I’ve been wanting to leave my fiance. But we have a son together and i have no job , no home and no car bc he will keep the car he bought me. He works all the time but I stay at home and do everything , cook ,clean ,wash his clothes , take care of the baby. I don’t complain either bc he works all day but he just makes me feel so bad about myself and makes me feel bad Because I don’t bring in money but I have no one to watch our son because he says it’s my responsibility to find a sitter and when I do he says he doesn’t want his son going to a stranger so I told him to watch him and he won’t. I don’t know how else to work if he won’t watch him. I don’t have money to pay a sitter so with him not wanting him to go to a stranger he wouldn’t pay for the sitter. He says I’m lazy and I’m never going to be anything . I just don’t know what to do
You staying home, caring for your son and keeping the house is not your job, but it does save you guys a ton of money without paying a dayhome or daycare. I feel like a horrible wife all the time cause my husband works long hours, works away 2-4 weeks at a time. Its lonely. It sucks but it’s good for our ba n account if I stay home with our kids (we have 3 kids). Find yourself a hobby! Find a friend who can watch your son sometimes and go do something for YOU! I’m going through this after a move across the country where I dont know no one. No friends and none of my family is here. If you need to talk, feel free to message me
Ugh this sounds confusing. He wants you to work but won’t help with your mutual child? Does he realize it’s his kid too? This guys sounds dumb
Is there a housing assistance available to you? There shud be womens shelters that can help assist you. That is physiological abuse and can lead to anxiety and depression if it hasnt already. Please find help. I know u may feel trapped but u do have options
Try finding a job you can do from home!? Or find a job somewhere that you can take your son with you: a daycare center? YMCA? So you can earn money, gain some Independence and maybe find a way to move on from what sounds like an abusive relationship! Best of luck to you girl❤️
Go stay with friend or family. Screw him, he’ll never change, I promise you that
I feel you, I found a job opposite to his schedule like he works from 8 to 5 and I work from 6pm to 3am… I still cook clean and take care of my son, I leave food for them to have dinner he cleans up, washes the dishes, showers my baby and puts him to bed but he never made me feel bad about my self not working, I decided to work after almost 3 yrs staying home and I dont have to pay anybody to watch him
You should speak to a divorce lawyer. You can usually speak to one for free. You have more options than you think you do. If you and your husband split up, he just can’t take the car or anything else because he works and you don’t. I was in your situation a few years ago and you do have options. Talk to a lawyer, and maybe get in touch with a women’s organization that helps battered women. It’s sounds like your husband is verbally abusive, and these organizations for abused women can help you get your life on track if your marriage ends.
This is abuse and control, have you considered a shelter for moms and babies? They should help you with a lot. Good luck!
I would leave. Is the car in your name? I hope so, cause then he cannot keep it. Doesn’t matter who bought it, it’s the name on the title that matters. Call government assistance & see what you need to do for housing. Get your own place that way. Sign up for food stamps, state insurance, & cash assistance. Anything you are eligible for sign up for. Then you can get your son in daycare (also can get help) and start building a life. You can get away from him. He is trying to make it seem like you are stuck, you are not! Make moves!
I’ve been the stay at home mom and now the single mom too. If your really not happy find a job and a siter and leave. But i honestly loved being a stay at home mom. Yes its a lot of work and your job never ends but that’s also part of being a mom not just a stay at home one
Ask family to help, you need out of there…hes not treating you right and making you take care of both y’all responsibilities. He sounds like a real loser, making you feel that way.
I’m going through the same exact thing at the moment its not easy but let me tell you something a mothers job as a stay at home mom is more physical than any other job out there plus there is more rewards and benefits of being the mommy who stays home. Maybe have a firm sit down convo between the two of you and let him know EXACTLY how you feel and what’s going your dealing with than if he still doesn’t want to change anything leave his sorry ass for not being there for you and your child like he should be.
A man that wants to marry you has said you will never be anything. Red flag.
I’m sorry you’re going through this. Your feelings are valid. You deserve a life and whatever it is that you need to feel fulfilled. I would reach out on facebook and to family if possible about needing a car, job and sitter. Or maybe you can stay with somebody you trust until you find a car
I work at YMCA and can take my kid to work with me. Some other gyms will let you as well. Look for something like that.
If car is in your name you can take it. Find a shelter or start babysitting at hime and stash money from that so you can get your place.
Get out. They have shelters for battered woman that will help you get on your feet. Job, sitter, a place to live. He sounds like douche bag. I’d make sure that title to the car was in my name. It was a gift to you. You can do with it as you please. Get the title and find your way to the DMV.
It’s not about your baby, it’s about him being a frightened, probably depressed, emotionally unstable individual who is looking for somebody to control. Get out NOW. Your baby deserves more than an abused, always apologizing “fiancee” for a mother 10 years from now. You got your precious child from a piece of crap, so it’s up to you to do two parents’ job to care for him. Get to work, starting with a new home, new job, new attitude. It doesn’t take a college degree, nursing homes are always hiring.
Major control freak warning bells here!!! He is not a healthy choice, get out and away from that situation as soon as possible. If all you are to him is a designated babysitter and the car he “bought for you?” instead of the “family car?” Evacuate girl… it’s over before it even got started.