okay me and my SO have been together almost 2 years. i was told I could never have kids, and he has three from a previous marriage. Well, later down the line, I got the shocking news I was pregnant, and he and I made the decision then and there if the baby was healthy, we were keeping it. Well fast forward now, my son is nine months old, and I am having surgery to have a hysterectomy done as I’m not healthy enough to have any more kids, nor do we want anymore… My SO is so amazing and has had my back on all this… well, his ex-wife has done nothing but downgrade me. Telling me ill regret it and that I’m selfish for doing it and so on… a little back story me and his ex-wife have NEVER fully gotten along. I tolerate her for the kids and my SO but she talks mass shit about me, tells me he will leave me, tells me I got pregnant to take away from her kids, she rolls her eyes at me, tells their five year old she doesn’t have to listen to me and can back as me, gets his family against me by saying I treat their kids badly, she plays power trips and keeps the kids from there dad when she feels like it, and requests more $ even though she gets child support… it’s very bad, and I have spoken to my SO about this and how it stresses me out. Well it keeps happening, and I feel like I am a hot mess of emotions not knowing what to do… I have tried distancing myself, not going to any of his family gatherings, not being around her… but it’s not fair to the family to do this all over a stupid ex-wife (as if i don’t go my son doesn’t either) … I just need advice on what I should do. please no negative comments just a lost momma looking for some nice advice thank you
You have nothing to prove to her in any way. Honestly, she shouldn’t still be attending family functions if she has to be constantly condescending and rude. My advice take the high road, love your life in spite of her, and remember she must in fact be very jealous of you. Sad really that she has to behave that way. Best of Luck to You.
Y’all need to take this back to court. She is mentally and emotionally abusing her children… Need to have the court papers drawn up to where if she does talk bad about you or their dad or says they don’t have to listen to anyone then she is in contempt and will lose rights… Get a lawyer. Best advice I have.
It’s none of her business on your choices about YOUR body and when she’s asks for extra money if your husband does give her any make it pay it towards child support. It’s sad how she’s acting sounds like she’s just jealous
Ignore her. You dont have to deal with her. Tou have nothing to prove to her of all people. And dont not, not go to family events this is YOUR family now. Not hers.
Sounds to me she is jealous. I’d put a smile on my face and stand tall not let her know she is getting to u and go to every family gathering and it’s his family choice to decide who u r. They know he left her for a reason. Be happy in the moment with ur man dont give her the power to ruin everything for yall
You are with a man with children from previous marriage, which means ex wife will be around for life, my advice is ignore her nonsense and be the better person, always be kind to her and her children…easier said than done, but you don’t have much of a choice.
Having my hysterectomy was the best decision of my life… been over a year now and no regrets … dont worry about what she says or does shes only doing it to get a reaction out of you and cause you problems just be the bigger woman and not let it affect you or show her its affecting you … good luck
Also cut any contact u have with her she needs to directly talk to their father. Trust me I blocked my exes woman I dont deal with her at all pisses her off but she is nobody to me . Its alot less drama that way.
You all need family counseling together. The kids cant see this toxic relationship, they will resent all of you.
Kill her with kindness. Be the best person that you can to her and for your family. She may be petty and behaving like a child, but your behaviour and actions will show clearly as will hers in due time. It’s hard and sometimes you’ll have to stand your ground as it is your place to do so. If you can, I would talk to her personally via text or messages so there is proof. Explain to her that you are not trying to be against her, that all you want is peace and communication because the children are the most important thing. All she is doing is causing harm. She needs to be a better person for herself and her children. Make sure to document all that you can as well, ex. her asking for more money, or her not letting him take his children, anything else that you can get on paper/proof. If she doesn’t care to change her behaviour, take some sort of legal action, because her children are being exposed to her toxicity.
Ignore her. No reason to listen to her nonsense
You need to let that woman know your his wife now not her and don’t let her keep you away from the family that’s what she wants and you are letting her get away with it go to court get visitation and then you and your husband need to let her know she is not part of your family any more just the kids are it’s your way or no way
Have a family meeting, so needs to make clear of the boundaries that need to be in place for the children. I was the bitter ex once and also the median in another learning from my mistakes
Sounds like we have the same ex problem. My advice as I have given up trying to have her accept me, Raise your child and love his kids. Worry about your kid and hers don’t worry about her because people that know you know your not a bad person. Good luck very sorry for the ob problems your experiencing.
His ex doesnt get a say in your life. Stop giving her power over you.
Why would you let an outside source into your marriage??!! That was mistake #1. That is between you and your husband. You invite someone to use ammunition by giving them information that has absolutely nothing to do with them. Why?! Second of all in order to make peace ONLY with yourself be present at these family functions. Don’t stop being a wife and mother to ALL children. Nothing that female says will change your marriage unless you invite that negative energy inside. Consistency is key in this because kids can be told to say things but they don’t experience it! My daughter was manipulated for years until she connected the dots. Nothing the birth parent said made sense to what she experienced. She experienced lies, manipulation, games, and toxic behaviors with the birth parent. With us she experienced love, compassion and honesty. Trust and believe children are not blind for long. That lady is on borrowed time. All abusive folks are.
Tell the bitch back down dont let her intimidate you…your health is more important then that evil witch…ive been there where you are tell your SO to tell that batshit crazy ex to back off
It’s none if her business and she needs to keep her unsolicited opinions to herself.
Your SO needs to stand up for you to her and not tolerate her BS. That simple.
She’s doing it because 1) she’s awful and it likely makes her feel better about herself by putting you down. And 2) because she can. She gets away with it.
I’d demand that from my SO. Not doing standing up for you is being complicit.