I am concerned with my daughters tatrums but doctors are not: Thoughts?

My youngest is 3 (4 in December), this past year, we have been dealing with behavioral problems, and I need advice on when to know what’s normal and not. I have three older kids that range from 14-19, and I can honestly sit here and say that I’ve never seen a temper tantrum until my youngest. She is somewhat behind on speech, but every time I’ve brought it up to her doctor, they say she’s fine and probably just quiet because she has so many older siblings to talk to her. She was half potty trained and suddenly just stopped using the potty last month. (I think that part may have something to do with her stepsister visiting for the first time in a year) She screams. And I don’t mean just a squeak. She screams on the top of her lungs, loud enough that the neighbors two doors down can hear her. While she is screaming, she throws herself around and thrashes. There is no calming this kid down once we get to this point, and riding it out lately has been a 2 + hour ordeal. The worst is bedtime. I don’t know what else to do. I feel like her doctor doesn’t hear my concerns with her. Any advice is appreciated. My husband and I have five other teenaged kids between us and neither one of us have ever dealt with behavior like this

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She’s not alone with the teenagers, is she? I hope she’s not being mistreated by her siblings

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My daughter went through this at that same age. I had the same thoughts, my daughter needs “heads ups” doesn’t do welll with change, were a split family and her dads side has 3 older kids that his gf has, best advice I can say is- don’t get mad about the tantrums or show anger to her abojt the way she’s acting. Took awhile for me, to have many calm discussions ask why are you feeling like this, 30 mins before bedtime I’d have to give a notice like “hey in a few minutes we’re going to clean up” or brush our teeth. Hope that helps. It helped me, somewhat until things mellowed out. Don’t get down out yourself kids are tough sometimes!

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Get a different doctor. I hate when the doctors blame it on age or siblings.

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My son is autistic and recently diagnosed with Oppositional defiant disorder (ODD).Not saying that this is what your daughter has but that much of the behavior you described is what I witnessed in my son.

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Seek a second opinion. Demand evaluations if you are that concerned. You are her voice.

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My kids are all like this… My older two have adhd and bipolar and my youngest is autistic

If you want to reach out to me im going through this with my girl its awful we are waiting on home based services to come help and a evaluation for her

Sounds very much like her behaviours resemble autistic traits. Push the dr. Mention autism. Even request another doctor or to be referred to a specialist. (I don’t know how the medical world works in your country). But definitely don’t leave it unquestioned. If you feel your daughter isn’t age appropriate. (My 2 eldest kids were like this) delayed speech, regression with development, delayed development, violence, self harm behaviours during meltdown. Both have autism xx

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  1. If her speech is delayed the tantrums could be from frustration because she can’t communicate how she is feeling.

  2. If I were you I would get a referral to a speech therapist. Some insurances dont require a referral. Get her evaluated, you are the parent here, you do what you feel is best.

My daughter had colic and screamed in pain. I didn’t know what to do then a year later I saw she had a tongue tie. I asked her Pediatrician and he dismissed it. Then at her 3 year appointment last year I told them I thought she had sensory issues with clothes, they dismissed me saying it was a phase.

Now I am here with an almost 4 year old who has been diagnosed with SPD and in OT. Not because my Pediatrician told me, but because I reached my breaking point and took it into my own hands because my daughter really needed help and I did too.

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No. Not normal. Need a different doctor.

My daughter is not like that and she seems easier (not meaning to be offensive) but she was diagnosed with ADHD/ODD

Definitely get a second opinion. I would find a behavior specialist and not just a pediatrician.

Being behind on speech or lack of speech can cause huge behavioral
Issues because she is struggling to verbalize her emotions and feelings. If she can’t verbalize what is going on or what she needs she will end up acting out. My son was a huge cry baby and would throw himself out on the floor screaming. Once his speech picked up he verbalized his feelings and what’s going on instead of having a full blown tantrum. Seek out an evaluation from a speech therapist, they will be able to tell you if it’s speech or sensory issues or both. Get a 2nd opinion from a different doctor bc many times you need a referral from doc to get a speech therapy evaluation.

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Record it for the doctor

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As a parent, are you giving her enough attention because that could be the reason or someone is bullying her when you are not looking. My granddaughter started a tantrum and insteadve of giving up, I started hugging and kissing them. I’m a single grandparent raising 2 little girls who are the same age as your daughter. I know it can get tiring because you have other children. Set aside for her time with you. If someone is doing that to her, you need to set some boundaries for the bully. In the long run, she going to be a mad child. If she doesnt want to potty train then dont force it on her as well. She is still a baby…

Second opinion for sure, she definitely sounds like she has some autistic traits, and early detection is key to change the behaviors and help her express herself

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My 4 year old is like this when he gets mad he screams and kicks anything in his path… and have been told he needs to get evaluated for speech… not sure if it’s a “terrible 4” or what

It’s normal all my children has done this and only one hand to go to Speech therapy and it’s bucse the brain go faster then want they can say so they get Frustrated very easily when you don’t understand them or what they want to try to say good luck mama it’s normal

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She is having a hard time communicating. Get a different doctor and get a referral to a speech therapist. And also a referral to get her evaluated, but I honestly think the tantrums are because she’s having a hard time communicating and maybe a little with processing everything around her. I also hope that is all and that no one else there is mistreating her.

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