My daughter has a 2-month old. She lives with us. The baby daddy and she broke up about a week ago. Before that, the baby daddy stayed with them at our house during the week, and then on the weekends, the three of them went to his parent’s house to stay because he still lives at his parent’s house. I am wondering about what parenting time agreements have worked for others with an infant. The baby has never been away from her momma overnight.
Infants shouldn’t be away from their mother over night as long as the mother is fit. Which is sounds like she is. Weekend hours, but no over nights yet. If you think its gonna get nasty, don’t even try to arrange something on your own… just get an attorney.
I went through a divorce with a 2 yr old and a 2 month old. Since I was NOT breastfeeding i was told baby was able to go for long visits so like a weekend/week however we did the visitations.
Get a court order honestly its the best way to go. Here’s why if there’s no custody order in place n he takes the infant he doesn’t have to give the baby back until a judge says so and cops consider it a civil matter.
If she is bottle fed be prepared that they could possibly give overnight visits. Deal with it through courts.
Let your daughter handle it.
When I was with my ex… His child’s mom started letting us keep his son over night at around 2 months old. If he is an active father, and there is no reason for him not to get his child… then I would allow the baby to go a couple of days a week with over night stays.
No over nights tell at least one period
The state and county should have guidelines for that
A two month shouldn’t be away from a mother overnight. Ever. Avoid courts at all costs until it becomes necessary
Make sure you get a court order before she is ever given to him without the mother present. No matter how good the relationship is (or isn’t). Things can change in an instant and without an agreement through the court he can take her and not give her back.
Bit young to be away from mum .
The father has just as much of a right to be with his child as the mother does… amazed at how many people on here are saying otherwise.unless he is an unfit father why shouldn’t he see his own child?
If he is a good father and hasn’t done anything wrong to the BABY then he has every right to have his child on weekends despite it being an Infant. I can’t stand all these comments saying no overnight until the baby is 1 and over. Thats just silly. He is just as much a part of that baby as your daughter and shouldn’t have to wait for a year to have his child overnight. It’s time for the two of them to grow up and make a parenting plan with each other. Grandparents need to stay out of it. They are the parents. Encourage her to allow the father his weekends. She can get some much needed rest and he can get some much needed bonding. It will benefit that child in the long run if the father is supported in forming attachments and bonds with his daughter. Children aren’t property and dads are just as capable of taking care of children as mothers. And unless they were married at the time of the child’s birth he can’t take off and refuse to give her back. That only applies to married couples with children. She is considered to be the custodial parent until court orders otherwise. She needs to trust the man she had a baby with and not let her feelings about their relationship and breakup taint th relationship he needs with his daughter and she needs with her dad.
My ex & I split up before baby was born, he saw her 3 days a week, & then we gradually built overnights, at about 6 months we did one overnight, then when she’d settled we moved to 2 about a month later. She’s now 11 months and is happy as ever. She’s excited when he picks her up.
We did go back to one night at one point because she started getting unsettled.
We played it at her pace always. But we have a relatively good co-parenting relationship.
Get mediation cert if he doesn’t respond or agrees then file in the court a baby this young they will only give him 2hr visits
Where I am if the baby is formula fed and the father has already been with the child overnight hence this case where they lived together pretty much; they can have 1 overnight a week and 3 prolonged visits during the week but the baby is never gone from the mother for a full 24 hours. It’s meant to give mom a break and both parents share the burden of the infant regularly
Typical plans are one parent is custodial and the other gets every other weekend, but there are huge variations. People who live really close sometimes do 50/50 with one week on and one week off. Others do 3-4 days with each parent at a time. She and her child’s father need to sit down and discuss what they want out of a custody agreement. Whatever they decide on needs to be taken to court and put in a court ordered child custody agreement.
If baby is bottle fed theres no reason the father cant do overnights
Please consider what is best for your grandchild and ignore the suggestions that try to exclude the father as he has just as much right to parent his child as does your daughter. If you don’t you will likely end up in an ugly court battle and many courts do not look favorably on parents who alienate their children from the other parent.
There is no reason to not allow overnights unless the child would be in danger. I can’t stand that “baby shouldn’t or can’t be away from mom”. Fuck that. Dad is just as important.
Depends on your states laws and regulations.
If your not breast feeding be prepared for him to get overnight visits. And if he’s living with his parents he even has help. That’s a good thing. I thinks dads time is as important as moms time.
One overnight at a time, leading up to 50/50. It is more than possible at that age. It will likely be harder on mom to be away from baby than for baby to be away from mom, considering the dad is also familiar to baby.
He has just as much right as she does. My ex kept my son. He was amazing with him.
It depends on the state your in as to how the parenting time guidelines will be but in the state of Indiana if they are not married then she is the sole custodial of said child until the courts determine different wich means he can’t take off with said child but if he has been there since birth and they pretty much lived together then there should be no reason to exclude the father this is why so many dads just give up and walk away I watched my husband get lied on and drug threw the mud trying to be a good father and its truly heartbreaking I couldn’t imagine not letting my daughters be with their dad as long as he knows how to take care of the baby theres really no reason to keep him away and especially this 1 year crap the baby needs to be able to bond with him as much as her she needs to feel safe and secure with them both it will be so much better for the child to have their father if he is a good dad or at least trying to be
Don’t do anything until he files for visitation. If he intends on being an active part of baby’s life he will show it. Otherwise he’ll probably abuse the situation. Everything needs to be court ordered.
My son went with his father on weekends since he was a baby, he was formula fed, and it was honestly amazing. He loved being around his dad and even though it was a transition, it really wasnt a difficult one, it gave me time as a mother to get a break and do what needed to be done, and gave his father and him some good time to bond. As long as hes good with the child, and willing to be a good coparent for the child, the plan shouldnt be a problem.
My son didn’t go stay with his dad till he was about 6 months old. At that point he was with his dad for 3 nights, he went Thursday afternoon and then came home Sunday morning. Since then we have gradually added more time. My son will be 2 next month and he goes with his dad 6 days now. But the time from newborn to 6 months his dad would drive an hour to come see him maybe twice a week for a few hours.
Unless dad is unfit he has just as much right. If baby is breastfed mom can pump.
She needs to go to court and get a CO in place. A newborn should get see both parents 50/50. A newborn needs both parents. Dads should get overnights it shouldnt matter how old the child is.
My ex and I split up when our kids were 2 and 6 months old, we share our 2 year old 50/50. The baby has always been breastfed, went to work with me Monday-Friday etc so after awhile he just started coming to pick her up later in the afternoon from my job to give me a few hours to work alone and then after work I’d go pick her up. He would do this 2-3 days a week and as time went on she stayed longer. She’s almost one now and is staying 1-2 nights a week during the days he has our oldest
If they both want 50 50 that’s what’s best for child.
I never went through the court we were civil and just made our own arrangements. My ex is a wonderful dad he gets the kids even as infants as many days/ nights as he wants and I get them when I want we both work so we went around our work schedules if we lived together he would still get up and feed baby at night so y not continue doing it at his own place
Start out slow. Let the dad have the baby by himself for say an hr or so. It’ll get her used to not being with baby 24/7. Then up it to 3 hrs. Etc. Not only will it get her used to being awsy from baby, it’ll give dad a chance to ease into not having mom around.
If they are on good terms, they should be sitting down and discussing this. Once an agreement is set, which should also include that neither parent can leave the state with child without the other’s permission, etc., set up a court date and get it written down on paper. That way BOTH parents are protected and neither of them can say he said/she said.
If they can not agree to anything, set up a mediation.
Maybe that’s something you two families can negotiate, both parents thankfully with grandparents sounds ideal for this situation.
Best of luck
Even if the baby is breastfed, no reason why she can’t pump and deliver or just let the dad give formula. If she denies him any time with the baby, it’ll look bad on her in court. Because they won’t allow breastfeeding to be an excuse when formula is an option as well.
The baby has two parents. They both deserve equal time with their child unless there is abuse/alcoholism/drug addiction (by either parent). 50/50 is only right and fair.
I think the dad should get the baby on the weekends but still be active in the babies life during the week. And while the baby is with dad mom should stop by and see the baby daily. That way the baby sees both parents everyday… When I broke up with my ex he stopped by during the week to see the baby and on the weekends he took the baby for one night. So the baby never went a full day without seeing me.
Court should definitely be involved. The father has the same rights as the mother.
Jessica some of these answers
You should always try and keep the court out of it!! When you go to meditation they want you to communicate and work out a plan on your own! Most times if you can work out a plan you don’t see the judge anymore! If you gotta see the judge she will choose for you and most of the time it’s for the father now days I’ve been In the courts for 3 years now and nothing has changed
Hopefully they can do what’s BEST FOR THE BABY…
yes ideally, 50/50 is “fair” but not always the best option for a new baby (or what may work for one baby, won’t work for another)
My first would gag and almost instantly throw up if you tried any bottle or pacifier, never wanted to chew on toys or put things in her mouth, refused regular food until around 15 months, and was up every 2 hours on the dot for 2 years to nurse at night… The ONLY way to eat was breastfeeding… The ONLY thing to ever calm her down was breastfeeding literally nothing else worked
And while we haven’t been in a situation of sliptting up, I still know for a fact that my husband would not have put his baby thru that type of distress being away from the only food/ source of comfort she had just to “be fair”
There are plenty of ways for others to bond and spend time with babies… and as they get older, the less dependant they are on their primary caregiver
Your daughter is the mother let her and the babies dad let them handle things
I wouldnt do a thing without a custody order. It sucks for the other parent, but it is for the best. Otherwise either parent can keep the baby until you go to court, by then in most cases residency will be established for the parent who has kept the baby and the other parent just gets visitation.
In the meantime you should allow him to come over for visitation
The father has a right to spend time with said child, they must work something out. Is baby bf? That would make a difference. If not then they can do 3 and 4 days every other week. Get it in writing!
Baby needs to bond with both parents. The sooner you start 50/50, the better. Babybwont know any different and will be set in routine for when they start sports/scholl etc etc
Mom and dad need to figure that out themselves and if they can’t then they need to go to court. No offense but it’s between them and then only, not grandma
Stay out of it. Let them figure it out.
She could be just asking for her daughter. Geez. I agree it needs to be between the parents. But she could be asking for her daughter who asked her. Ever thought about that. If they are still talking to each other i would advise her to have a sit down talk with him and come up with a plan. And have it in writing. If not, then take it to court.
Personally I went through a similar situation except my daughter was already 14 months but I’d look at how the father is with his child, does he know how to properly care for your grandchild? Does he know how to handle an infant on his own? Including feeding and changing the basics of a baby? If he’s more than capable of taking care of his daughter without the mothers assistance or anyone elses then maybe have them write down a proper schedule for visitation. Just my advice from my experience hope your daughter and the father figures out something that works for your grandbaby and them!
My stepdaughter who is now 13 stays with us one week and then mum the following so for example this Monday to the following Monday she with us and then she goes back to her mums next Monday so she does one week with each parent which I think is very fair on both parents getting that time with there child and then on special occasions like mums bday the child is with mum the night before till next day and then vis-a-versa and on the child’s bday he/she spends one year waking up with mum the following waking up at dads and alternate it every year same with Christmas/new year it’s worked very well for us and both parents then are fully involved in child’s life hope it works out for them xx
Well as long as both parents are capable of taking care of the child, it should be as close to 50/50 as possible. Everyone needs to sit down, figure out everyone’s school/work/ other activities schedual. And just figure out what would work best.
Make sure your daughter puts up custody in order for herself full custody of your child I don’t care if he’s married or not just go down there and do those papers cuz guess what evil comes out as evil does
I’m currently going through this with my nearly 4 yo and 10 month old. I agreed to 4yo staying 2 nights a fortnight but no overnights for 10 month old yet until she is atleast 1. The father agreed to this. I spoke to a lawyer to be on safe side and she told me that what I’m doing is great and alot of judges won’t agree for under 2 to stay away from mum unless a good reason.
His baby just as much as hers…it may be hard for her to be away from baby once in a while but she made the baby WITH him…unless she’s nursing and can’t pump there’s no reason for dad not to have his fair time
If shes breastfeeding I would suggest just letting him come over to see the baby and spend time. If the baby is just bottle fed and hes a good dad they need to come up with a plan that ensures they both get equal time with the baby.
At that age, the baby shouldn’t be away from mom. I’m pretty sure (at least in my state) the dads would only get a few hours during his days and the infant returns home until they’re older. (Like 2ish!)
Leave up to the judge. You can also probably google the recommended amounts… my cousins ex insisted on letting baby daddy have the baby overnight twice a week and it was so hard on the baby he never would eat or sleep for his dad.
In my state the dad gets 2hour visits 3x a week with the baby at moms with mom there especially if breastfeeding
We did it immediately but we were also together for 11 years with no father issues
If she is breastfeeding then primary time should be with mom. If not then there is no reason why they can’t do 50/50. Both parents can bottle feed baby and look after them.
a child isn’t aloud sleepovers until they are 10, they are eligible for certain rimes during the week to spend time with the child.
My daughters father and I split up when she was 3 months old and we shared her 50/50. So every other night she was with dad at his place. It worked really well. We have never had to take things before a judge and she will be 5 in a couple weeks. He has her on the weekends now and will take her whenever he has extra time and can
I say let them figure it out, see if its doable on your end…but let them try to make it work
i literally hate the baby daddy baby mama stuff just call him the childs father . in bucks county most get everyother weekend and a night a week
If it goes through mediation then they set out a visiting plan to work with everyone’s needs. especially the baby
Imo, if the baby is breastfeeding he/she shouldn’t be away from the mom. If she stopped breastfeeding then there’s no real reason, besides tradition, for the baby to not do 50/50
50/50 they both need equal time to bond with and grow a relationship with their child, especially if they are no longer together. The earlier in the child’s life its established the better it will be for the child.
2hr visits for 3x a week
50/50 unless there is a reason why he couldn’t have baby that much. Does Mom work? Does Dad work? Who is the primary caregiver?
It should be none ot your business.
She’s probably too young rn
If babes is breastfeeding it would obviously be harder to have dad have babe overnight but if baby is bottle-fed in my honest opinion it should be 50/50 unless of course the baby was im danger etc dads are just as capable of raising their children…
If the mom is breastfeeding then I would allow one overnight a week where she pumps or something. If not then 50/50. Do every other week baby is with dad. Or do weekends to start so you don’t overwhelm baby.
it should be up to the parents. I guarantee that she knows more about his capabilities as a father than you do, just let them work it out
50/50 dad has exactly the same rights as the mother.
I didnt let sleep over till my baby was 11 months we broke up when my baby was 2 months as well
50/50 is what a judge would assign. I’ve been through it with 2 different ex husbands. Doesn’t matter if they’re a couple days old, the dad is the parents as well and that’s how the judges see it. Unless breastfeeding exclusively and even then they should pump milk for the visits from what I’ve seen.
Dad came to visit at my home during evening and then i stayed at his on weekends. Then when son was a year we split custody. The older he got dad would take him a few hours without me. But after a year we did over nights without me there. I want to say about 8 months we did one and gradually built up to 50/50
Unless the baby is strictly breastfed it should be 50/50 until the baby reaches school age. The only reason it shouldn’t be 50/50 is if dad posed a threat to the child.
Definitely fight for full custody untold baby is older 3/4 months at least baby’s are still very dependent on their mothers at this age ! Make sure you have clear documentation about doctor/ medical care is all done by mom unless a medical emergency happens where mom isn’t available! Request that all physical need are met ! Have that in writing diaper changes minimum every two hours have diaper checks every 20/30 mins also have it written at all babies belonging sent with her are all returned with child very important! Their is so much to get written up at this age the key is to have a very detailed parenting plan written up and ready when you go to the hearing with every world and request written up the way you need it to be also it never hurts to do to draw up to different parenting plans … one with everything you are wanting second with dad having more visitations ect that way you can bargain with the judge ect the key is to get your parenting plan signed by the judge with your wording not the opposing party you would be 100 percent surprised what simple wording can do in a parenting plan be very specific!!!
For over nights, Bub should be at least 6 months old, not breast feeding, and father knows routine.
If the father is good enough to take care of the baby while they are together, hes good enough to take care of baby now that they are not.
This is somthing the mother and father have to figure out. If they can not they can have a plan set up for them through the courts. This is not a grand parent issue.
Def consult an attorney where you live. Law varies state to state and frankly, preferences vary judge to judge sometimes, too. Typically the goal of a parenting plan is to eliminate the need to return to court every few years, so I would say envisioning something that could be used even once the child is school aged is worth thinking about. But yeah, a local attorney is going to have the best feel for this.
The father has rights if he is supporting the child otherwise no rights
From a mother who is witnessing the effects of a child not having their father in the picture, I say give the father either equal or close to the same amount of time as the mother(if she’s not breastfeeding). A father is just as vital to the mental and emotional development of a child. As long as he is fit then let him be with his child too
Well there’s a lot of factors that need to be taken into account but assuming it’s as simple as you made it sound, both mom and dad made the baby, both have stable homes with their parents so parenting should be split 50/50. The only reason a parent should be kept from their child is if THE CHILD’S safety/wellbeing is at risk
Whatever you decide to do… Get a court order to protect all 3 of thier rights… But I’d ask the father to give the mother 3 months without leaving baby, he can visit in 6-8hr chunks with mom present at either home… And then start dad and baby time 6-8 hr visits 3 days a week, and be flexible if he wants to come over for extra or there are family events ect. After the 1st birthday start over nights and 50/50 plan at 2yrs old.
My son’s father and I live so close that we actually switch every day. I get him during the day(I work semi nights) and he gets him nights and then we switch off every weekend. My son is almost 2 and this is how it’s been since he was 2months old
Untill she is eating solid food and sleeping all night I wouldn’t separate momma and baby. I would allow the dad to come over at the convenience of your household, then set up a good day with dads household for momma and baby both to visit.
One parent has Primary Custody at this age.
If bubs is breastfed then Mum is the Primary Carer.
Dad can visit and she can take the baby there but No overnights, no longer than 2-3hrs without Mum (for feeds).
Overnights shouldn’t happen until the child is over 1yr old if a consistent relationship has been kept by the non Primary Parent.
That is very important for the babies development.
So Depending where you live seek legal advice and start a formal custody agreement/mediation process if both parents want to remain in bubs life full time.
Me and my kids dad did joint 50/50 straight from the hospital. Half the week with me the other half with him. Now my kid is 5 and we do every other week
babies stay w mama man too young to be dooing that
I would say the mom and dad can make an arrangement like where he could spend a couple hours with the baby during the day time on Saturday’s and sundays. At this age the baby needs the mother more than the father especially if she’s breastfed
It would be AMAZING if they could work it out without the court system involved. But I know that takes a lot of discipline on both sides!
There is so much false information here. Geez. Don’t depend on ANY of these “opinions” because that’s all they are. Lol
Laws vary from state to state. Make a list of questions.
Call a lawyer for a free consultation. All lawyers offer them. Bring your questions and ask a professional familiar with your state laws. It’s free. Best of luck, these things can get tricky.
What I was told when they were going after paternity for my kid was the courts typically favor the mother for the first year. They can either come up with an agreement of who takes the baby when or she can ask for a custody order to be made up. Of course, with the custody order would most likely come a child support case so it’s up to her on if she wants to do that. I’m not sure the demeanor of the father but I do know that (in Michigan at least) if he were to take the baby and refuse to return her, the cops won’t do anything about it because he’s the father. Not trying to scare anyone but my friend recently dealt with that and it took several days for the father to agree to return the baby.
Without a court order, it’s left up to the parents to decide parental rights.
Depending on the state, the courts have a plan to go by if the parents can’t agree. Maybe google your states parenting visitation plan.