How should I deal with 10 year old with the attitude of a teenager?

I would like to know how you guys deal with your 10yrs old girl who already acts like a teenager. What I mean is that she always talks back in the meanest way to anyone, be it her younger brother, her stepdad, or me. We live close to my parents and sister and foster brother, and she is almost always mean to everyone except for my mom, with who she is very close. We have tried everything starting with a pep talk, tried cutting off on TV and electronics, tried to cut off on outings, and now latest I took her favorite clothes and shoes and threatened to throw them away if she didn’t change her attitude, but it seems apart from crying a bit and pleading it doesn’t do any good. I’m out of ideas on how to get her to respect me more and stop being a diva. I have tried asking her why she might be angry, and my mom has also tried, but she says everything is perfect for her. She just doesn’t know why she talks without thinking first. Can someone tell me how they would deal with that, please?


I mean u have tried everything 🤷 im not saying beat her. But a little of reinforcement on what’s not acceptable may get the point across.


Spank or pinch take away electronic devices. Take wifi away…


She does know and you’re letting her get away with it. Otherwise she wouldn’t keep at it. Stop threatening and just do it. No electronics. Period. No friends. Period. No favorite clothes or shoes. Period. You want them back. Change your attitude or it’s not happening. Period. Also whoop her butt.


Follow through and punish the bad behavior, dont forget to reward the good behaviour just as equally.


Ground her to her room until she talks better. If she doesn’t, send her right back in.

Maybe try to see if she would be willing to go to a therapist or psychiatrist. If she isnt sure why it happens and says everything is fine.

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I did all that too & she didn’t respond until I just started ignoring her. Now she knows if she wants to talk to me she better approach me like she’s got some sense.


You do not have to whoop her to make her respect you or follow the house rules
It’s real simple, you are the adult and she is a child
Set a rule and follow through
If she still is disrespectful, take away everything fun, leave only her bed and clothes in her room
But stick to it…
If she wants to do fun things make her work for it!!


Smack her right across her mouth. The first time my son raised his voice at me I did just that, and he never had again. He’s 16 now, and that happened before he got his teens

Be consistent. Dont just something for a day or just one time. You are the parent, you make the rules. If it comes to taking everything away but a few clothes and a mattress to sleep on…then that’s what you do. And it takes more than 1 I’m sorry.


Mine did the same thing…it definitely correlated with hormones for both my girls. We had a talk about feelings, mood, irritability, and how to handle it correctly. They were given options to take a moment to collect themselves to learn to deal with the anger…but also knew there would be consequences if they chose not to.

Stop threatening her with empty threats and her behavior will change. Whatever you threaten to do, you need to follow through, or she’s winning…


I say give that girl a chore list and micro manage the hell out of her. Anything and everything that needs to be done let her do! Tell her she is the woman for the job!! And put it in her head that no matter how little something that she wants is or whatever she wants to do she has to EARN that privilege. And that means earning it through niceness. Every nice thing she says or does tally it up until she hits 5, then she’s earned something.

Spank her!!! Show her that actions HAVE consquences


There is a reason she is acting this way. How long have you been remarried? Do you have children with her stepfather? Is her father in the picture? Look back to when she started this? I am sure there are many variables. And like many have said you need to follow through and set clear expectations. Also, need to remember she may not be a teenager but society kids are way beyond their years.

Maybe she needs some one on one momma time? Perhaps she’s hurting? Like my 9 year old was being bullied at school then would turn to be mean to her brother when home… They don’t always put two and two together but that’s what momma is for. Or my nine year old spotted one or two drops of blood but didn’t really start. My sister did that. One or two drops then nothing for a couple years. But do t listen to these ladies on the physical punishment. Maybe spanking is more useful for different times, but please don’t pinch your daughter. Definitely don’t feel pinching a ten year old would help at all. Sorry :cry:

Lol or chores… dishes always need done.

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Maybe take her the Dr or counselor? Just because she says everything is perfect doesnt mean it is. She may have an anger disorder or ODD

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I am sorry but have you tried a good old fashioned smack in the mouth and this behavior normally does not start at 10. My little sister was like this because of the power struggle my father and her mother had. As a teen she kept getting in trouble in school with teachers, students and basically everyone till she ended up in a juvenile home that basically would not put up with her crap and she atleast finished high school. Now as an adult she can not hold down a job and thinks she is going to be a millionaire without working. So if you and her father do not have a power struggle on how to discipline and your mother is a healthy influence (Is not a meddling grandmother) than it is time for a good whack in the mouth when ever she is inappropriate and then you have a discussion with her about the reason you smacked her mouth. A child that does not respect there parents will not respect anyone.