I am 20 weeks pregnant and feel insecure: Thoughts?

So I’m 20 weeks pregnant, and recently my bf left a porn site on his phone, I happened to see it because I was trying to search up something. I don’t know how I should take it. He says that he has no thoughts of cheating and that he just watches it because he needs to get rid of the urges he gets out of nowhere when he knows I’m too tired or the kids are still up. The search was about a dildo gun when the girl finishes or over, sorry if it’s TMI. The reason is… I have never done that. I have never felt anything down there, never and never finished with him or anyone in the past. It all feels numb, even rubbing lol sry. I feel embarrassed. He knows this, I’ve told him. I do it for him because he has always made me feel loved and sexy during intercourse, and I love watching the pleasure it gives him. I am an emotional pregnant woman, and I feel like he secretly wants me to be like the women who actually come. I feel like I don’t want to be with anybody because of this problem I have like I want to be alone forever. But he loves me very much and said that this problem wouldn’t come between us.


Porn isn’t a gateway to cheating or leaving. Porn isn’t some huge sign he doesn’t find you attractive. Its just a porn site to wack off too girls do it too. Even when in a relationship. Some do it together


If you have to ask…

I know you love him. So not saying to leave him just giving you my experience is all. I used to be just like you. Just felt nothing never cum nothing. I thought it was cuz I didnt like sex. Well my bf now is different ut actually feels good and i cum. And i feel something unlike before i felt nothing.

1 Like

It’s porn. Good god women need to get over it. It’s not cheating. For fucks sake

I would see a doctor because it isnt normal to not feeling anything down there! Girl, you are missing out, and i feel badly for ya!


Speak with your dr maybe it will help?


First, if you communicate openly, porn doesn’t have to be a threat to your relationship or abnormal or anything deeper than videos on the internet, despite your own insecurities. It doesn’t have to be a deal-breaker, but if it is for you, he needs to know that up front and in a non-condescending fashion. You can’t just fight over it constantly because it fulfills a need for him that might be totally unrelated to you, but still concerns you. There are all kinds of relationship counselors and sex therapists who can help you both talk to each other about your wants and needs and help you work through your personal issues much better than strangers on the internet.


Its not a problem a lot of women do not climax until well int their thirties talk to your doctor

Every man does it my husband and I have been together 28 yrs have been married for almost 26yrs I don’t care if he watches it when I’m not in the mood I would rather he did that then go looking for the real thing there men it’s natural that doesn’t mean he is going to cheat and it doesn’t mean he doesn’t love you if he didn’t he would be throwing a fit because you weren’t in the mood


Do you climax on your own? If you don’t experience any feeling I’d see a doctor, if not maybe your not getting enough foreplay.


Ok. If you get nothing from sex, but do it anyway to please him and he knows that, why in God’s name would you expect him to want to bother you for it?? And then to deny him porn and masturbation too?? That’s cruel. For all you know, he feels like you’re a rubber sex doll when you do it, because he knows it doesn’t feel good. Maybe he feels like he’s taking advantage of you, or even raping you? You don’t know. He won’t ever tell you that. Most people want their partners to enjoy sex with them, or it becomes pointless. Not to mention, I’m sure it kills him personally, because men blame themselves when women don’t enjoy sex with them!
I suggest you go see a dr and a sex therapist, NOW. No one should have to live with that. Not you. Not him. No one.
But try a vibrator first, make sure it’s right on your clitoris, while he’s inside you, or maybe when he’s not (it really is different for everyone). If he goes long enough for you… magic may happen. There’s LOTS of stuff to try though. Idk what you’ve tried so far. Either way, rubbing doesn’t always cut it after a certain number of kids.
For real though, see someone about that. With coaching and experimentation, it’s likely possible to find signs of life down there. Could change your whole world, dear! Everyone deserves to have a great sex life! Especially in your 30s. Best time, hands down. No pun intended. lol


First off let’s get something straight…
“Those women who actually come”
It is SO toxic to compare yourself or your sex life to porn. That shit isn’t real.

Second… it’s just porn. I watch porn on my downtime lol some people do some people don’t… it’s not some gateway to cheating unless you’re a douche bag lol

My advice?
Take some YOU time and learn what actually makes your body feel good and communicate that to him. Y’all aren’t doing each other any good “faking” orgasms or relying on porn.

I didn’t care if mine did while pregnant. I was so not on the mood and didn’t want his needs neglected fully


Watching porn doesn’t mean he’s not attracted to you or wants you to be like those girls who get paid big money to act like they’re having the time of their lives (they’re not). Porn is fantasy and with all fantasy reality is better because it’s grounded and just real. My husband watches porn on my phone. It honestly irritates the piss out of me, not because he wants me to be like those girls (I can fake it just as good as they can if I’m in the mood to do so) but a lot of porn sites are loaded with viruses. You’re a beautiful woman and carrying his baby makes you more attractive than ever to him.


Girl, I didn’t have my first big O until I was 18 and it was with a hand held body massager. Go to an Adam and Eve or whatever is near you and get a vibrator or the “Rabbit”… you’ll like it :wink:. Explore yourself and figure out you… down there. If you don’t know what you like, he won’t know and then you are both stuck. Also, you can always use it in front of him… guys like that too. Take the pressure away and just lay back and relax. Discover who you are as a woman and then you can communicate that to him. I’m never above making a man stay downstairs for 20 minutes… I know how it works and unfortunately, for us women, it doesn’t happen like it does for men or as easily. Discover YOU and your lady friend!!!


Omg there is nothing wrong with him watching porn
Also can you send me the link, a dildo gun sounds interesting


Well in all honesty that’s not really a decision anyone can make for you. I know many people who don’t like porn and have let their partners know and many who don’t care. It’s a personal preference that should be respected either way


It’s porn for God sake he anit out cheating on think. Your well over thinking it tbh


honesty I’m the same, I can’t feel if I cum or not. It’s ok. just talk to him and tell him. I don’t like how I look cause the depo makes me gain weight. I actually prefer my SO watching porn instead of actually going out to find another to pleasure himself. at least it’s his hand instead of another’s vagina and he’s not cheating. I have two kids and we are both still young. so he gets urdges a lot. I may not feel it, but my SO says he knows when I hit my point.so I guess just some of us can’t feel it, but still able to have kids. enjoy the results not just the experience. have faith in yourself and talk to your guy.