I am sick of being seen as a free babysitter: Advice?

So I’ve been in a relationship for three years, and I hadn’t had my own house, etc. before we got together I’m only 21 but my SO I feel like always thinks that I could never do “life” on my own with a baby. And I feel like I want to move out and get my own place just to prove a point. On top of his friend and cousins living with us, I’m tired of cleaning and cooking for everyone. I don’t mind cooking and cleaning for just him. But I feel so used and ran over by him his cousin his friend, the mother of his first child I watch her for free because I love her and I love spending time with her. But her mother ONLY sees me as a free babysitter doesn’t let me know her work schedule doesn’t respect when I have a thing to do and can’t watch her, which when I tell her that she just drops her off anyways. I have said something to her about it, and my boyfriend and no one still seem to care. I’ve said something to my boyfriend, his friend and cousin about keeping it clean. They just agree and say yeah, but no one actually changes. That’s my point really is I express my issues. Everyone hears me acknowledges me but does nothing to change. Any advice should I just move out and prove to all of that I can financially manage a household alone and prove how serious I am about everyone not really respects my issues. I don’t want to break up with him or anything I love him. And I don’t want him to get the impression I want to leave the relationship. So any suggestions less evasive?

47 Likes

Stop doing for them. Tell her you are not a babysitter and you won’t be used anymore. Let them get pissed off, but you need to put your foot down.

3 Likes

Stop cooking,
Cleaning and babysitting. When shits dirty and there’s no food maybe theyll then pay attention :woman_shrugging:

5 Likes

Tell him y’all need your own place

2 Likes

Stop cleaning up after them for one and you’re with the child’s father so stop thinking as it’s babysitting.

Pack your shit and move out. They obviously dont respect you.

Move out he has 2 options move with you or move on

1 Like

Get job or another job to keep busy so you have no time to do all the extras then put money aside for YOU. So you are prepared for future if things change

3 Likes

Don’t walk…Run! You can totally do this on your own :heart:

4 Likes

Girl…you gotta stop this. You’re the only one with the power to do so…so do it. Get out of there.

4 Likes

Stop doing shit for people.

Somebody that loves you would require others to respect any boundaries you feel necessary - dump him and move out!!!

10 Likes

Stop doing for them. Including your SO. and no more free babysitting

1 Like

Leave… they are using you

4 Likes

Time to dip out and let them figure out stuff on their own and quit being the carpet that they walk all over

1 Like

Do you pay part of the rent and bills? And work? If you do I would just stop picking up after everyone and stop cooking for them and stop baby sitting the baby. If you are already pulling your weight and contributing they can’t say shit if you stop doing stuff for them. Sounds like they are taking advantage and don’t appreciate you and of they won’t listen when you tell them how you feel, maybe they will of you show them but stopping it. If you are the one cleaning and cooking and stuff YOU are the one managing the household already and they are the ones who are not. Living on your own is about more than just money, they should all be able to pick up after themselves and feed themselves and your bf needs to take care of his own child or provide childcare that isn’t freeloading of your kindness.

He’s using you. People only treat you the way you allow them to. I know it seems harsh, but it’s the truth. Im a people pleaser also and it’s in my nature to do so. But once I heard the words I just gave you, I changed the way I help people. I make sure to not get taken advantage of.

1 Like

You’re being used and not treated right. Leave, you deserve better. One day you’ll look back and realize what you’re living with right now is a complete joke

3 Likes

I would say no i am not watching the kid unless you gonna pay me i would up and leave basically there using you

Leave girl. Show em all.

1 Like