I am not a fan of my husbands friend: Advice?

My husband started reconnecting with a childhood friend. When my husband sent him a message, he got weird responses like “what do you want?” Not really what you’d expect from an old friend. This is where it gets strange. My husband gets a friend request from a fake account that I found out is this old friend. He was added and quickly deleted. After my husband mentioned he’d recently gotten out of prison, I did some digging, and he has a LONG record. He beat up two girlfriends, has charged for theft and intimidation, and a long history of drug use. I brought it up to my husband that this guy seems like a bad guy, and he said: “No, I grew up with him.” We’re talking 30+yrs since they were best friends. I don’t feel like this guy is a good company to keep, but I don’t want to flat out say, “well, you aren’t going to be friends, and that’s that!” But my husband is special needs…so getting him to understand is rough. IDK what to do or say without hurting his feelings. I just don’t want him to end up ruining everything we’ve built together

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I think your husband is lonely and wants a buddy . They click and he probably just needs male energy.

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I would explain and show him everything you found and tell him your feelings on it and why you dont feel comfortable or safe maybe. And set boundaries. If he wants to hang out with him you dont want him in your home. Things like that.

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I am sure all rapist and murders had friends at one point to. Fuck that guy

I mean at this age. U see people catch up and don’t see them again forever.

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Tell him “you can be friends with him but not at the house” my husband has FAS and he loves the criminals and that’s what I tell him about almost all his friends because I work my ass off and my children live here so they’re not going to find drugs and I’m not having my things stolen

I’m not meaning to see insensitive but what do you mean by he’s special needs?

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My husband has asperger’s and the best way to get him to understand when he’s not is to just be straight up. Give him the exact reasons, don’t sugarcoat.

But before all that be sure this is something worth speaking up on. Reconnecting with someone doesn’t necessarily mean that they’ll be friends doing stuff together and all that. They could just be catching up and decide to continue keeping up with each other on Facebook. It might be wise to wait to say something until he tries to go hang out with him or invite him over. Then you have every right to voice your concerns.

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People saying he’s lonely or needs male energy you don’t know if this man has more friends then that? But i agree with Brooklyn set boundaries if you can. Just tell him how you feel uncomfortable with his history. You never know what a person is capable of

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My husband has a friend who isn’t the greatest guy has charges and is in and our of jail but he keeps that kind of life style away from us when he visits my husband. He actually is a really nice guy just stuck in the street life.

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How can u keep a gr o wn man frim speaking to someone he knew long before u

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Talk w/him about safe boundaries, for him and you. You don’t want this old friend reconnecting for the wrong reasons. Best of luck!

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Hes a childhood friend I’m sure your husband is mature enough not to involve himself in his friends activities and who knows record or not he couldve changed
Your judging someone on their past which is wrong

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You sound controlling…sounds like you throw the special needs around and wouldn’t doubt you tell him he’s special needs…your husband is not a child and a friend will not cause you to lose nothing your husband don’t want to lose…you cannot blame others for ones actions

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If u have children I would absolutely not permit him around your family.

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Give the guy a chance. Meet him in person. He might become a good friend to you also. Life is crazy.

Doesn’t sound like this friend of his wants him to be around. Be straight up with your husband how you feel and maybe invite the friend over one night and see how things go. They haven’t been friends for along time and people change and some for the good but some for the bad. He’s got a long record so just be careful.

I do find this all very concerning and I absolutely understand where you are coming from. You need to be blunt with him and show him everything you have found. Speak to the police and see if someone could maybe talk to your husband and explain this guys history. Your husband is vulnerable and it’s amazing he has you to look out for him. Good luck

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Special needs or not … If he’s old enough and capable enough to have a relationship with you … He’s old enough to pick his own friends.

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What if things were the other way around ?? Would you feel the same???