I am over this situaiton with my boyfriend: Thoughts?

I’m over my situation with my boyfriend. We’ve been together for eight years. We have our first baby, who is one. He does have a younger teenager from a previous relationship. A little backstory, his child is getting out of control. It started with little lies… now big lies, sneaking around, dirty videos, drinking… and when I mean lies, I mean huge elaborate stories that make you question one’s character. But he allows the manipulation, and parents have even expressed their concern to us about it. Well, my boyfriend has daddy guilt. I almost feel like it’s narcissistic. I seriously do everything in which I love!!! But I’m practically a single parent with a roommate. Not once bought diapers, paid for doctors, clothes… nothing. He won’t even grocery shop. I never changed a diaper…He’s not helped with Christmas or birthday but then will go and spend hundreds on his first child. And I even buy his child things because that’s just what you do. But Like are you kidding me? I don’t get it. He only acts happy when his other child is around, which is about once a month. I’m so done doing anything for him. Why should I help him and his child when he doesn’t even help me with our OWN child? Or even our relationship. I think it’s time to leave so my baby isn’t emotionally scarred from the damage he’s causing.

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Have you talked to him, it’s hard being a weekend or less parent. He may be compensating and not realizing he is leaving you and other kiddo out :woman_shrugging:t2:

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Why would u even let him not pay for anything I mean its his child yall have too so why don’t u demand her buys stuff for him? I mean i would and also watch him and take care of his needs or what do u want him for? Like u said a roommate? Gtfoh you don’t need that in your life ur practically doing it all by yourself so you know the answer get out now before ur baby grows and starts noticing the difference he makes

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What you allow will continue. Unless you communicate boundaries and standards, he may not even realize that you’re feeling a burden from it. It seems obvious when you write it out, but he may not even fully be aware of what his role needs to be as a parent as his experience has only been part time with his older child. I’d sit down and tell him that he’s missing out on parenting your child together while he’s waiting around for the next opportunity to be a parent to his oldest. I think both kids are equally important. But he needs to know that his role needs to be equally important to both of them as well.

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You answered your own question. It’s time to go. I know it’s hard and change is scary and seems daunting but since you’re already self sufficient it seems to me this would be nothing but beneficial to you and your child. Throw the whole man out girl. You deserve better.

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Definitely time to leave girl i stayed in relationships way longer then I should have and the damage it has caused my kids and myself is not good

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Take ur baby and run away fast and far

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I get the not contributing or any of that, but your mindset of not helping him and his kid is just as toxic

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Take your baby and leave.
Those men never change and they will take as much as they can until they leave you dry.

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Yep, time to pack it in honey…you are a single parent an you definitely don’t need a deadbeat father to take care of either. Good luck.

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Address it, if he doesn’t change then leave. At the end of the day, all you can do is try. If he doesn’t change then there’s your answer. Also sounds like dad needs to talk to oldest child’s mother and put her in some type of therapy or give her a taste of reality. Get her for unruly. She’ll learn her lesson.

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My mom and step dad went through something like this sort of! My step dad at one time treated his kid like gold! would make sure he’s kid got everything and if we got something we needed, he wanted to know what he’s kid was getting! It was on going! My mom got fed up one day and my mom and us kids took a trip out of state! Every so often she would call and my step dad would say, we are having a great time! Stay away as long as you want! Then it was like 3 weeks! And my step dad called my mom, and said are you ever coming home?? He got the point and things got a lot better!

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Time to leave… It’s not gonna change. What you allow, will continue

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You are better off without him! You don’t want to raise your son and see that this behavior is “ok” …wash your hands of him! (You deserve better than him and so does your son…been there done that)

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Oh it’s time to leave that very toxic situation and behavior. Get out while you still can.

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This sounds just like my sons father. I had many talks with him about it. We set up a expanding file folder with different sections like phone bill, rent, groceries, gas, his lunch money, things for the kids, savings and then extras. That seemed to help a lot. But I had to keep on top of it. We eventually broke up cause he couldn’t keep a job. I thought it would be harder but honestly it’s nice having one less person to keep track of

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You would probably be smart to leave. It doesn’t sound like a healthy situation

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Time to get the heck out of that situation, and be sure to get a lawyer and make him pay child support.

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As said above, what you allow will continue. If things don’t change after a talk then I’d say you know what to do.

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Run now… from experience it gets worse

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