I am having issues with my husbands godfather: Advice?

So my husband’s godparent came into town, he’s out of state about 8 hours away. The first time I ever met him, he came on my first Mother’s Day and took my husband out for a 3 hour movie. He invited me, but I had just had our baby, so I wasn’t interested. I didn’t want to be rude and let alone my husband felt really bad too, but I was like hey, you haven’t seen him in a while, just go! I was upset, but I always thought we could celebrate another time. We had no idea he was coming, he just texted my husband and said hey I’m in town let’s watch a movie! The second time he came down, he didn’t have a place to stay. We didn’t have a place for him at the time we lived with the family. So my husband had to find a place he could stay. That made me upset only because why would he put himself in that position? He knew we couldn’t have him stay with us… but I guess he wanted to visit that badly. The third time, he came for my daughter’s birthday party. He stayed with us because now we have a place. However, it’s only a one-bedroom. He came for the birthday party and stayed 3 days after. That kind of bothered me because we both had work and our baby was at the sitters. He would just be at the house until we got home and would want to go out and do something. I had just planned my baby’s birthday party, so I was exhausted, and all the hours I worked, I was worn out! I got home and had already planned to make dinner, give my daughter a bath, and do laundry. But he INSISTED we go out; I told him I’m sorry I just have to clean and give her a bath, right now isn’t a good time. He sighed and stated that I’m always busy, and he just wanted to spend time with me. I’m a cashier, so I spend all day smiling and talking so I really just wanted to be home… I felt bad, but we had a great time at my baby’s birthday. That’s all he was coming for… let alone he didn’t even tell us he was staying longer. Just did. Fast forward a few days ago, he was driving through town and came to visit. He stayed a night— I didn’t mind. However he has a really bad back or he got hurt, something like that so he needs to sleep on a bed. Not the couch. So of course I tell him to sleep on my bed with my husband. I’ll sleep in the living room. It was only one night, I thought, so I was like, eh, it’s okay. I’ll just watch tv and crash out. Next day, I was on the phone with my mom and she wanted to go check a car out on Friday. So I told her yeah I can go with you! After the phone call, he asked me, do you want me to go check it out with you guys? So I took that as in he’s staying until Friday? I thought only 1 night? So I started to become annoyed; I wasn’t going to sleep on the couch again. Turns out I slept on the couch again. My baby woke up in the middle of the night, and I went into my baby’s rooms only to see he was cradling her. I was sad because my daughter was screaming, I’m the one who comforts her in the middle of the night because my husband is a heavy sleeper and I love to, I’m a mom. So I was sad, irritated and weirded out. It was 4am. Now my husband left for work around 7am. And I had work at 9am. I went to my baby’s crib, and it was empty. I was worried I was looking everywhere. My husband’s godparent took my baby into bed with him after my husband left. I was furious. He is always traveling and talks about how tired he is. Why would he take my baby into bed!?! Without asking?!? Why was that necessary?!! At this point I was mad. He had overstayed and crossed a boundary. Then he insisted we needed to go get a Christmas tree because my husband and him had that tradition when he was a kid. I said kindly, I would love to, but we’re going this weekend! My husband had the day off, finally, so we were going to make it a date. We already made plans. His godfather kept asking even after I had said no… He took it to my husband and my his said the same thing, we already made plans. Then his godfather asked if he could stay for Christmas. But we’re leaving out of town for Christmas. So my husband told him that and he said okay, very sadly and tried to convince him to stay. But we made this plan and reservation 5 months ago. His godfather doesn’t take no for an answer, and if he does, he will make you feel bad for it. He doesn’t ask permission before he does something like staying another night or going into my baby’s room. I’ve never had someone overstay. I’ve never really even got to meet the guy or know him, so yes, I am uncomfortable when he enters my daughter’s room. It’s not helpful; it worries me. He’s an old school. I put my baby in the car seat and he suggested that I face my baby forward. I won’t and can’t because my baby is still little. There’s just so much that comes into play, and I try to be the nicest. My husband works a lot, so it’s often that I have to deal with this. He went home yesterday because my husband told him he’s going to be working overtime so he won’t be home, so he got the hint and left. I just had to vent. Comment? opinion?

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Child. I would’ve thrown him out the moment you said “he took my baby to bed”. Just throw him all away. I’m too much of a mama bear for that mess.

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BOTH of yous.
Nobody grabs baby from bed, but yous. Nobody lays down with baby, but yous.

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First off why dont you speak tf up!? That’s fuckin weird that he had your baby in the bed with him without your permission! I hope you checked your child! Like I’m sorry but I see all these women who ask questions and want advice and most of the damn time it’s you not speaking up and LETTING PEOPLE DO INAPPROPRIATE THINGS WHEN IT COMES TO YOUR CHILDREN! How is that not enough to tell someone off? You saying oh now that made me mad but you didny say shit? So damn annoying! I’d beat someone’s ass for having my child in the bed with them without my permission!

He sounds like an overbearing pain in the ass. But on the other hand your husband must be very important to him and he wants to be in your family’s life. I do think he overstepped by taking the baby into bed with him, that’s weird. Did he raise children of his own? If you don’t speak up and say that’s not okay then you can only blame yourself if it happens again.

Nobody treats you any way that you don’t allow. Stand up for your family since your husband won’t.

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I am getting stressed out just reading this…

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He sounds lonely, and like he just wants to be included. Yes, boundaries were crossed. Was he aware of the boundaries?

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U need 2 have ur hubby have a talk with him. He’s taking advantage of u both.

I totally agree with him over stepping boundaries and over staying his welcome…but I also get the impression he is old and lonely and wants to be included in what family he feels he has left. I can’t tell from the bit that is given if he has other family members. Maybe talk to your husband about setting some SERIOUS boundaries but also try to include him more in your family functions. For him to live 8 hours away and make that drive it shows he’s missing something :woman_shrugging::woman_shrugging::woman_shrugging:

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At first I was going to say what’s the big deal over a movie. But the more I read the more I wanted to yell “KICK! HIM! OUT!” Your husband needs to step in but he won’t. Put on your big girl panties and put your foot down.

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Nope, absolutely not. He’s grossly crossed boundaries and obviously doesn’t respect you, your home or your boundaries. No ma’am. He would no longer be allowed in my home period. Him and your husband can go on their odd dates out of the home and call it a day.

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So many things wrong with what he’s doing but taking your baby from their bed hell no girl. Do not let him back in your house and if he does show up tell him straight that he is not staying over nite

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I didn’t finish reading this. You need to set some FIRM, CLEAR boundaries with him asap.

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Seriously! He sounds like a pedophile

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Well first off get to know the man. Take part in things if you do not get to know him and your husband and him seem close you will most likely push your husband away. Any help from family is amazing you seem to be pushing it away. Which is a red flag for me. Why do you not want family help? And maybe if you were more open to people being around you you wouldn’t have sooo many issues with this guy. He seems he has boundary issues or maybe he is lonely but before you judge get to know the man. Geez

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Unpopular opinion: i dont see a big problem with him wanting to help with the baby. He probably thought he was helping you out.
However, No means no and i wouldn’t like him showing up and staying long…but seems like he loves your husband like a son which is why he wants to be included in everything yall do. I’m sure he means nothing by it when helping out with the baby. However inviting himself over and trying to change plans is rude…

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Tell him from now on until you guys get a bigger place you and your husband can’t host him while he’s in town visiting because it just becomes too much in such a little space.

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I got stressed reading your post, follow your INTUITION I would not let ANYONE touch my child! He is testing your boundaries so he can slowly disrespect you completely. Kick him the hell out and tell him he needs to find a hobby or get his own family smh

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Don’t like the sound of him ,not good kick him to the Curb quick ,tell your husband what you think before it’s to late

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