I am filing for divorce and need advice: Help?

My husband and I are filing for divorce. I’ve been a stay at home mom for five years. 2 kids. 3&2. He is very controlling over money and gripes and complains over everything I say or do. I am applying for legal aid to help with divorce since I have no money, and he is not willing to pay for one. I need encouragement to get through this and ideas on custody arrangements since he works out of town for weeks at a time… thank you.

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How can U be a stay at home mum for that long when your kids aren’t even that old sorry just confused :joy:

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Why would he pay for YOUR lawyer? :woman_facepalming:

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I filed first and automatically got him to pay. Legal aid would not help me because divorce was not a crime I needed defended for. I did get do it yourself divorce paperwork from legal aid though.

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How were you a stay at home MOM for 5 years and your oldest is only 3… You were a stay at home wofe for 2 years and then became a mother… And also sometimes legal aid does not help because its not a crime you have to get a lawyer

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Get a lawyer now. Go take 1/2 the money out of your bank accounts. Not sure where you live here in Cali we get half of everything

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If he is a good father than you will have to give him just as much time with then as you.

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I can understand him being controlling over money he’s the only one who works! How are things financially? He could be stressed, I was a stay at home mom for a year, but when things got tough I found me a job, I work weekends and he works during the week. We make it work.

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I agree about the money in the account, and you can file and ask the fee to be waived because you have no income. Try to come up with a somewhat agreeable arrangement. But remember you always ask for more and then negotiate down to what you really want.

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You file first is key to getting temporary custody and having him pay court costs. As far as visitation, the standard is every other weekend and a week might or two, and any agreed upon times you want beyond that. You need a job that shows you are able to support the kids or he will get custody.

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If you are the one wanting the divorce, why should he pay for your lawyer? Also, if the only things he is doing is controlling the money and complains how about try counseling. There may be more going in here, just seems everyone’s first “go to” is divorce.

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Alot of states first off file for indignant legal aid in most states dont help inless its the first time to reopen good luck tho with the custody thats gunna b a difficult one

file first, get a lawyer & make him pay for them. DO NOT DO THIS WITHOUT A LAWYER OR HE’LL RAKE YOU OVER THE COALS!!!

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Yeah if you have a joint account, take half before he takes it, and use that to pay for a lawyer. I got to keep the home, he chose to move out. I also got a job, i was very open during the interview about my situation, i had to find childcare, which my ex was responsible for half the costs til he began paying child support. No one is going to support you to continue being a stay at home mom unless you move in with family and they support you… but honestly you’ll need a job to show you can support yourself, the kids, and provide a stable living. Especially if he insists on joint custody, or tries fighting you for full custody, but they won’t consider giving him full custody if you can prove that you can provide the stability they need.

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You can file it yourself online in most places. I would suggest you do it asap since he wants to play with the money situation. Make sure he cant drain the accounts.

If you are in Texas if you get med or fs you fill out a paper and you won’t have to pay or pay as much

I’m not going to lie, I’m really glad I was not the only one trying to figure out how she was a stay-at-home mom for 5 years when the oldest child is only three. Granted we don’t know the circumstances if a child was lost but thankfully I’m not the only one that question that time span…

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Look into hidden assets too!

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Why are people questioning why she has never worked. For one maybe she didn’t have to, second maybe her husband didn’t want her too. I didn’t when my kids was little before school or even high school, I was able to be mom. Some women are fortunate.

they’re going to want to see you working and pretty well off on your own before they give you the kids, they want to make sure that you are capable of handling it all!