a bassinet in our room each time until the girls were 4 months that they slept in. After 4 months they slept in their own room in their crib.”

“We converted my toddlers mini crib into a sidecar and it’s been working amazingly! Look up ‘sidecar DIY’ on YouTube!”

“I made a big deal about my son going into his bed so HIS new baby could be safe. The key was making the baby part of him, not just my new baby. It gave him a sense of ownership, and he moved with no issues. I always referred to the baby as his. (Can you get your baby a diaper, your baby is tired and needs some sleep, etc.) Not sure if it always works, but there was never really any sibling rivalry. If that doesn’t work, there are all sorts of bassinets that can come right up to the bed.”

“My toddler climbs into my bed in the early mornings which is about the same time I will keep my infant in bed with me… my toddler sleeps on one side of me and my infant on the other… I’m a very light sleeper (if I even go back to sleep). My husband always gets after me for having them in our bed but it won’t last forever and you gotta cherish the moments they still want your affection.”

“My oldest moved to a big boy bed before the baby came. We made a big deal about him getting a big boy bed and it was very exciting, not that the transition was easy. Good luck momma.”

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42 Likes

For my sanity and our relationship (my husband and mine) I do not co sleep. We have the crib in our room til the kids are 1 then they go to their own room. Idk how people sleep with kids lol

The newborn would be in the bassinet, until they got too big for it. You can put a toddler bed close to your bed and get your 2 year old get used to it little by little.

2 Likes

I would start now teaching the toddler to sleep in their own bed. May b easier if that bed is in ur room to start. It may not b the easiest thing to do but i would recommend starting soon and sticking with it. If u r serious about the co sleeping with the newborn then thats what i would suggest

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Absolute nonsense children should be in their own beds babies should be in a basket then a cot

5 Likes

We put toddler in same room as us and newborn in bassinet right next to mom, of dad was in bed too(hard sleeper) but if it was just me and baby then baby would be with me in bed.

It depends on if your toddler is comfortable in their own bed if not then put them on each side of you so there’s no chance of the toddler rolling over on the baby.

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I’d be getting toddler comfortable in their own bed way before baby comes, that way you don’t have both in bed. Toddlers move all over all night generally

They say it’s not a good idea to start letting your children sleep with u if your infant doesnt want to sleep in the crib just make sure the baby is swaddled comfortably they get used to it over time, thenother children should know respect that.you have your bed they have theirs. Be consistent good luck

My grandson had never slept in his own bed… He’s almost 6 …an now the fight is on to get him in his bed… SMH

Start transitioning your toddler into a big boy/girl bed but put it in your room near your bed to begin with. Do it Slowly, don’t force or punish him/her into it. My son was 3 when I had my youngest daughter and he slept with us. Both of them were breastfed :breast_feeding: (him until 2) and it was easier to co sleep esp with my daughter after a horrible emergency c section. To this day (now 5 & almost 3) they will sneak into our bed at 3am and sleep with us :joy: we don’t mind. Heck even my 13yo daughter will come sleep on my floor when the weather is bad :joy::joy:

So many stories about parents rolling over in their sleep and accidentally suffocating their baby. Please do not sleep with your children in your bed with you. They are safer in their own beds. You can put their beds in your room near yours at first. Get them used to having their own room.

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I didn’t have any of my kids sleep with me, start as you mean to go on, problems start when they get older, I have have had friends who let their kids sleep with them and it’s a total nightmare getting them out of that habit.

I have 3, I know how much easier it seems to cosleep. That being said, there are so many families out there who face tragedy, just because they didn’t realize the baby was in the wrong spot one time. Plus, it is an essential part of development to provide your toddler the security that they can individuate and sleep solo. Even if YOU follow all the rules, can you guarantee your toddler will? It sounds like its time for a cool toddler bed and a bassinet.

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The beyond sleep training group is really helpful. They have a lot of info on safely co-sleeping

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Never sleep with an infant!

I put one on each side of me, for my youngest I bought a infant divider which keeps you from rolling over on them and my oldest which was 3 went to sleep with her hand laying on my hair .lol hubby worked nights and I see no problem co sleeping with your babies beside you.

Newborn in bassinet right next to the bed.

No toddlers need to learn to sleep in there own room . Mums and dads bed is mum and dads time . Newborn in a bassnet with only them in a wrap and a blanket just under their shoulders to avoid SID your and your kids sleep come first. Also don’t feel bad if you feel like your being selfish its ok to get some you time in so you can be a better, refreshed version of you to give , a happy mum and dad means a happier life( 75% of the time ) :blush::wink:

I love just fucking love sleeping with my kids its so peaceful relaxing loving …but defs important for them to learn to sleep in their own beds too wouldnt have my bubba and toddler together how does mumma get a good nights sleep :heart: good luck