I am a single mother and have constant fear: Advice?

Hii, I’m 35yr and a single parent of 2year old boy from India. My baby was born out of a marriage, and in India, it’s still a taboo; it is considered a disgrace to the family, and at times you’re discarded from society if you give birth without marriage. I was lucky enough that my parents understood and accepted. My parents are old, and I’m not in touch with my baby’s father because he never took any responsibility when I was pregnant. He made my life miserable and left me to take care of myself all alone. Being a single mother, I have constant fears that something will happen to me or sometimes dark thoughts for my baby, and if I tell my parents, they won’t understand this. I’m working because of these intrusive thoughts, affecting my mental peace, and I tend to lose temper on my baby, and later on, I’m in guilt mode. I don’t know what exactly needs to be done. Am I turning into a bad mom, or if many mommies go through this. Please don’t judge me. I’m seeking proper guidance.

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Mama. U are great and amazing. Your strength is inspiring. Keep going. Push through for that baby and live for your child. Every mom gets “mom guilt” every now and then. All that matters is that you love that baby above all else and work your hardest to support and care for her. You can do it. Have faith and just never give up. Many blessings to you mama.

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Awe Hun. Don’t feel guilty. We all lose our temper from time to time. What I’ve learned over the years being a parent is that sometimes you have to put yourself in a time out. Instead of getting mad at your child, make sure your child is safe then get yourself in a time out for 5 minutes then revisit the situation that you are frustrated with.
I don’t believe in corporal punishment so this mommy time out was the key for me to learn how to be the best mom possible.

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Your putting to much guilt on your shoulders. Who cares what other people think. Its 2021. Just take a deep breath we all have yelled. Your a great mom.

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This is completely normal momma! For the dark thoughts, I had those too and didnt know it was associated with Post Partum depression. Try talking to a doctor about medication for anxiety and depression if you are okay with medication.

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The only thing is that matters is what you think. It doesn’t matter what anyone else’s things. You may need to speak to someone about your fears so you can sort them out and understand them. They can also help you sort out your out bursts.

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Seek counseling now.

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We all lose our temper at temper at times. Just apologize and let you child know your a person too. He may not understand now but your teaching him how to be a good person. If you he’s someone to talk to therapy is okay and very helpful. Keep your head up and keep being the good mom you are

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Easy to see you are a fantastic momma based on the fact alone your posting asking for support it must of took alot of courage :muscle: please speak to the drs they will help you through this my messenger is also open if you feel confident enough to speak to me :purple_heart: your not alone xx

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You also might get checked for ppd and ppa post partum depression and anxiety

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I’m a mother of a 20 and 25 year old, and all I can do is forgive myself for not being a better parent than I could have. Give yourself credit for not giving up!

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I felt very much like you for a long time but now I have antidepressant medication and counselling and it is a huge help x

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It’s called intrusive thoughts, it’s very common after you have a baby, you could have post partum depression, speak to a doctor or mental health advisor

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Unfortunately it comes with being a good parent to a certain point. If it’s too much on you seek help please.

Hold on… in what way are you losing your temper with your baby? And what thoughts? Nobody seems to be registering this, could mean anything! Is this child safe ?

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Sorry you are in a difficult situation, this is very sad. It’s ok to get upset sometimes but when you do try to find another outlet. Go into another room for a moment grab a pillow and scream into it as loud as you can. Take the pillow and hit it on the bed. Just try to remember that it’s not your sons fault like yours that the father chose the easy way out.
Being a single Mom is horribly hard sometimes; I am one too. However, my culture is different so I don’t have the same pressure. If you can, find a counselor. Maybe find a book online that can help you with redirecting pain and anger.
Yoga is a great out source for stress and you can do it with your child.
Keep your head up, keep loving on your child and God Bless!

It’s very brave of you to reach out. A good start would be to call and get an appointment to talk to someone since you don’t feel your parents would understand… Postpartum depression is real and can last years. There’s nothing wrong with getting medication and counciling you deserve to get help and so does your child. No one should live with those intrusive thoughts and feelings and there is help.

Don’t mind what others think about your situation. It’s your life, don’t let culture or tradition affect your motherhood journey because the people in your community are not the ones who will raise your child. Just continue being a good mother to your child & it’s ok if you kose temper sometimes. It happens, don’t feel guilty about it. All you have to do is be the mother that your child deserves and continue showing him the love & care that he needs. You will be alright.

Please get professional help, see a doctor, even if you get prescribed meds/therapies etc it’s just a temporary crutch until you can be in a better place and get back to being you again.

I escaped a dv/abusive relationship with my baby (years ago now) I never got help until I had my son years later because of what was said and done to me made me so worried and paranoid. Getting help was essential for me and my babies, I spent so much time sobbing and scared when I should’ve been enjoying it all and my babies x

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U need counseling ASAP

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