I am on the fence about divorce: Advice?

I’ve been on the fence of whether I want a divorce or not. My husband is the best dad and a great husband, except for a few things. We’ve communicated over and over what we want from each other, and it hasn’t changed. I do everything from the cooking, cleaning, laundry, handling everything with our kids, grocery shopping, paying half the bills, and he maybe cooks once in a while and takes the trash out but moans about it. He is not affectionate whatsoever, and I’ve made it clear that I would like him to try and be more affectionate. I always initiate sex, and if I get lucky, it’s once a week because he is never in the mood. We would never talk or cuddle or kiss if I were just to stop trying. Recently we have discussed changing shifts at work because he is always so exhausted, which is fine whatever, but we would only see each other between 11 pm and 6 am during the weekdays, and we would be off on the weekends. Right now, we have weekday evenings together, and we’re off on the weekends. So he would have no family time in the evenings but on weekends, no dinner with the family during the weekdays, no going to kids sports events with me, and he is fine with that. The only thing he is concerned with is his usual Friday nights out with his friends, which he wouldn’t be able to do anymore. He doesn’t want a divorce, and he knows I’m on my last straw and always convinces me to stay. What would you do?

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YouI deserve better :wink:

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Counseling first always :pray:t3:

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If he’s a Capricorn forget it that’s they way they are. But she their very loyal

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So what makes him a great husband? What makes him a great dad? Maybe I dont know the meaning of great!

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I don’t know what i would do…i would go ask everyone else! :roll_eyes:

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Why would he want a divorce when he has you doing all house work, chores and cooking… personally I can’t class a man who can’t pull his weight and claims to be too exhausted to meeting needs a ‘good husband’ :thinking:

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Leave him and get him for alimony.

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Divorce doesn’t magically make your life perfect. Divorce is hard and it sucks, but so doesn’t living unhappily.

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Seems like your doing it all on your own as it is… do what makes you happy

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Sounds like my exhusband girl lol LEAVE!! You will be happier without him and if and when you’re ready, there will be a man out there that is everything you ask for and more :heart:

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Oh good gravy. You want a divorce over Petty crap. Maybe grow up.

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Sounds like he has it too easy and is taking you for granted. If you get a divorce he has to clean his own house and take care of the kids on his own half the time. Put you first, or nobody else will.

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Sounds like If you leave the only thing that will be any different is you won’t have to listen to him bicker, and you’d just have to pay all the bills ?!

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Maybe he’s depressed.??

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i love how everyone says give up. that’s so easy to do now. now, relationship are bought Walmart. can return it if you don’t like it.

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Sounds like you are normal husband and wife/ mommy daddy to me. That’s how a wonderful life long marriage is usually. It not always romantic and butterflies being husband and wife takes a lot of work but it’s love and understand that holds it together. You can’t give up just because it not always a honeymoon. It’s not always 50/50 but that’s okay if you love each other when you are not on your best day he will have your back. It’s the little things that Count.

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Write out a list of everything that makes him a good husband and father. Then write out a list of everything you think makes him a bad husband and father. Have him write out a list of his own of your good and your bad. Take those lists to couple’s therapy and try working through them.

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Mine works 3rd shift. I deal with the kids, errands, bills and so on. He does help, i may get attitude but he still does it. Sometimes he’s completely exhausted. He’s also doesn’t show his emtions and doesn’t start sex most times. I mean you either want to divorce him or you don’t. There is no on the fence about it

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