I am pregnant and trying to help my husband through his struggles: Advice?

I have a dilemma in my household right now. I am currently 32 weeks pregnant with our 3rd baby. During this pregnancy, my husband has been dealing with depression and anxiety. He gets professional help and has been prescribed medication to help his symptoms. The dilemma is that he has hit the point where he doesn’t have energy, wants to sleep in, zero motivation to do anything. I’m a SAHM to a 4yo and an almost 2yo, so there is lots to get done. I have a history of pre-eclampsia, and the swelling has really kicked in. I know I need to take it easy, but how do I do that when I have a husband I’m trying to help through his personal struggles and maintaining the household?

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He has to want to take care of himself, I know it’s hard to hear but it is the truth. You must take care of yourself. Or you put you & baby at risk. You must also think of that hun. Have a blessed & never stressed day :sparkles:

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His medication isn’t working. He has to make some effort to help himself. I know it’s hard. But he has to take care of himself first.

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Have is dr do a complete blood work up on him. He may have a vitamin deficiency. It can cause these problems.

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If he has no energy, wants to sleep a lot, and has no motivation, then his depression is not getting better or is getting worse. His therapist needs to be working with him weekly to build coping mechanisms and he may need either a higher dose or a different medication. I know it’s tough on you, but understand your husband is going through a hard time that he doesn’t have full control over. Chances are he feels very guilty for feeling the way he does and that adds to the depression. Sit down together and work out a plan to help each other get through this. You may have to ask for outside help such as family or friends to get some stuff done around the house or help with the other children.

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He needs to push past that and do what he can also if he wants to stay in bed all the time then his medication probably isn’t working and he should see his doctor to adjust it

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He needs to have a reevaluation done on his medicine and try to identify/manage the trigger(s) of his anxiety and depression. You cannot do it for him but be a support system for him while taking care of you and the littles. Prayers momma :heart:

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I agree with everyone in the comments that he needs his medication re evaluated, but finding the correct meds for depression can be a long and hard road. Is it possible for you guys in the meantime to hire some help? maybe a family member that could come over a couple nights a week just to help with the kiddos or clean up? Best of luck❤️

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I had an 8 yr old, 4yr old and a newborn. I had awful post baby blues, mild depression and severe anxiety. I still had to parent. The kids and house still had to be cared for. I know we all struggle but struggling is not an excuse to cop out and check out on your family. Tell him to get up and help you!!!

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Seek counseling urself as well. They can help u and help u help him. But also his medication could be off sometimes it makes u sleepy n foggy. He might not b on the right one it can take time to find right one. But end of day u r his support not fixer. So many variables to this situation stay strong but if u can’t I recommend ur own therapy

I went through this when I was pregnant with my first daughter. I don’t have a whole lot of advice, it’s super tough and every day is a struggle but you will get through it. Focus on taking care of your babies and yourself. It helps if you have someone to talk to.

I think with the above he should get a good physical, complete blood work up.
I had a B12 and D low . So low I had to have shots of B12.
Was also treated for depression.
Got vitamins up and no more depression. I have to keep a really close check on blood work .

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Does he take his meds in the morning or at night? I take mine at night because they make me sleepy. His dosage may also be off or he may not be reacting well. It’s definitely time to have a conversation of “I understand you’re depressed, but we’re a team…and right now I need help”…try not to accuse, just simply state that you’re struggling and offer small ways he can help to start.

Contrary to what some people are saying here, being mean about it is not going to help. Depression is a struggle I deal with EVERY day. Having someone come down on me does NOT help. In fact, it sends me deeper into depression and just generally feeling terrible. If my partner comes and says like, “hey I know you’re struggling but I could really use your help with X, Y, Z.” That helps me find the motivation to get up and do something.

If he’s been on this medication for at least 6 weeks and still isn’t getting better, he may need a different medication or dosage and should speak to his doctor about it. Also, YOU would benefit from attending a therapy session with him once in a while so that you can both come together in a safe space and figure out what kind of coping mechanisms will help you both to come through this together and so that YOU know how you can help him without inadvertently making things worse.

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If his professional help and meds aren’t working he needs to switch them. Get a family member to help you.

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You need outside help , hire someone or ask family to help with kids ect… I am not saying dont care for your husband but the baby is the star of the show right now and you being the person carrying the baby means your needs come first. Talk to your husbands family for help , helping him if that’s possible. If he were in his right mind he would want you to put your pregnancy ( his child ) first, it’s the most vulnerable family member and it’s your responsibility to protect it .

Just curious if he’s been checked for anemia… also until he gets figured out, maybe ask for outside help?

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He needs encouragement not help, he can litterally only help himself and you need to encourage him to…let him know that you are beginning to experience your symptoms now and that yours are dangerous for you and baby and that he needs to now help you instead of the other way round

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I have both an had to stop taking the meds prescribed because it was actually making it worse! Have him talk to his dr or therapist about how it is making him feel and see about getting it changed

tell him to be a man and help out. for the love of God its for the health and safety for you and your child.

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