How Many Times a Night Should You Check on a 1-Year-Old? Am I Checking Too Much?

QUESTION:

"How many times a night do you check on your one-year-olds? I’m currently eight months pregnant, so I’m constantly getting up to pee, and every single time I do, I have to go into my daughter’s room, put my hand on her to make sure she’s breathing, and cover her up again.

One night, I actually woke her up doing that. Which made me think… am I checking on her too much?

I’ve tried to just go pee and then go back to sleep, but I literally lay there and lay there and think about how horrible I would feel if she stopped breathing, and I didn’t check on her that time.

So I get up and go check on her, then I can fall back asleep. Is this PPA? PPD? Or maybe prenatal depression, or prenatal anxiety? Do any of you do the same thing? Or am I really checking on her too much?"

RELATED QUESTION: Is it normal for my newborn to sleep so much?

TOP ANSWERS (AS SELECTED BY MODERATOR):

“My son just turned 4 and his bed is still up against mine… terrible anxiety if he’s not.”

“Never wrong to check on them. If I’m passing their room I’m always checking. I still check on my 5-year-old and my 2-year-old while they sleep. It’s a mother thing; I don’t think we’ll ever stop checking on them.”

“Oldest is 3, we left a baby camera in his room, so when I get up with baby brother (3 months and in our room still), I check the camera before I go back to sleep. I only go in if he needs to be covered back up, just so I don’t wake him. It’s a mama instinct to make sure all your babies are sleeping well.”

“My daughter will be 2 in December and I still check on her every single time I get up in the middle of the night (usually 2 or 3 times). It just helps me feel better and gives me peace of mind. I think it’s okay to check on them no matter the age, as long as you’re being gentle and quiet enough not to wake them.”

“Sounds like this might be anxiety. At 12 months, they are outside of the highest risk of SIDS. I would talk to your doctor about your anxiety. It can get much worse after baby is born so better to start treating it now.”

“I only check on him before I got to bed and when he wakes me up (which has been rare since he was a baby, I have a very good sleeper). However, I’ve never been much of an anxious parent (eating solids never stressed me out, for example). I think as long as you’re not making yourself miserable by getting up (considering you’re up anyway) there’s no problem! Just make sure mama is getting her rest where she can too.”

“My daughter is 3 1/2 and I still go in her room and check on her whenever I get up in the middle of the night. It’s a mom thing.”

“I still get anxiety about this sometimes and my daughter turns 4 next month. If it gives you peace of mind get a good camera baby monitor… might help a bit. If I wake up from a bad dream I either have to stop myself from checking on her or I do check on her and it wakes her up at least half the time and I regret it.”

“My daughter is almost 5 and I still check on her multiple times during the night lol; so does her dad if he gets up for anything.”

“It definitely happened with my first, not so much my second but sometimes I do still get up just to check on them both! But maybe a monitor will help, with a baby coming you will want to keep her on her schedule as much as possible.”

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READ ALL ANSWERS BELOW:

33 Likes

Every single time I wake up. (I’m a restless sleeper)

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My son is 8 now but I probably checked on him whenever I woke up until he was 4 or 5.

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I feel your anxiety and the need to do that. We have an audio and video monitor on our daughter and when I feel that way I simply check

I’m still afraid of SIDS my munchkin is 11 months old. But I use my baby video monitor… I keep it it playing on my tablet screen so when ever I wake up I look at it for a moment see her twitch or breathing and can fall back asleep.

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I have a video monitor that I use to check on her (also pregnant so up every hour). But I check to make sure she’s moving/breathing with the monitor

My daughter is 3 1/2 and I still go in her room and check on her whenever I get up in the middle of the night. It’s a mom thing :heart::heart::heart:

2 Likes

My daughter will be 2 in December and I still check on her every single time I get up in the middle of the night(usually 2 or 3 times). It just helps me feel better and gives me a peace of mind. I think it’s okay to check on them no matter the age, as long as you’re being gentle and quiet enough not to wake them.

2 Likes

It definitely happened with my first, not so much my second but sometimes I do still get up just to check on them both! But maybe a monitor will help, with a baby coming you will want to keep her on her schedule as mush as possible.

I have a video monitor. I check it before I go to sleep, and sometimes when I get up to pee. Twice a night at most. I do not enter his room unless he’s awake. I’m not a glutton for punishment. lol
Try an owlet sock thing that tells you their body temp and heart rate. It’s expensive, and I can’t speak to its reliability, but it has to be better than going in and checking your child is breathing 3-5 times a night. I would also get yourself checked for PPA, because, while I can see checking baby’s position/making sure they are asleep/warm enough, checking they are breathing after 4 or 5 months is a lot. If they can roll over, it’s not all that necessary. When the new baby comes you’re gonna need that extra 30 seconds of sleep, fr. I’d definitely try to figure it out now. Maybe that’s just me, though. :woman_shrugging:t3:

I feel like a complete nutcase because During my pregnancy with my now 1 yr old i would check on my then 9 yr old every time I got up. I have always been like that though. He goes to bed before me so when I finally go to bed and if and when I get up at night I check on him. My sister has lost 2 little ones due to sids and the other passed before he was born and even though he is now 11 I still check on him all the time, I have severe anxiety about it. My 1 year old still nurses multiple times at night so I dont worry much about her but I’m sure once she stops and is in her own bed in her own room ill check on them both a bunch. Your doing great momma. Its anxiety just don’t let it get the best of you.

I only check on him before I got to bed and when he wakes me up (which has been rare since he was a baby, I have a very good sleeper). However, I’ve never been much of a anxious parent (eating solids never stressed me out, for example).

I think as long as you’re not making yourself miserable by getting up (considering you’re up anyway) there’s no problem! Just make sure mama is getting her rest where she can too :heart:

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Unless they cry out or obviously need something, none

I did that with my first. Dont really do that with my second. But they have a camera in their room that I can check

I will admit you never stop checking on them. My oldest is 17 and is till open his door a check about 2 times a night. About a year was when I started just opening the door and listening.

My oldest is 3 and i still check on him everytime i wake up to pee and of course my youngest is 3 weeks so hes still in a bassinet by my bed at night.

My son will be 10 on Christmas, I still check on him. Not as much as when he was a baby but a few times a night.

my daughter is 7 and i stil check on her when I get up to pee lol

My son just turned 4 and his bed is still up against mine… terrible anxiety if hes not

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Sounds like this might be anxiety. At 12 months, they are outside of the highest risk of sids. I would talk to your doctor about your anxiety. It can get much worse after baby is born so better to start treating it now.

1 Like