How does custody work when you move away from the other parent?

Has anyone after getting a divorce moved quite a distance away from the other parent when remarried? The distance is 21 hours. If you have, how did you set up a custody arrangement? If you have not done this, is this something you think could work with both parents working together? I am seeking for the most part personal experience with this.

35 Likes

We would travel 50/50

What country are you in? Please. It’s different in each one

Think about the child. Moving so far away isn’t a good idea.
I hope all goes well.

3 Likes

i moved an hour from my ex when we split up. and because i ‘left the state’ (from philly to nj) i was required to do all the transporting. he had to agree to “allow” me to move otherwise he would have gotten custody by default since the custody agreement happened in a different state than where i resided. my situation was different tho because i was leaving an abusive marriage and returning to live with family because i had no family or friends i could live with along with my daughter in pa.

Typically, if in US, I think the most common practice if its more than a few hours one way is to offer one parent the school year and the other parent the summer and longer school break time (ie christmas and spring break). The man I am dating now lives in MI and his ex, due to her employment, had to move across the country. She took their daughter and has her for she school year and she has to pay for the daughters transportation to her dads with in a few days of the last day of school and no more than a week before school is to resume in the fall. However he does not get her for Christmas or any other breaks unless he goes to their state. I also had an ex years ago whos ex also moved across the country, the split the transportation 50/50, but same set up as far as then whens. Myself personally have never lived more than 3 hours away from my childs other parent and we kept the alternating weekends and summer weeks just as we had when we lived in the same area.
If two parents truly have the best intrest for the child at heart, then its always possible to work it out so the child is in the best possible enviorments/ situations. However if you are the one moving away, I truly hope you have thought about the childs relationship with both you and the other parent as well as siblongs the child may have in either home. It is always hardest on the children then the parents, be prepared. Especially if the child has 2 active parents even if they arent together.

Depending where you reside you may not be able to move without consent from your ex.

6 Likes

My husband asked in the divorce that the kids could not move more than one county away then he later moved to another state. When he then asked for it to be ordered I drive half way he was basically laughed out of the court. He drove the kids and when he couldn’t their grandparents flew them up in their plane. He finally moved back after about 5-6 years.

I’m not allowed to leave the school district

1 Like

My ex moved to maine. From california. He gets the kids for summer holidays or whenever he likes for a week at a time providing it doesnt interfere with scho

21 hours! Surely there was a place to live close to him. Nah, you did that on purpose.

8 Likes

I had to either have consent from my ex to move states or go infront of the judge and ask permission. He didnt have contact with the kids for 3yrs and out of courtesy i texted him a month b4 i decided to move and he agreed to it so i didnt have to travel 3hrs just to see the judge in the county our divorce was in.

You have to request permission from the courts if there is already a custody arrangement on file. Unless you have a deadbeat. If you have a deadbeat that wont cause a fuss, you can just move and as long as he doesn’t take legal action in a certain amount of time (6 months in Texas) than the courts cannot force you to move back. Obviously if he took action after that time they would figure out arrangements. But if you have to go through the courts before moving (because he’s a stand up Dad) then good luck. They will almost never let that happen. :woman_shrugging:

Are you able to give the dad Custody and you travel every second week to visit the kids where they live ? I would feel terrible making them leave their school and friends .

You’re probably going to have to hire a mediator, unless your ex agrees to everything. Either way, you’ll have to file with the courts to change your arrangement. I can’t imagine you wouldn’t be crossing state lines (unless maybe you’re in Alaska), and that is one serious felony that you don’t want to have to deal with.

4 Likes

I do know a lot of times if the child is close to the other parent, the court will stop it from happening. In most parenting plans there is verbiage regarding moving. If it is more than an hour of way you notify the court. But each state is different. If my child was close to their father I personally wouldn’t move that far away.

2 Likes

What does your divorce papers say it is in there

I did this. My ex said ok to me moving to another state and didn’t fuss at all so we had a verbal agreement and I left. 1.5 years later he decided to use it against me to try n get his support lowered. The judge made me “move back” until our court date and it was a nightmare so whatever you work out, get it in writing.

2 Likes

Get a parenting plan and custody papers drawn up. Get child support. The child can still visit father… Father can visit child. But remember it’s the non custodial parents responsibility to see child not yours.

As long as custodial parent has a safe home for child you can move anywhere

1 Like

Check your current custody agreement. Most of the time there’s a limitation of the distance the children can be moved from the NCP. If this is the case you will have to seek court approval before moving. If you don’t their father can have you arrested for kidnapping. He’ll get automatic custody. At most you’ll get supervised visits after you served your sentence.

4 Likes