I am considering changing my daughters name due to a fall out with my friend: Advice?

My daughter is almost eight months old. We’ve had a really rough start to her first year of life. She’s had four serious surgeries, and now our life is finally starting to settle down with doctors’ visits and whatnot. Before I had my daughter, I had a really close friend who I absolutely adored and trusted. We were friends for over seven years. After I had my daughter, while my daughter was in the NICU, I confided in that friend that I was going through a hard time not only with my daughter being in the hospital but also with postpartum. I thought I could talk to her because she came to me when she had postpartum, and I did everything I could to lift her spirits (calling her every day to tell her I loved her, buying concert tickets, etc.). I was wrong. She told me to get over it and that she was a single mom who had too much on her plate to worry about what I had going on. I was crushed. We are no longer friends because she was completely insensitive and horrible to me in the end. The thing is… my eight-month-old daughter has her first name as her middle name, and every time I think of having to explain to my daughter how we came up with her name, I cringe. I feel like I made a huge mistake naming her middle name after someone who I had no idea was so heartless and cruel during a time when my daughter and I needed the love and support of a friend. I’ve thought about going to get her name changed and just giving her my first name as her middle name, but I don’t know if that’d be too confusing for others or if it’s worth it? What would you do?


If you’re going to change her name, do it now before she learns her name or starts school.


If the name is going to bother you that much change it. She’s young enough so she’ll never know


Stop being petty
You gave her the name for a reason because obviously you felt good doing so. Regardless as to how things ended up leave it alone


She’s only eight months old so I would go change it now. Easy process.


While I do understand your situation I honestly wouldn’t change it. If it would be the last name yes, but middle name no. It gets rarely used anyway. Just tell her how it is when she’s old enough to understand. Because despite you not being friends now - your friend was once close to you and things like that happen in life.


Personally I would change it immediately. Don’t wait


As someone who had their name changed because of spiteful parents …Born Brandi with no middle name changed to Stephanie Brandon over night …who did not choose right when give ONE opportunity …Do not do this. Own your story and tell her you loved your best friend for years she was an amazing woman with a strong heart but we grew apart. 🤷. Sorry but changing it will make the story even worse when she sees all her birth stuff…babybooks hospital.


Change it. She’s young. You’ll feel better and she deserves a better name. :slightly_smiling_face:


Do what feels right for you.
But I do agree that if you choose to keep the original name do it now as to not cause issues later. Sometime we make decisions and realize it was a bad idea. But we are able to correct them. In the end only you can decide if your gonna be ok calling your child this name… Ijs


I would go to court and have her name changed


Really not a big deal… You could just say you picked a random name you liked


Leave it and when she asks tell her you liked the name. No lie there.


Change it before she turn a year old. The process is faster and easier.


If it’s just the middle name then I say do what you feel is right. If it was her first name I’d tell you to leave it alone. At such a young age she doesn’t know her middle name so it’s up to you if you feel so strongly about a name to change it. You never have to tell her you named her after your friend. You could tell her you just liked the name. So it’s up to you. It sounds like you already made the decision but want people to agree with your decision.


You could come up with a different reason to why you chose her name. I think to change it for this reason is petty and doesn’t warrant the chang. next thing you know you’re going to make up with her and you’ve already made the change. Seems very drastic and dramatic. Not like it’s her first name… the reason behind it could be overlooked


Explain that she is named after someone who taught you a great lesson. Turn it into something positive. People come into our life’s just when we need them too. I’m a firm believer in that. Sucks the friendship didn’t last but look at the takeaway.


Knowing her name would be helpful :smiley:

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Not everyone is meant to be in your life forever. Nothing wrong with honoring the bond that you had once upon a time.


Same exact thing happened to me had a falling out with my friend, my
Daughter is 20 and still has that “friends” 1st name as her middle name. She actually knows this “friend” as her father maintained a slight friendship with the women. My daughter knows she is named after her but it honestly is just a name, the value of of it went away when the friendship died. I actually like my daughters middle name and we have a slight running joke by calling her by a boy name that is similar to her middle name. She even has her middle name on social media as the boy name we call her, we rarely use her middle name except for official documents. I promise the hurt you feel from your “friend” will pass with time and your daughters name won’t really be associated with that after time…