How should we handle this situation with our son?

I have been with my husband for five years. A few years ago, we had caught our then 13-year-old son (my stepson) inappropriately messaging an 11-year-old girl. We did what we thought, at the time, the right thing and messaged the girl’s parents, handled it how we all saw fit, and that was the end of it. That was the first sexual encounter we had had with any of our children. Although we had not necessarily handled it exactly appropriately, given the situation that it was, I think we handled it fairly well. Now, my biological son has been caught googling things on our family computer that is inappropriate. My husband wants to shut it down. He wants to tell my son that this is absolutely inappropriate for his age and that anything in depth will come at a later date. I, however, do not agree with this. With our past history of sexual talks, I feel that it may shut my son down into a place where he no longer wants to talk to us. I feel that speaking to him and telling him that although he is too young for that, if you have any questions, please come to us and let us know. I’m kind of at a loss of what to do about this. Should I let the man, my husband, handle this? Or should I step in and say that I am the mom and that what I say goes. I was a single mom for five years, so I semi-prepared myself for these talks. But I’m not sure what to do without angering my husband.

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Talk to them. They’ll either hear it from you or someone else.

You dont get to step into parenting his child but then expect him to step out of parenting yours. His opinion matters and you should be deciding together.

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You talk to your son

Well you left out a lot of details. Your sons age and what he was looking at. You also helped punish his kid so why shouldn’t he get to help punish yours?

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Have an open conversation with your son and put blockers on the computers so he can’t look up any inappropriate content. Yelling at him and making him feel bad for it will only make him shut down and not come to you with that stuff

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I mean… You had a say on how to handle the situation with your step son why shouldn’t your husband be allowed to do the same? If you’re both raising these children it is 50/50 on what is done discipline wise.

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You should both sit down with him & talk it out. Have an age appropriate discussion about things with him & let him know that it’s okay to be curious.

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Do what you feel is right. I also think you’re right, shutting it down aggressively will make your son shut down. He will not talk to you.

You sound like you are just trying to shelter your kid. From you husband and us all

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Don’t make sex a “bad thing.” Make it an open conversation so that he feels comfortable coming to you (his parents,) for advice.

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His opion matters allow him go deal with it, however maybe you two can speak privately and make a collective decision.

Compromise. Shut off the computer & talk to your son.

I agree with you, it is inappropriate but if he has questions to ask. Put parental controls on all devices. But, do not use the I’m mom so what I say goes approach with your husband you two need to talk to him together and be on the same page.

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Discuss it openly. If your husband crosses a line that may have negative impacts on your child then draw a line.

I don’t think he should be punished for looking at nudies lol… It’s probably just time to have a talk about protection, consent and just the general sex talk. If you punish him, he might think it’s unnatural and wrong and that may put him in a weird place when it comes to relationships when he’s older…

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I will be telling my daughter about everything so she has a good understanding once I find out she’s trying to know more. You should talk with your husband and let him know you want to do this with your child.

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While I agree with your way of handling the situation, I do not agree with pulling the “I’m the mom” card. Before anything happens, you and hubby need to get on the same page.

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Give him some porn and some tissues. Leave him alone for a while. Hell figure it out lol

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Why is it ok to embarrass HIS son and it’s not ok to embarrass YOURS ? …what kind of 13 year old boy in 2020 is gonna AsK HiS moMmY questions about him wanting to see or do sexual things?? Just leave the kid alone jesus.youre gonna make him feel even more weird about natural things…block the crap on the family computer so he cant do it in front of everybody and hell find another way like his phone or tablet or whatever just like every other normal human :roll_eyes:

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