"My step kiddos come over every holiday, summer, and every other weekend. Recently my 12-year-old stepdaughter has had the ugliest attitude towards her dad; she’s great until you ask her to do ANYTHING.
Like he literally asked her, ‘Hey mama can you give me a napkin please’ and she rolled her eyes and said NO, YOU GET IT. It was literally right next to her and she kept telling him no until he said it with an attitude then she finally gave him one.
That’s just an example tho. Another time, she was texting her grandma on her phone, and he asked her what she was doing in a curious way, not like an invasive nosey way, and she said, ‘I’M TEXTING MY GRANDMA OR CAN I NOT DO THAT???!!’
When she talks to him like that, he just ignores her and goes about his day. My hubby is a great father and doesn’t discipline them much because they’re not here so often and we don’t want to spend the time he has with them on bad terms.
If it were one of our kids, I would’ve stepped in and helped with the situation. She acts like that every time she comes and, as I said only acts up when she’s asked to help do something or if he questions her she gives him the biggest attitude. Idk what to do or what he needs to do because I know if he gets on to her or threatens to take her phone away she’ll never want to come over again. Send help lol!"
RELATED QUESTION: How can I deal with my toddler’s attitude?
TOP ANSWERS (AS SELECTED BY MODERATOR):
“She has hit the fun teen years… Both of you need to sit her down and let her know 1st you love her 2nd the attitude and disrespect ends right now. If she is asked to reach someone a napkin then give them a napkin that’s all, no mouth needed or she will lose her phone for a certain amount of time. Do this now and stick with it or she will get so much worse and eventually, he will not have a relationship with her.”
“I have a 12-year-old girl. She tries to have an attitude and a smart mouth with me and my husband. And I put her in her place. Same with my 17-year-old stepdaughter (only comes up when she wants 2 or wants something). His, mine, it DON’T matter. They will show me and everyone else respect in my house or around me. They get 1 (ONE) warning. That is it. I have taken cell phones for a week, TV away, video games away. If y’all don’t deal with it NOW it WILL get worse.”
“Definitely normal teen behavior, but I suggest maybe talking to him about it then (if on good terms) maybe talking to her mom about it and get suggestions on how mom deals with it Because if my daughter was doing that and my bd was married I would want them to bring it to me first then the three of us would come up with a solution.”
“You don’t handle it! It’s his responsibility to discipline his child! He needs to toughen up! You getting involved could make matters worse.”
“I feel like this is completely normal teenage behavior. Lol. However, her behavior affects the whole house. I would have a talk with your husband. He may not be saying anything because he doesn’t want to lose her more than he feels he already has…”
“I’m curious about your relationship with her? Being a step-parent can be challenging. Perhaps not step in and discipline when dad is not but maybe talk with her, bond with her. Maybe she is upset about something? And maybe female-to-female she may open up?”
“Sounds like a little 12-year-old girl is missing some good old dad & daughter time. Does he take her on date nights? Perhaps he should, at least 2 to 3 hours of one day every time she comes over. Just going to get food, or grocery shopping, or a movie, school clothes & supplies, new shoes. She NEEDS his attention and direction & instead of saying so, she’s lashing out.”
“Buckle up and enjoy! The teenage years are not for the faint of heart. She sounds like a typical disrespectful teen and it doesn’t get better until… well, I’ve been told it does. Mine are 14, 15, and 17 and they all still hate my existence.”
"Congrats! She’s a normal teen kid of divorced parents. Now your husband needs to be a normal dad and discipline her. He is the problem here, not her.
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