I just got out of the hospital Weds afternoon…Weds I got a night to rest (if you call it that up all night w baby). Thursday, all Daddies family came over, eight people total from noon to about 8 or 9 pm. I know it’s his right as Dad to enjoy the baby with his family, so I didn’t say anything at all, but I was hurting very badly and sore and exhausted. Friday, we did doctor visits and all her paperwork and errands I again am overdoing it very sore and busted a stitch. Now today, he wants to have a BBQ with his family, and I just want to hide in my room at this point. I don’t want to be rude, but with COVID around I didn’t want so much exposure so soon. I wanted to be able to rest and bond with baby and my own little family as Daddy goes back to work Monday, and we won’t see him much. I don’t want to sound selfish, but I don’t want to share them right now. Its too soon. I’m too sore. I will inevitably be left to clean all the mess too. If I say no, though, I’m rude bc it’s his baby too. Advice? Is this normal? I have no family locally, so I wouldn’t know.
Wow that is a lot going on for a brand new momma and baby despite all of this Covid mess. I would definitely tell him it’s too much and you need to to heal, rest, and most importantly bond with your baby. I would also be very uneasy about having so many people around a baby with no immune system at this time. Good luck momma!
This is the time to be selfish. That is your baby. The Dad is not helping you out very much. You’re overdoing it-your words. You busted a stitch. You need to bond w the baby. Feed & take care of yourself too. We are under a pandemic. Wait til your 6 wk follow up w your OB. To have anymore visitors
Wow!! I don’t know how anyone would even take anyone up on having a cookout when they just had a baby. I think the whole family is rude to be honest along with your husband thinking it’s okay. The covid alone would make me hang a sign on my door no visitors. I could see maybe his parents coming by to see the baby for a hour or so a few days after your settled in but the way they stay was really over doing it
You could also take advantage and relax and let the family take care of everything. Sit back, relax, nap if you want.
Why are you afraid to speak up? You are feeling all kinds of things that are completely normal for a new mom. All of that activity IS too much. If your baby’s dad does not know or understand that, he needs to be told. He seems to not be putting his baby and mother of his child as the priority. There is plenty of time to celebrate; it doesn’t all have to be done in the first couple of days after Baby is born. It doesn’t sound like the father of your baby is very helpful or supportive either. That would DRIVE me nuts, but definitely speak up. I hope you are safe; it’s hard to truly know this from a few things in particular in your post. I don’t want to jump to conclusions though. Take care.
I agree with what everyone is saying, my grandson was born in December My Family didnt meet him or see him until July 11th and that was briefly at the Cemetery, they live with me and even I gave them space and only watched the baby for her to nap or take a Shower… No BBQs or house visits, Only my Daughter and One of my cousins and it was only because they were bringing me something. You need to Rest, Bond and Heal… And they should be understanding.
Sounds like you are scared to use your voice. (In pain and said nothing). The longer you let it continue the worse it will be for you. Him running over you, didn’t just start. Now you have a daughter to protect, stand up and do it!
They are very inconsiderate. You should be able to relax. Especially wth Covid. I think you need to tell him how you feel. Good luck! And good health!
There is a freaking pandemic. How dare they think you are rude for protecting yourself and your baby. Please put your foot down and don’t allow this to happen.
First of all congratulations! Your full-on mama bear mode, is in full working order. Listen to your gut and that still small voice. What you tolerate will reveal how you will ultimately be treated. Never feel guilty for protecting yourself and your cubs! If ever a time a mother should get a pass, are the week’s after bringing a human into the world, especially during a pandemic!
Super rude and selfish of him to not care how you feel! And Shane in his family for being so intrusive!
Tell him how you feel. I waited until all my kids had thier second round of vaccines as babies have no immune system to start with… now my youngest… who is 2 months old… is special needs and high risk for upper respiratory problems so she will be different… shes yet to go out more than just drs offices and I make the grandparents come to her…but shes ln oxygen until her ljngs are strong enough to function on thier own… she’s almost there but I dont see the point in risking her health…
My mom and grandma already seen my boy before coming out hospital so they where thier for help, but think was about a month when let others come around
The health and well being of the baby and you must come first!
I think it’s rude of his family . You need baby bonding time … and they should know better …
If it were me I would use the virus as an excuse to not have visitors until you are ready and comfortable.
Exactly what you just wrote say that to him… in a calm way… communication about how you feel and what you NEED can go a long way.
If you never say anything he won’t know how you feel & I’m pretty sure he wants what’s best for you and the baby
Set boundaries now or be very sorry later