I am not sexually attracted to my husband anymore: What should I do?

What would you do if you’re not sexually attracted to your spouse anymore? I’ve been with my SO for almost 4 years. We are 15 years apart from each other (He is older). He is a very handsome attractive man but sexually ever since our miscarriage, it isn’t there for me anymore. Fairly quick after our miscarriage, we got pregnant again. Emotionally I wasn’t ready. I know relationships ain’t only about the sexual stuff. We have great chemistry, and our relationship is good, most of the time. Mentally I don’t think he is good for me; he would say differently. There is a lot more to our relationship that he would say there is. He’s put me through one hell of 4 years. Honestly, I should have run the first few months we were together. Thing’s changed, and thing’s happened that I didn’t see before we got together, that I can’t seem to get past. I’m emotionally drained. He is an amazing father, though! I would never discredit him on that. He’s a very, very sexual person always wanting something; he is super attracted to me, he can’t come by me or walk by me without touching something on my body. Sometimes it gets a little too much. We have intercourse, maybe 2-3 times a month. We are in our 3rd pregnancy; our 1st daughter will be two years old soon. 2nd pregnancy we lost, & currently 3rd I’m at 23 weeks. I would never go beyond our trust & betray him with anyone else. I was and am not a big sexual person, but when we do have intercourse or even foreplay, I see myself just wanting him to be done after the first 20 minutes. He can go for 1-2 hours. I don’t know if this feeling will change or come back, but it’s been nine months already. I don’t know if I should tell him I’m not sexually attracted to him anymore or wait until after our child is born to see if it comes back. I’m at a loss. I love and care about him very deeply and don’t want to hurt him.

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Maybe be patient a little longer? To be honest i would not be into it after 20 minutes. :joy:

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Why it take so long . Wtf

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I’m sorry but this is total bullshit. Holy cow. You have this big of an issue with him then go to him telling him how you feel. It’s not that hard.

Pregnancy changes alot about you physically and mentally. Dont make any quick judgment calls yet. My drive dropped dramatically when pregnant. I just didnt have the energy for it. But be honest tell him your just not feeling it lately.

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If you don’t want to have sex, tell him no. If you don’t want him to touch you, tell him not to touch you. Pregnancy hormones can 100% make you disinterested in sex, and that’s ok.

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Wait till after the baby is born. Hormones change alot with being pregnant. An after a miscarriage it’s understandable y u wouldn’t feel up to having sex. Just give it some time an see what happens

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Go to a date with him, have a day or two to rest with him. Have someone to watch the little one while you two have fun :blush:. Maybe you are just stressed and overwhelmed

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Id say wait it out. Pregnancy changes your hormones so much. If after the baby is born and you cant rekindle the flame, then it’s time to cut ties.

My only advice is to be open & honest w/ him about your feelings.
Consider getting a therapist or marriage Counsoler.

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Ask for a hall pass and he can have one too

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Honestly it’s probably hormones and exhaustion. Also, after having a child hanging on me ALL DAY LONG the last thing I wanted was my partner to touch me even more. I just wanted some time to myself to refresh. Now that my kids are a little older I’m back to my usual self.

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Honestly, if you are saying you should have left after the first few months and the last 4 years have been hell, why are you wondering if you should leave because of sex. If you want sex again is the other stuff gonna change? Makes no sense!! Try counseling but it sounds like you already know what would be right for you. Good luck.

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I would wait till till baby is born … pregnancy could have a lot to do with it.

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Could be the pregnancy hormones. I will admit though 1 to 2 hours? Maybe you just need to be open and discuss it with him.

I felt the same way about the not sex drive attractive just while I was pregnant as well but it did come back a few months after my child was born just have patience

I’m sorry I can’t and won’t be with some I’m not sexually attracted too. Nope

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If you enjoyed your sex life before your child was born, it could be depression from your lost pregnancy and hormones from your current pregnancy, I suggest you talk to your husband and your doctor.

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Some of these responses are shameful. It surely is due to horomones. Please talk to your Dr. What you’re experiencing isn’t abnormal. Don’t be afraid to talk about it. Having a miscarriage is a horrible thing to go through. And everything about the body is chemical. It sounds like you’re in your head too much, I know what that’s like, even that can kill libido. Please reach out to your dr, there are things that can be done.

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I am so sorry for your loss. I lost my first baby at 12 weeks and it was the worst hell Ive ever experienced so I understand. Also HATED sex during my last pregnancy. It was such a chore but I did it to please my husband and tried to shield him from my lack of interest. But I was just so tired and in pain all the time, and he figured it out and backed off. My 2nd son is 3 months now and things are back to normal. Give it time honey.

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