How do you deal with a mother-in-law who creates relatives for herself (calls them niece and granddaughter) and doesn’t treat her real grandson as a family (or us)? She asks to come over and see her grandson (rarely) or asks to watch him so that my husband and I can go out (happened once). She doesn’t acknowledge him on FB (like her fake granddaughter and niece) and doesn’t invite us to holidays or anything else. I don’t understand why she is back in our lives three years after she disowned us if she doesn’t want to be a real family. I stayed friends with her on FB all these years and it hurts seeing her celebrate holidays with the “granddaughter” and “niece”.
It is possible she has some mental issues going on, my own grandmother was only capable of loving (if you want to call it that) one person at a time. Turned out she had bipolar disorder (had because she passed away a few years ago) but she hardly acknowledged my existence or my brothers existence. Frankly if she wants in your life let her as long as she is not verbally abusive or physically abusive, take photos try to put the hurt away. If you are angry and bitter and she suddenly dies then you will feel guilty. There was a time that people believed family was everything, good or bad we forgave and loved our family. Also sometimes family isn’t blood it is people who are there for us when nobody else is. I would love to know your mother in laws side of the story.
I’d be done with her
Aint got time for that drama…block and keep living your life…never make someone a priority if they treat you as an option
Cut ties with her and cut her out of the family. Problem solved.
Cut her out of your lives. She’s playing jealousy games
If she’s not interested in you, you don’t have to be interested in her. There’s no point in being jealous or upset because it’s not going to change anything. She’s free to make her own choices - including who she considers family.
Your child is better off without her … trust me… You will be much happier and feel less guilt because she doesn’t treat your child the way you expect a grandparent to treat their grandchild… Sometimes you just gotta know when to fold…
Toughen up cupcake… It isnt always a bad thing to not have another family except you into theirs when your not blood related!!!
I have dated a guy for 8yrs an his family doesnt except myself an my two boys as their family an that’s ok bc we are not blood related…
I think you need to first openly communicate all these feelings with her. If you are not afraid of cutting ties then what would it hurt? Possibly she feels closer to these people because they are actually closer to her I mean visits and spending time together go both ways and if they are spending more time with her then it seems like that’s your answer as to why she acknowledges them more. If you both want to build up the relationships then cool work on that but if you want her to do all the work on her end alone it will never turn out the way you want. People want to feel appreciated for their efforts, especially older people. But I really do think nine times out of ten most problems come from lac of communication and that’s in every kind of relationship
Cut your ties and losses it won’t change! I have a bitter sil who creates fake aunts and banned me from their life cuz I don’t want to be friends with one of the fake aunts
Cut her out of your lives. It will not change.
Well do you guys invite her i once talked to an older woman same thing and she said that her fake family cared for her and visited her and all that when her real family was just to busy
Similar situation, my father and stepmother always share their pictures and celebrations with their other grandchildren but never mine. It hurts, to say the least, because my kids have been very deprived of the father’s side of the family, for different reasons! I just let my kids join in the love that my side of the family has always given them! But I never know what to say about my father/stepmom (their other grandparents). My son turns 6 on Saturday. He still isn’t sure who his other grandparents are. Sadly, I wish this could be changed but I don’t know if it ever will be!
I am a person who has a “granddaughter “ as you say an I have other grandkids but they never come but there parents don’t bring them I love them dearly would try to move mountains for them but the granddaughter shows me respect an is always there when I need her I love them all
Cut your losses now, you don’t want fake people family or not in your child life, at the end of the day they will know what family cared enough and which didn’t I wouldn’t force it. From someone who grew up around this situation it showed me who I could count as family and who I couldn’t.
Til this day I don’t regret not knowing them, One day she will regret not being in your child life. Or yours.
First it’s her issue not yours, she is missing out and she knows it hence the “granddaughter niece”
It’s a fake life she has created to remind you every day she doesn’t need you ! Is your husband only child ? Did you go against her when the relationship first started ? Did she feel as if you took her baby ?
A lot of women do this with their only sons …
Wiped mine out of our lives 6 years ago, never been happier.
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