If you actually read all this, thank you, and I’m sorry if it makes no sense my mind is kind of everywhere… This is going to be a long one sort of… Okay, my husband and I have been together for six years, we have a three-year-old little girl and a 17-month-old boy. I have NO family; he has a TON. We live a quarter mile down the road from his parents. Both of my children live with his parents because when my son was five weeks old, he had to bruise on his chest, DCS bullied me. Basically, they told me all kinds of things that weren’t true, but I didn’t know any better, so we went to court and willingly gave custody to his mother. Nothing was ever founded of the bruising. I took a lie detector test and passed, so did my husband. I am still with my children from the moment they wake up until they fall asleep, EVERY SINGLE DAY. Now, mine and my husband’s relationship has slowly fallen apart over the years. We are EXTREMELY toxic to one another. He is an alcoholic and quite frankly a mama’s boy. He’s perfectly content having nothing in life and our children living with his mom forever. I, on the other hand, am not okay with that. He is extremely emotionally and verbally abusive. He has a lot of anger issues…I’m planning to leave my husband in the next two months. I obviously will not be able to take my children with me. His mother is extremely manipulative. Shes used my children against me more than once to get me to stay with my husband. How likely do you all think it is that I will at least get visitation with my children? Am I in the wrong for leaving? Should I stay just so my children won’t have to go through all of this? I’ve been with my husband since I was 17 years old. I’ve never known anything other than the life we’ve built. I’m so nervous and scared, but I also think it’s something I have to do… Just looking for advice, people with Similar experiences, anything. If you’ve made it this far, thank you so much for reading.
Depends I’d you willingly signed permanent custody or temporary
You need to get a lawyer(family) one and discuss what it would take to get custody or 50/50 or court order visitation. You shouldn’t be forced to be with someone you’re unhappy with. And personally I would get ahold of lawyer before leaving so you can still see your kids in the meantime just keep it on the DL
As long as you didn’t sign over your rights it shouldn’t be to hard as long as you have your life in order. Own place and a stable job are the main things. After you get custody back, divorce papers can follow. Unless your attorney thinks a divorce before hand would be a better idea.
Call your local legal aide office. They do a sliding scale and will represent you for free or close to it. I’ll pray for you. If he mistreats you he will most likely mistreat your children eventually. I am having a hard time wrapping my head around you giving your kids up in the first place to be completely honest!
Phone a lawyer and see what you can do to get your rights back. Document everything. Video, voice of your husband being abusive. Also if your mil gets nasty do the same with her. Write down dates, times ext. Keep everything on the dl until you have evadience and again have legal advice.
Get a lawyer as long as you just signed temp custody it should be pretty easy to get them back as long as you have a stable living place with the kids and income to provide for them
For one I would keep fighting for you’re kids back. Fight even harder actually. Say being out of that toxic situation is better for everyone. I couldn’t imagine only getting visitation of my children. That is a long time for your kids to be out of your custody for only a bruise. Have you done everything they have asked of you? I personally would have them back before I did anything else
Definitely seek legal advice, once out of the toxic environment you can apply for full custody back and do every thing they require. As I feel you will because it’s obvious you love your babies and want the best for them and yourself!!!
Best of luck sweetie, my prayers will be with you
It depends. If you’re leaving and have a good job and can provide a good life for them, then that will certainly work in your favor. Courts would rather the kids be with the parents. But if you’re leaving just to go stay with a friend or some such, and you cant provide or put a roof over their heads, then visitation is probably the best you could hope for. How do you lose custody over a bruise?
First step lawyer, explain much detail you can, they will help you and guide you.
Contact a lawyer and get yourself set up outside of the toxic relationship. File for custody and prove to DCS your able to care for them
Document everything. Record his verbal abuse take pictures. Get yourself in a safe environment and file for custody. Have proof of everything.
1st off go to the courts (most have free/ low cost legal aid) & find out what YOU need to do to get them back! Explain your situation they will help you! Do exactly what they tell you, do it as close to the beginning of the time frame. File for divorce you do NOT need him or his mom. Document everything! Text, emails, social media. Him his parents who they allow around your children. It is all admissible in court. It may be a long road but look how your hubby turned out is that what you want for your child?
Depends, did you relinquish your rights and she adopted them? If so, probably not. Either way, you need a lawyer. You need to be working on getting the kids back ASAP, before you leave him get started. Talk to a lawyer now and figure out what your plan is
What ever happened for inlaws to get custody of kids must have been serious…you need to get your kids back before going further…
Your first mistake is you gave custody to his parents! If you didn’t harm your children never stop fighting for them! I would try to get on your feet and take little steps to getting them back! I don’t know the whole story just what you told me. You are their mother so I can’t see them withholding visitation unless more went on.
This happened when your son was 5 weeks old, who is now 17 months old? And now you want custody of your kids back?
doesn’t make any sense why you would willingly give up custody if you wanted your kids and didn’t abuse them… I fought CPS when they tried to lie and make shit up and took them to court they got whiff of that I had proof of their lies court was dropped and they left me alone… get a lawyer… get custody. get the heck out of there
And this is something that you’re going to need an attorney for. Why does his mom have custody of both children? It sounds like you willingly signed both children over which I don’t understand . One little bruise and passing lie detector test and no other signs of neglect or abuse would not constitute children services removing both children from your custody. Not even one. The fact that you’re asking if you should even take your children is alarming