I am concerned my sons dad isn't spending time with him at his house: Thoughts?

My son and I were shopping for groceries. We were in the cereal aisle. My son asked if we could purchase cereal for his dad’s house too. I asked him if his dad has cereal or breakfast things. My son told me that his father normally just sleeps. That my son makes his own breakfast. He also makes his bed. While his dad is sleeping, he plays video games. This breaks my heart to hear this! I’m a bit frustrated because I recently found that once his father picks him up on Friday. He returns to work with our son. He doesn’t get off work until 10 PM at night. Our son has been up since 7 AM for kindergarten. In the last two visits, our son came home with hand, foot mouth disease, and the norovirus flu. I’m concerned about the upcoming Christmas holiday when he has a week with our son. I don’t know if he plans to work or take vacation time off.

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Time to go back to court! That’s scary.

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If he isn’t harming his son, let him be. He is doing his best. It may not be your version of parenting. But he has to work or you don’t get your payment. So let him love his son the best way he can. It’s better for your kid. Maybe adjust your visitation schedule to his off days instead.

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Ask him via text or email and get everything in WRITING.
Sounds like neglect, but I dont have all the details.
Hopefully for your sons sake, you go back to court

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You need to talk to him. Tell him that if his plan is to continue to work then you will have him. No way a child should have to sit during work hours and wait. And if not then maybe he should plan some fun activities to do.

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So I kinda have the same.boat however my.sons father lives with his parents. So my son says hes always with nanny or poppy. And daddy just leaves and goes to work. We dont have an agreement cause they help me every time I need it. And I dont make him pay child support through the courts because he hands me more in person than I’d get on paper. However my sons also 5 and I see his heart breaking more and more. I wish I had some advice but your son will see his true colors. If your worried about safety I’d go to court

Not everybody can just take vacation time and I’m sure you don’t have your son every second of every day, he attends school and probably daycare. It’s not a whole lot different. He shouldn’t be sleeping in the mornings though, that’s not cool. Definitely not neglect or abuse for a school aged kid to get up and make their bed or watch tv/video games for an hour or two though. I’ve taken my step daughter to class with me and she’s gone to work with her dad before. Part of being a parent is figuring things out and it sounds like he’s done just that during his time.

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I would just have a little chat with dad and without the child,and get his side

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You don’t have control over the home. He needs to work to provide. No one can control that. The sad part is that the child isn’t being cared for and if you believe this is a danger of some sort them speak directly to the father of your child. Voice your concerns with him and together discuss what can be done. Both if you are parents and together have to come up with a solution to an issue the child brought up. He needs Christmas with his dad. Please speak to him to ensure the child will be cared for and that he can enjoy his father. It isn’t in the same manner with you but know that there are so many single parents out there that don’t have a choice but to keep trucking. Kids will get ill and they don’t have to deal with backlash of the other parent so no one judges them. They don’t have help from the other parent and have to work ungodly hours and miss out on a lot due to work. My kid developed bronchitis as a baby and I had to keep working and keep on trying to keep him healthy. It’s hard but if you speak with him and only him then you will probably get some form is resolution.

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He gets off at 10pm? Of course he wants to sleep in. Your son is old enough to get some breakfast for himself and play quietly. It sounds like he is exhausted just like I am. My 6 year old would do the same on the weekends.

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Isnt it every kids dream to eat cereal and go play video games. Has he said he wants to not to that. Looks like your ex is just tired from working lots. Maybe you could change the pick up schedule to help around his work. Hand food and mouth is very contagious and so it most virus maybe talk about hand washing so to lessen the chance of getting anything else

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Also you gotta figure out truth vs. What kid will say. Mine have said their dad sleeps all day and no food…yet when i popped up with food…imgaine my shock. They figured it would get us back together

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I mean, he works. As long as your kid isn’t home alone, whats the issue? When you work and his father doesn’t, are you willing to give your child to his dad? And those things you can get from school or anywhere, it’s not really the dad’s fault. Not everyone can afford to take time off during vacation times. When my husband got my stepkids for his holiday I was able to stay home, he couldn’t. If he lost his job due to missing work, I’m sure it’ll be an issue then you not getting your CS. Work with him, but don’t just go for trying to take the kid away.

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Be cant help your son coming home with both viruses as they take a few days to affect the system, however I would message him and raise your concerns and tell him how your son is feeling, but of hes finishing at 10pm he may let be getting to bed till midnight and who’s looking after him whilst hes at work

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Sounds like no communication …

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So what’s the problem here?

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Worrying too much … Atleast he makes the effort …my kids would appreciate any second they could spend with their dad . But he don’t come around at all…

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  1. Coming home sick: Viruses and even bacterial infections can take 2-3 (sometimes longer) days to incubate. Your child is probably picking those things up from school. My oldest has brought home a cold and hand foot and mouth. It didn’t show up until sunday evening.

  2. Dad taking him to work/keeping him up late: it sounds like dad is trying and maybe doesn’t have a lot of options. I had to wake my (then) 2 year old at midnight to take him home. Didn’t really have a lot of options.

  3. Sleeping in. Well…here’s the questions. Does your son try to wake him up? Or does he let him be? Would dad wake up if your son really needed him for something? Are the doors locked? Does your kid have “safe” things to get for breakfast? (My special needs 6 year old is perfectly capable of “making” cereal or grabbing a breakfast bar).

What your child is saying may be true but it also may not be as bad as you’re thinking.

Talk to dad. Try to figure out exactly what’s going on. Be the grown up and offer to help if you can. Don’t go all ultimatum. My way or no way. Just because you wouldn’t do something a certain way doesn’t make it wrong.

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Wait, your son’s in kindergarten and this is happening?! Ya definitely time to either have a serious talk with dad or just go back to court. Just be careful because some parents would take it out on the kid as if they “snitched”… not saying this always happens but it does happen.

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I’m mom and my kids have to sit at work with me sometimes. There have been a couple times their bus got here before me n they don’t have keys at their age and had to wait for me to get there… Not even 5min, but if I heard that story from their dad’s house and it had nvr happened here. I know id be unjustifiably furious. We’re really just all doing the best we can.

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