Hi, mamas! I am having some trouble. Ever since I had my daughter, I haven’t been super sexual with my SO, and I haven’t started anything sexually with him since. It’s almost like I’m scared to. I need advice on how to start this up again because I can’t seem to get to that point anymore… I want to, but I can’t get myself to…, and I feel like it’s ruining my relationship…
Maybe something you guys used to like doing together before could help start the vibe going. Or like a niiiice foot massage for mama, or something similar to make YOU feel good.
Are you breastfeeding? Breastfeeding can kill your sexdrive and make you feel that way.
Thats how it was for me…for a whole year.
Maybe talk to your doctor about it.
Take it slow! Start with foreplay and work your way towards more. Just make sure you communicate with him.
I was always scared after I gave birth to have sex again, but I worked up the courage and just went slow and easy… all at my pace
It’s a natural feeling… mind over matter, make it happen.
Communicate with him about how ur feeling and u want to go slow and then put on a dress that makes u feel sexy go out to dinner and talk just be u guys again and then ease into it with what your comfortable with
Try foreplay or find your kinks. That’s what my husband and I done. Try teasing. My SO and I found a foreplay/s&m kit and use some of the items not all. It helps. And we experience new things about each other
I had to start it small like naked hugging and go from there. I was tired and just baby focused while also being self conscious about my body. Eventually things just went back to normal. Take your time, do little steps. Your partner may also help you out massively.
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Find something sexy to wear and watch a porn together
Um, I was on the pill after my daughter and the first time I had sex after her I ended up pregnant despite using protection… after my son is born I told my husband him n his dick are to stay farrrr away from me until we figure out why I’ve gotten pregnant on not only the pill but the nexplon too:rofl: (my daughter was conceived while I had the implant in my arm) so I understand ur fear on a personal level lmao
I felt the same way after having my son. Just take it slow and communicate y’all will find what works for y’all.
Just remember you’re very fertile too! Lol
Oh I felt this I felt so gross I didn’t want to be touched etc…I think it’s often a phase people go through. Talk to your partner and assure him it doesn’t have anything to do with him
I literally didn’t have sex until like 4 months pp I was SO scared my bf didn’t really care cuz TMI but I’d still give him head but honestly just communicate how you’re feeling, I’m sure your SO will understand and put zero pressure on you!
Honestly it’s taken me almost a year to feel any desire like that🤷🏼♀️
Take your time, it’s a process of learning to re love yourself, new body, and new mind.
I always say it takes a year to make a baby, and it’ll probably take that long to get back to normal.
First and foremost DON’T FEEL BAD, OR GUILTY, this is common, even normal. Before becoming sexual again make sure you hae effective birth control going, you are fertile now and can get pregnant again, which is probably what is causing the reluctance to be intimate. Talk openly and honestly with your guy, if you really are not ready offer to give him head when he is horny, or even a hand job so he does not have to suffer. Yes your body has changed, it may never be exactly like it was, then again some women end up with a much nicer body after having babies. Remember you are not alone, many of us mothers have been through this. Also with a newborn, up to about 18 years of age you do put a lot of time and energy doing mom stuff, I hope your partner is patient and understanding.
This is more mental. As women we imagine what someone thinks of us. Remind yourself that you are beautiful and sexy. Remind yourself of all the intimate encounters before. Flirt with you SO. Think of what you did before. Were you touchy feely? Did you wear things a little differently? Your SO is still the same person. This is all about you. If needed talk to your SO about how you feel.
Why do you think that is? Is it how you feel about your body now? No desire? What has you feeling scared?