I am a stay at home mom and feel bad that I do not contribute financially: How can I get over this?

I’m a SAHM. I feel lousy that I do not contribute financially to this family at all. Our cars, house everything, is because of my husband but it’s also all in his name. I am so thankful for him and everything he has given us, but I just feel like nothing is ours; it’s just his. I always ask before buying anything, even stuff for the baby or groceries. ( even tho he says it’s “our money” or “our house” ) I just don’t feel that way. How do you other mommas get over this?


You are home with your kids. That is the most and best contribution you could ever give. Chin up :blush:


from day one, husband and I had both our names on all the financial stuff (accounts, cards, loan, etc.) and decided that my contributions were worthy. No, he doesn’t always appreciate it. Yes, he does sometimes say, “if you really want that thing you can have it when YOU get a job” but then I point out (sometimes rudely - oops) that raising our kids IS my job and i’m darn good at it, and somewhat underpaid to boot. If you feel it’s not even, start valuing what you do even if it means looking up what full-time childcare, nursing care, grocery shoppers, chauffeurs, housekeepers, accountants and whatever else you do make, add it all up, and then figure half the house payment / rent out of that and see just what you do actually contribute. Hint: it’s not small potatoes.

If you feel that way then look into daycare or sitters and go get a job


I don’t really have an answer for you. I always have worked during my marriage and house, cars, etc., are in joint names. If you are feeling like you add no real value to your marriage, or home because you stay home to take care of the children you may just want to talk to your husband. He is the one who will help you though this. Perhaps jointly by the car, change the title on the house to joint names. This isn’t just to add to your “worth” but, these are things that should be in joint names just in case something happens to your husband. Just talk to him.

Maybe babysit ? Part time something ? I felt same way for awhile n just did what I could,

I have been a SAHM for 22 yrs. I make sure the house is clean, kids are taking care of( mine are older now 21,18 and 14), I do all the yardwork, and I always make sure dinner is ready when he walks in the door from work. I basically make sure he really doesn’t have anything to do because he is out in the real world making the bacon and having to be a sheep clocking in and out.


Remember you are working,very hard.
You clean ,cook,look after the kids,keep everything thing ticking over.You have one of the most important jobs there is ,raising your children.Just remember this won’t be forever. Maybe ask husband for a monthly housekeeping amount,that goes straight to your account,so you don’t feel you always have to ask .Good luck .


How long have you been together? And over time you’ll start to feel better about it. If you’re a stay at home parent you do have a full time job of raising your kids and keeping your home. It doesn’t sound like your husband has an issue you are letting yourself hold you back. Take small steps, purchase things without asking. Start incorporating the words ours into your life. Your married, its a together life. Live a together life. Stop feeling guilty. Many woman such as myself are stay at home parent’s. Maybe sit down and come up with a spending plan for you throughout the week, for baby items, household, or whatever else, if that makes you feel more comfortable. Your husband seems to be OK, so you need to become OK. It would be different if he was having an issue and claimed it all his. He isn’t.

I definitely would hate that feeling, try doing something to have your own income, even if it’s small. As sad as it is, but in todays day and age it’s always good to have something to fall back on because you never know what tomorrow holds. That’s a good self sufficiency lesson for your children also.

1 Like

Am too a sahm, it is hard sometimes. Feel the same way u do most days but then I think about all the kids stuff I would maybe miss out on and then I’m very thankful. We dont have much extra with one income but I felt empowered when my name was added to important stuff. My car is in my name with my husband as a secondary. I have credit cards(not big ones, just kohl’s and children’s place in my name only)

I’ve been a SAHM for the last 2 years and I’ve been feeling the exact same way… I just recently went and got a part time job serving at a local restaurant, its not much financially but it makes a huge difference in the way I feel now.

Your efforts contribute to the household income. You provide childcare, household management.

1 Like

Im a stay home mom I did work for a while while daughter was in school part time now I’m looking for CPR class to work with school subs

Then go to work in the evenings, simple!


Just because he physically makes the money, doesn’t mean it’s just his. The cars, the house, should still be in BOTH names. You’re a chef, maid, coach, teacher, caregiver, nurse, and so much more in the 1 category it falls under “SAHM”. Google “how much does a stay at home mom make” and click images. The first one should actually break down how much you’d be paid if you actually did for being a stay at home mom. You’d make WAY more than your spouse :grin: that’s how I look at it.

Ur husband sounds like he’s totally fine with ur position as a sahm.im 64 yo & never had that option.so enjoy! My suggestion would b to not ask ur husband to purchase things or use the money.he isn’t ur daddy & u shouldn’t feel like u need permission.so try that.enjoy ur baby 100% & flaunt ur position & enjoy ur now life❤️

Oh hunn. Being a sahm is more than a full time job. Dont beat yourself up about it. If it really bothers you, maybe take in a child for daycare or even start up one of your own at home businesses. I did and made it a full time career. Im sure your husband would support you

As a stay home mom of over 18 years I never felt that way because my job at home I did way more than what my husband did out on the field.

We had 3 children 1 was handicap I was more stressed out than he was cooking cleaning bill pain doctors appointment school IEP meetings.

I say home moms do way more than one or husbands would do out on a job unless he has a very stressful hands on kind of thing a stay-at-home moms get way more stressed out

To the point that if I got a job and put my children in day care all my check would go to day care and what would be the sense of that. Just be happy that you can stay home with your children and raise them way better than setting them to A-day care.

When they get into school and if you can find an afternoon morning job while they’re in there you can contribute but up until then don’t feel so badd your job is way more stressful

By staying home u r saving ur family money. If u went back to work, in order to do everything u do, ur family would have to hire a nurse, cook, organizer, maid, secretary, negotiator, shopper, coach, chauffeur, tutor, personal groomer, counselor, & day care provider.