How should I handle this situation with my boyfriends ex?

My bf of a year has two children with his ex, they are still legally married & he keeps promising me that he will get divorced from her. The children are 2 & 5, his daughter is 5, and his son is 2. I love these children as if they were my own. but their mother is very toxic and selfish; she will spoil her self before buying diapers for her 2 yr old. (ex: yesterday she called to come to pick up the kids for a sleepover, and she needed us to give her all of our diapers because she just got her nails done & had no money left) she is 24, works @ KFC making like 11 dollars an hr. She just spent over $2,000 on a brand new bedroom set as well. Not to mention that she is doing everything in her power to cheat the welfare system. I feel bad for disliking her so much, but she really is not the best parent. She has not taught her 5-year-old daughter how to wipe herself when she is done going potty, hasn’t taught her letters colors or any numbers & the daughter starts school this August. I feel very lost and just want to know if anyone has any advice for me.


I feel like a lot of this is made up due to the fact you’re upset your “boyfriend” hasn’t divorced his wife… something is definitely missing from this story.


Document everything with dates and times if you can… And if it gets worse have your boyfriend call a lawyer


What advice do you want? You stay in your lane. You don’t “handle” his ex. That’s on him.


All i can say is to document everything! Even if it seems petty still document it. Besides the still married issue, i feel you. Im in pretty much the same situation…I cant help you honestly cause we have tried everything as well and have gotten nowhere. And y’all who think there arnt women out there like this you are sadly mistaken and in denial. There are just as many deadbeat moms as there are deadbeat dads…


Not much you can do. As for me if their still married I wouldn’t be with him. Y’all have been together a year and he is still married to her. Something’s not right there!! As for ex he needs to deal with her


Insist he actually gets the divorce or that he takes some responsibility and parents his own kids instead of you feeling obligated to worry about them if he’s still married to their mother? :woman_shrugging:


That’s all on your boyfriend to take care of. If mom isn’t doing that, I sure hope you guys are and not just leaving it to Mom to teach her everything


1st of all, he needs to file for divorce asap. Second, keep a record of all that u just said in this post. Document when she needs diapers & what she did with her money & when it comes time for custody, your bf needs to show the proof & file for custody. When y’all have the kids, work with the daughter & try to help her learn.


Why hasn’t your boyfriend taught his child how to wipe, or letters, numbers, colors etc. They are married he can have more time if he wishes because there isnt an order in place because legally they are still married. Also if you love them so much why haven’t you taught them? My step mom taught all 3 of us this stuff. Seems fishy and made up tbh.


Run… It’s has been a year and they are still not divorced. I dated a man recently divorced before with a toxic ex… And small children. I promise you this man needs to get his life together before he starts a new one with you. Or it will not work… I am not saying y’all wont end up together, but you need to separate yourself for him to get it together. You are putting yourself in a bad position. I promise you… I have been there…


As much as you won’t like to hear this, you are only in fact the girlfriend, 1 year isn’t that long, you should probably stay out of it. It’s his job to take care of his kids and deal with her


Hes not leaving his wife and now your just playing house.


Been a year and no sign of divorce? Yet he “promises” to get a divorce? Red flag there. With them still being married you have no say in anything… cant be captain save the kids if your boo thing isnt taking action to clean up or set his foot down, your little boo thing is the father, he has just as much ability to teach his own kids what the mother is lacking on.


Was there a question in there?


There is nothing you can do they are still technically married and they are not your kids.


He’s not leaving his wife or he would have done it already. Just saying. You can’t do anything. It’s his job to check his wife. And HE can also make sure she knows how to wipe, her letters/numbers/etc.


You are complaining about your boyfriend’s wife and just looking for fault in her… because she is your boyfriend’s wife!

Stop being sloppy and get away from this mess. You would have beef with her if she was Mother Theresa herself… because your boyfriend is married to her


I must have missed the question. Anyone?

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What the hell you doing with a married man, if he ain’t divorced her yet, he ain’t going to, so get yourself out of that