I am pregnant and in love with two different people: Advice?

So I put myself in a situation… my significant other and I have been on a break since after the pandemic started. We never discussed what that meant. But the reason was that I needed to focus on myself, and I felt like things just changed. It was a lot of stress. I have a daughter with special needs who was out of school for a year; she’s had no support staff since September of last year. My S/O works overnights. A roommate moved in, who’ve we know for years, and I was involved with in the past, which My S/O knew. We never discussed seeing other people… but I have been. I am now pregnant and know it’s the other person’s. I’m confused. I love both people. My S/O is amazing with my daughter, and I don’t want to take her out of her home. I have not told him I’m pregnant yet, waiting a couple more weeks until I’m past the first trimester. Please no judgment because I have not shared all of the situations. I just honestly need advice… and this is hard holding in.

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You just need to be honest with both of them and then take some time to reflect

I don’t see how you can be in love with two people. If you were in love with the first person, you wouldn’t have needed nor wanted anything from the second person. You shouldn’t stay with the first person over your daughter, and the first person should know you’re pregnant. That’s not very fair to them.

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If you really loved the first there wouldn’t be a 2nd.

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You need to tell him. Right now, not later. You made a choice to sleep with someone not knowing if that was okay with the set up your have with your spouse. You can’t change the past you can only move forward. He’s the one that gets to decide how he wants to move forward. He has that right since you made a joint decision with out him. You made a bad decision because of the mental space you were in, that I have no doubt was next leave stressful. It happens, no one’s perfect. However it’s time to own up to it. It’s will all be okay in the end. It will be stressful while everyone works out their emotions. Sounds like you guys aren’t living together right now anyways so you will just proceed how you have been during the separation but permanently if it goes in that direction. Just because your divorce doesn’t mean he can’t be involved with his daughter.

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You don’t cheat if you really love someone. So no you don’t love them both.

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I was with a guy for 5 years…we took a break.
I ended up getting pregnant with just an old friend I was dating -nothing serious was expected to come by that relationship.
When I told my ex (I DID still love him) he hung up and never ever spoke to me again.

My heart & his was broken . I was so angry at myself.

Fast forward 9 years later…my husband now of 5 years has adopted my now 8 year old and we have kids together.

At the time my heart was broken (even thought it was my own doing) but today, we are all good & very happy.

Tell him & what happens happens. There are consequences you must face. But everything will be ok in the long run.

Good luck :heart:

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Children are resilient, your daughter will be okay. It will never work between you and your s/o if you’re only with him because he’s amazing with your daughter. It’s time to pull up your big girl panties and do the right thing: tell your s/o the truth. It may hurt, but better to do it now than prolong the inevitable.

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Girl you don’t love neither of them. You’re just bored lol

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You are not in love with your significant other. If you were in love with your significant other you would not of done what you did. It sounds like you initiated going on a break and he had the idea you were working on the relationship during this break and you decided to sleep with other people without discussing what the break entailed to him. Honestly it sounds like you kinda wanted to see other people in the first place?? I hope I am not coming across rude I am just basing my opinion on your post. That being said you need to tell him the truth. If you truly cared for him you would not even form the idea of loving someone else. I also do not think you should wait the few weeks after your first trimester… I feel you are waiting until after the first trimester is done to tell him because you want to make sure you keep the baby… regardless if you do or not he needs to know. (I hope that didn’t sound insensitive) but you need to. I would want to know if I was in his position.

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I think u love the second guy more. And now ur having a baby with him. It’s super awkward but now u just have to tell the guy that he’s gonna be a dad. Tell the s/o And u need to break it off with guy #1 if that’s what u want. Cuz things were already complicated and messed up with him so u need to chose urself. Ur daughter will survive and just wants to to be loved and happy. I don’t judge u. U did the right thing breaking it off cuz u weren’t happy or secure in that relationship. Someone one is gonna have to move out.
But overall it wasn’t wise to bring an ex to live with u. Sometimes just don’t realize that ur over him and that’s why it’s like a rule not to live with ur ex. Overall it may be

Honey…he knows now

Get an abortion or something

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I’ve always heard that if you think you’re in love with two different people… choose the second one because if you really loved the first one, you never would’ve fell in love with anyone else.

Just be honest. The sooner the better. Guilt can eat at you and cause stress. Consequences will arise but at least it’ll be over and done with.

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Just be honest n deal with d consequences ur in a situation u can’t control and u got urself der so nows d time 2 confess best of luck :heart:

Leave the first guy. If you loved him you wouldn’t have slept with anyone else.

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You never loved your “SO”.
You screwed up, so now man up and talk to him. Stop playing him.

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If you loved your so you wouldn’t had slept with someone else and the fact you’re trying to justify it is disgusting

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You’ll probably end up feeling and talking this one out with your SO. Sometimes these things do happen and while it sucks. We work with what we have. He may make the decision to move on from you. He may want to work it out. But if YOU don’t know then I suggest you listen to your lil heart over the next few days/weeks and see what it says.

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If this was flipped and her husband got someone else pregnant y’all would be all over her butt to leave him. I feel bad for your husband. You put your entire family in such a sad, selfish situation. First thing you need to do is take responsibility for your actions. You’re already making it worse by being even sneakier and keeping it a secret. Do the right thing from this point and give HIM a chance to leave if that’s what HE thinks is best for HIM. IF he stays, make it worth it.

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