I’ve raised my stepdaughter since she was four months old. She is now 6. My husband and I fought in court because BM was on heroin really bad, and BM ended up getting every weekend supervised visits under grandmother’s supervision since SD was three years old. In September 2019 (this year, still fresh), BM died of a heroin overdose. SD went through a traumatic anxiety phase and couldn’t sleep well at all( she had these problems previously when BM would pop in and out for months at a time) grandma would lie to us and still tell us BM (her daughter) was still showing for visits so that she could still see SD on the weekends. Her therapist suggested we cut overnights at anyone’s house for the time being because she couldn’t handle the different routines & structures at bedtimes. It has worked tremendously, and my SD has done an entire 360; her anxiety level at bedtime dropped, and she was able to leave “fun” places (she has separation anxiety) without freaking out. So we still let grandma see her every other weekend (being nice since she just lost her daughter), but we did not allow any sleepovers (following two pediatric therapists advice) the visits where every other weekend from Friday 12 pm-5:30 pm, Saturday from 9/10 am-5:30 pm & Sunday 9/10-5:30pm. We even let her have her thanksgiving day from 9 am-3 pm…Grandma lives a stone throw away, so we didn’t worry too much about the dropping off and picking SD up, giving that grandma does not have a license. She only Ubered a few times or got rides a few times. Majority of the time my husband or I was doing the picking up and dropping off… anyhow grandma was very upset about us cutting the sleepovers & I tried telling her that the therapists that SD sees weekly advise that the sleepovers be cut since they are over whelming for SD (grandma lets her stay up late, eat sugar for breakfast lunch and dinner, and lets her sleep in her bed with her) I get it she’s grandma she’s suppose to spoil, but I don’t agree that it should be designated weekends with grandma because again it’s overwhelming for her and she’s correlating that with love. My SD has a brother and sister (my biological kids). I don’t see why she’d want to tear them apart! It’s been almost three months since the passing of BM, and my husband was served paperwork by Grandma after picking his daughter up from grandmas apartment. We were told by grandmas boyfriend, who served my husband the paperwork that grandma is going “crazy” and he caught her yelling at her self in her bedroom the other day (he thought she was on the phone having an argument) you can tell he felt bad serving paperwork to the BIOLOGICAL father! She wants shared custody! I couldn’t believe that she’s really that selfish over sleepovers when they are not good for SD and she has seen the improvement in her anxiety/ behavior, it just to me is very selfish! We live in the state of PA, and I was wondering, are grandparent rights hard to get? We’ve heard from her therapists & a social worker that it’s incredibly hard to get but wanted to get other options on the matter. My SD has a loving home my husband and I have always done what’s best for our children & I can’t help but jump into momma bear mode, SD has already been through so much I don’t feel it’s necessary to put her through more. Grandmas is using her as a band-aide for her deep issues; it’s very sickening to me. SD=step daughter BM=bio mom
Poor grandma, lost her daughter and now losing her granddaughter.
I don’t know the laws there but normally with therapists and doctors notes sent to the judge that they know what is going on, she still probably will not get the overnights since it is not okay for the child. I understand she just lost her daughter but that isn’t a reason to try and take her granddaughter from y’all. Especially since he is the biological father. Just keep with the day visits for now then follow the judges rules once you go to court
The judge might look into the face that the therapist says no overnight visits. Maybe have her therapist write something along those lines so you have proof
In Ohio theres no such thing as grandparents rights. Subpoena the drs and therapists that recommend this and have proof she still gets to see her and have contact consistently. It’s an awful situation but it sounds like you’re doing all the things you can and are trying to be as loving and supportive of the kid as possible.
Different states have different laws. I would consult a family attorney and see what they recommend.
I don’t see this working out for the grandmother. The child is in a happy, healthy home and overnights were stopped due to doctors advice. She still gets visitation so I’m not sure what the problem is to begin with. This woman seems like she has some emotional/ mental problems. She should see someone instead of ruining the child’s mental state.
Look at your state most no such thing as grandparents rights
Every state is different.
If a state does have Grandparents rights, they look at how much time the child has previously spent with the grandparent.
My heart breaks for grandma.
There’s no way she would get shared custody. At the most they may allow her an overnight visit but all you would have to do is present evidence from the therapist suggesting that it’s not a good idea. The father has full custody and that’s how it will stay. No judge is going to turn around and give a grandparent shared custody. She’s lucky she even has visitation to be honest with you. It sounds like though she doesn’t have court-ordered visitation and that was solely for the birth mother and she just took advantage of it? If that’s the case you can very easily stop visitation . Then she would have to go to court and argue why she should be allowed visitation and honestly it’s going to be very hard for her to get . You have to do what is healthy and right for the child and it sounds like that’s what you’re doing so no judge is going to overrule.
Lot of States don’t have grandparent rights
Depends on the state. In PA the grandparents don’t have a chance IF both parents are alive. However once one passes or the parents separate, it is a different story. I just recently went to court as my fiance’s mom was trying to take custody of our children, she’s mentally ill so we had stopped speaking because of things she’s done. But the judge told her she has absolutely no standing. May be different for you as the mother has now passed away
- The grandmother will not get shared custody without bio father agreeing, unless she can prove him and/or your home to be unfit. 2) Each state is different, however grandparents generally do not have ‘rights’ unless in extreme cases, like the death of a child. In this case, that would qualify, in NY anyway. All that would mean is that the grandparent(s) may petition the court for visitation, which would be granted if the home is safe, etc. This usually only happens if the child of the deceased is being withheld, which does not seem to be the case here. 3) A judge will likely understand this is a transition for everyone and as the therapist has suggested overnights stop for a period of time, the court should agree to that.
You havento request for a psych evaluation and also ask her therapist to vouch in court as well.
In indiana there’s no grandparents rights
So depends on your state
In WA my mom couldn’t get custody of my nephew even with proof of drug abuse in the home. It’s extremely hard for grandparents to get rights. She’s in a great home!!! Get all the Dr’s recommendations in writing.
Why cant the Grandma sleepover there every blue moon.
I really dont think you have anything to worry aboutn
You have the therapist and drs backing you up. Maybe get a lawyer to help. But, you should be fine.
Think about it from the Grandmothers point of view. She had to go thru her daughter dealing with a drug problem. There’s no telling what her daughter put her thru. She probably didn’t have alot time to be close to her and now she has passed away. The only thing she has that’s close to her daughter is her granddaughter. If the granddaughter wants to see her I don’t see why that’s a problem. She lost her daughter now she is losing her granddaughter too
I didn’t read the entire thing. Your SD is seeing a therapist. Your following the advice of the therapist. IMO a court will take the welfare of the child first. What’s best for the child, will happen. You didn’t cut visitation off. You just modified them to not include overnights, because of the PTSD and trauma the child suffered.
Her father would have full custody. A court wouldn’t mess with that, unless he was found to be unfit. You and your spouse are doing everything to protect and provide for the child. Meeting her everyday needs and emotional ones as well.
Grandparents rights are granted when being away from grands causes an emotional distress on the child. She could argue after seeing her every weekend for 3 years that the child should still get those visits.
I think you need to be more considerate of the grandma though… she lost her daughter and feels she is losing her granddaughter too. She also loves your daughter. Don’t go into this with the intention of taking all rights from her. Try to work it out with her, maybe have her come speak the the therapist too. I think there is a way to solve this without taking someone else out of the childs life.