I am struggling to get pregnant: Advice?

Hello. Time is creeping with me as I’m 40 and worried that soon I would be approaching menopause. I’ve had checkups and not currently experiencing any symptoms. I have an eight yo old and an older child but always dreamed of having three children. My other half is not interested in having more children. He’s brilliant with my two kids but doesn’t want any. For the last three years, I have been off contraception but with no luck of pregnancy. I am fertile as I’ve had the checks. This brings me to think maybe because he likes to drink, he might be infertile. He doesn’t know I’m off contraception and doesn’t know I’m trying to get pregnant. I just don’t know what to do. We love each other so much. Do I just finally accept that he can’t have children because of old habits? Maybe I’m not doing something right at 40 to become pregnant. I know he wouldn’t leave if I do become pregnant, but it’s been three years trying, and I’m so worried that I’ll never have another child, especially one with him. Please don’t judge me for not telling him I’m off contraception.


I wouldn’t try to get pregnant by a man who clearly doesn’t want children that should be a joint decision


Uhm. You’re letting him think you’re on birth control when you are not. YOU are actively trying to get pregnant knowing he does not want more children. But you love him so much. I’m very much judging you. And to blame HIM for you not getting pregnant. Maybe he was smart and got snipped, lucky for him.


I was told I was fertile, but then found out I had PCOS. I’m young, but I went on metformin and it helped me get pregnant. It also helped my older sister who is diabetic and has thyroid issues get pregnant.

Most doctors don’t even think of using it as a fertility drug but I’ve heard of many successful stories.

But make sure you are both on the same page about having a child, because it’s stressful even on a good relationship where both parties want the child!


Your significant other has no interest in having kids so you figure you won’t tell him and have him be suprised?? I would be more interested to know if he had a vasectomy before you or in secret.


Maybe he got a vasectomy and didn’t tell you


You are being shady as hell wtf


Why would you want to have a baby with a man who has made it clear that he doesn’t want one? You say y’all love one another, but you would get pregnant against his wishes?


I’m sorry, did you just say you were trying to trap your man who clearly told you he didn’t want kids?? This is some
next level sh💩t that gives the rest of us a bad name. lol


I would like to have another bby as well but I have 3 kiddos from my ex , my boyfriend doesn’t want any right now becos he’s fine with my 3 they call him dad he’s a really amazing step dad but I would never do this to him behind his back it’s definitely a decision both of u have to make not just one person


Your 40 years old and trying to trick somebody with a pregnancy that they have no interest in - you would want to have a long hard look at yourself !


1st off. I would not do that to him. If he finds out you have secretly been off bc trying to get pregnant when he DOESN’T want a baby, that is just asking for a fight and possible break up. That is a huge violation of trust. 2nd. He doesnt want a kid. He may have gotten a vasectomy. I don’t think he will be happy if you did get pregnant. 3rd. To be straight, how do you know he wouldn’t leave? Has he expressed saying “i dont want kids but if you get pregnant i wont leave”? This is a horrible idea all around. I think you need to do one of two things. 1. Sit him down and tell him you want q baby qnd genuinely talk with him. Find out why he doesnt want one. Or 2. Tell him you have been trying and risk getting in a fight.
This is a horrible way to get pregnant. The stress of not telling him could easily be a factor. I am not trying to be mean but i think you really need to rethink this and talk to him.


Broooooooooo that’s toxic as heck. If I was him I would leave so fast. You are not respecting him and his choice.


This is so wrong I’m sorry but I hope you don’t if he doesn’t want a baby and your secretly trying to get pregnant that’s crazy like why would you even want to have another kid w this man if he don’t want to. Your forcing something he does not want!!!


You really need to talk to him. It’s not fair of you to not. He deserves to know how you feel, and having a child is something that you both should agree on. You can’t know for sure how he’ll react if you do get pregnant.


How about you not act like a child and force someone to do something they dont want to do. Way to mock your relationship! No wonder so many men dont trust women🙄


Okay what you are doing is wrong. He doesn’t want kids why try to trap him. Then when he doesn’t help and doesn’t contribute to the baby you’ll be ready to call him a deadbeat and drag him to court.


First off I honestly think that tricking a man about conception should be actually criminal. You are taking away his choice and so he will have to provide for the children?
If you do break up if you get pregnant the courts will make him pay which is wrong.
I honestly hope he went and got a vasectomy and thats why you can’t get pregnant because he knows your devious.

And for the actual question. You can harm your fertility by drugs and alcohol. Are there booster to help both of you yes… and I gonna tell you… no… I won’t be part of your f*ed decision to trick him


I’d file for divorce if someone tried to manipulate me into having a kid I didn’t want. HE DOES NOT WANT ANOTHER CHILD. He made it clear. You are not more important than what he wants.


I hope he finds out that you’re off contraceptions and trying to get pregnant. If he’s made it clear he doesn’t want any more kids and you’re doing this behind his back, that’s awful!