How should we handle my husbands sons behavior?

Hello all, I would love advice from moms with kids who have behavioral issues. My 11 (almost 12) year old stepson lives with my husband and I. The child’s mother gave up custody several years ago because she couldn’t deal with him. I started taking him to the pediatrician not long after he moved in, and he was diagnosed with having impulse control issues. Currently, he is on two different kinds of medications for it. It has been a lot of trial and error with the meds. He still has problems, though. He is rude, disrespectful; he throws epic tantrums, screams, beats on things, slams doors, etc. He is worse to me than his father. Today he is home from school because he got suspended for one day. That was because he threw a tantrum at school yesterday and was berating the staff. He also got in trouble at school a few days ago - he got into a fight with a kid in his class and called the other kid the N-word. And no, we do not use that kind of language in our house. We pressed him to know where he heard that kind of word, and he said he heard it on a video game he played at his mom’s house. (She lets him play games rated M for mature and watch R rated movies ). So long story short, I am at my wit’s end. The pediatrician says there is nothing more he can do, that we need to try counseling. We have taken him to counsel before, and all he did was lie to the counselor about how we beat him and mistreat him. I don’t know what to do.


Maybe talk to the doctor about cbd oil?

Keep looking for another counselor. Your husband needs to put in more work with his son. While you may take on the mother roll its up to your husband to be his authority figure.


He should not be seeing a pediatrician for mental health issues. He needs a psychiatrist/counselor. Asap


I would handle it with the butt whooping he says he gets. If hes gonna lie on me I should make it true. Then if the doesn’t work send him to a bootcamp for bad boys

Sounds like you need Dr. Phil


Good old ass whooping


Bring him back to counselling. Counselling is not supposed to be easy. If he isn’t under the care of a pediatric psychiatrist and therapist you should find him them. A pediatrician will not be as well educated on medications for psychiatric problems as a child psychiatrist. You need a team to help.


Omg this post is so sad because I could have wrote it. But my son is now 14(15 in a few weeks) and behavior is still the same. I wish you luck. We are seeing counselors now.

Send him back to his mother , maybe that’s what he wants.:woman_shrugging:t4:

Have you taken him to a behavior specialist?


He’s 12, don’t buy into “mom let me play the bad video game”. Who are his friends? What does he do besides play video games? At that age sadly he’s heard that word and much worse at school. Take him to a psychiatrist, rule out some other issues and consider counseling again. You said he lies to the counselor, do you think he feels If you and your husband were deemed bad parents he could live with mom? What is dad doing about this behavior? Is everyone on the same page? And I hate to break it to you, you can be amazing parents and have a great situation and some kids will still behave this way. It’s hard but stay consistent with rewards and punishments. It is not a cure all and it may not change his behavior immediately, but it reinforces that there are consequences to actions. He is most likely getting some benefit from the situation. Maybe something that is not immediately apparent to you guys. Kids who don’t like school or just want to go home act up to be sent home. Does the school offer in school suspension? This ensures he’s not falling behind on school work and isn’t getting to hang out at home when he should be at school. I hope your situation improves.

Dad needs to take him to the back yard and beat his ass!


If you have a childrens hospital near you schedule hom for a thorough evaluation. They can do psychological assessments & consult w a dietician. Some times diet can be an issue. They will also have psychiatrists on staff that can evaluate for medication. Pediatricians will typically only go so far with behavioral meds because of the liability involved with children. Id also ask about some in home family counseling.


You can’t beat depression and mental illness out if anybody. The kid is probably dealing with a lot. His parents split. Dad gets new relationship. Mom loses custody. Those are all MAJOR events. And if he hasn’t handled them properly he’s not going to do well and shouldn’t be expected too. He’s a kid learning to handle big emotions. Get him back into therapy


Where’s judge Judy? This child is screaming out for help. This is a safety issue. This child also has a legal right to say where he/she wants to stay. I hope the counselor reported what he/she was told. Sounds like your avoiding the real problems and issues.


He needs tough love.


I have the same problem with my step son as well

You 100% need a new pediatrician, the one you have now is garbage. There are tons of different options for you and for them to say there’s nothing you can do??? RUN!


You have to take him to a psychiatrist not a pediatrician.