How hard is it to gain full custody of a child?

My boyfriend and I have been together for two years now and will have our first child together in 2 months. His baby mamma has been very bitter and neglectful from the start. She has two kids from a prior relationship that she also neglects. He left her before they found out she was pregnant but took her back to make it work for their kid but couldn’t handle it. When he left her, she went crazy physically attacking him multiple times in front of the kids. When we got together, she went off the handle calling 50+ times a day screaming and threatening us and even held his son from him twice. He was granted an emergency court hearing, and they gave her certain days she can have their son. We can sometimes go 5-6 weeks before hearing anything from her, and when she does have him he isn’t bathed, fed properly, made to brush his teeth, wear proper clothes for the weather meaning no hats or coats and always comes homesick, his nails are always long and dirty when he comes back from her house. They all share a bed with her in a house with five other people. She is always meeting men online and bringing them around the kids. She even sends her other kids here for weeks on occasions and does not text or call about the other kids while they are here. Children and youth have been involved. There are many other things that she has done not to us but to the kids. Refused to give them medicine prescribed by the dr, neglecting to take them to the dr, sending their son home with very bad diaper rashes, the list goes on and on. And EVERYTHING is documented. So my question is how hard it would be to get full custody, taking a kid from his mother? And would the court take into consideration all the police reports from her attacking him, the emergency session hearing, children and youth being involved, her sending her other kids here and that he and I have a child together?


Just go for it you got nothing to lose and everything to gain


Well sounds like you guys have a pretty good case to get full custody.


Next time she does it get her for abandonment. Then it shouldn’t be a issue.


File for an order of protection for the child against the mother, get that granted and you will have a really good chance at limiting her to supervised visits only.


DOCUMENTATION. That is going to be your nail in the coffin. Otherwise it’s gonna be a long and bitter fight and will be mostly aimed in favor of her despite the crazy. Document everything. Take mounds of pictures of the kids condition. Write down the times and dates you have any of the kids and for how long. Also how long she goes without making contact. Try to get a picture of the living situation at her home. Record (if your state allows it) phone conversations with her and save and print out text messages and bring them to court. Proving actual abandonment is very hard. DOCUMENT EVERYTHING. I would know. I have some physical/legal custody of my daughter.

Sounds like you wouldn’t have a hard time


You need a good lawyer. Document dates times everything. Take pictures too. Take parenting classes for yourself. Looks good in court.


I really hate those terms “baby mama” and “baby daddy” . Whatever happened to calling them “the ex”?


I don’t know what state you are in, but in some states it is almost impossible to take kids away from the mothers. I had a friend in Indiana who tried extremely hard to get custody and couldn’t. The mother was a drug addict. He stayed vigilant and always did the right thing for the girls. Now the girls are grown and the mother is out of the scene. If anything, stay strong and do what you can for the children, regardless of the outcome.


You can go to the library of your local court house …
And …file yourself without an attorney.
Go to the library in the courthouse … ask for the custody filing binder…
It will walk you step by step through the paperwork
You’ll fill out the paperwork…
Pay a filing fee…
See a judge that day…
And if you can prove that the child’s welfare’s in danger
They’ll grant you temp full custody… the same day you file…

A court order will be written for you …

Until …a hearing can be scheduled between both parties for a perm custody arrangement …
and your next hearing will be a mediation hearing…
If both parties can’t agree on custody… you will then go to trail.


It is very possible so don’t give up… took me 4 years of being very vigalent, documenting everything, getting evidence, court dates, the egg donor being a great actress and them not even listening to me for a while,BUT I kept on it and didn’t give up finally proving her the crackhead she is… have had full custody for almost 3 years now🙌


I would get advice from a lawyer free consultation( every state has different laws ) then from there get the paper work to file. Do your research. Also, take a journal of phone calls dates and times things that are important. Good luck.

not to rock the boat as not my business but the woman you are talking about could possibly be in a bad way really struggling with things and it’s all got too much and begging for help … is there any way you could all come together yourselves and work out what’s best for all children and parents involved … does she have any help her side like social workers or someone from child protection team just going through court is a long process and maybe distressing for the kids … if you feel it is what needs to be done for the health and safety of the kids then obviously that’s what needs to happen… Good Luck with what you and your partner decide to do

Take all your evidence to court. At the very least, visitation should be limited to supervised.

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It took me an my husband almost 7 years to gain custody. Of his 2 with very similar circumstances very hard to take custody from a mom. Key thi gs that helped us were doctor,dentist,an schools plus we kept a calander that i wrote everything dwn that happened that day. Helps to refresh your memory when you are in court good luck

What do the kids want? Because it’s not about you.


He sounds like shit, you better be careful.

It ia very hard in Louisiana to take a child from the mother BUT it sounds lik w you have a good case.I only know this because I went thru this with my step daughter

Take pictures of the child before he goes to her and when u get him back then take it to the lawyer or even make a call to CPS if u think the kids are in danger