I am trying to leave my husband but he is refusing: Help?

I have been with my husband for 10years married 8. The first few years were wonderful, but for the last two years, things have changed. I have no respect for him. I am treated like a roommate. At one point, he even told me he should rape me(on three separate occasions) since January we have only had sex 24 times and nothing since June (this was when comments where made. He no longer calls me the cute names he did. I found out that he has a fetish. A friend of mine saw his posts on his social media and showed me. He exploded with anger, telling me I was backstabbing him. I asked for a separation. (We have three kids) I asked him to leave the cause of the children so they could have their home. He refused, so I left with the kids. He never once asked about the kids. But the moment I left, he would not stop texting me from. I’m sorry to come back to I miss you to everything is your fault. I have no self-esteem and no confidence anymore(I use to have it in abundance). Then his family started harassing me. For three weeks, he was blowing my phone up every 5 mins even when he was supposed to be at work. He has called me many names told me to f**** off then tells me he is sorry for blowing up. I have been going to counseling, and they tell me this is emotional abuse, and I need to get me and the kids out. I filed for divorce, and he got served Sunday. Well, Sunday he went flying off his rocker telling me I need to get my head out of my ass we.are.meant to be together, and he won’t live without us. He threatened to hurt me then kill himself. The police were called, and he has put .on a suicide watch. When he was released he had a peace bond against him(police put it there) he started texting me that he wants me back and he is sorry. His family, during this time, has called me horrible names. I don’t know what to do anymore. The paperwork is filed, but at the same time, I feel guilty. Our children are scared of him. My oldest tells mommy why is a daddy so mean. The schools have noticed the kids have been behaving better since he hasn’t been in there living for about a month now. When I was in the hospital two years ago having our youngest. My SO thru our middle daughter hard enough on the couch the nurses called cps on us. I have also been accused of cheating on him and his family. I have always remained faithful to him.

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Can you get a protection order?

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Stay away!! As hard as he tries to get you back. Stay away!! This type of behavior isn’t healthy.

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You need to stay far far away from this piece of trash!
Block his number. Have an order of protection placed and file harassment paperwork with the police. I’m so sorry for you

Don’t feel guilty for doing what’s best for you and your kids. Your kids rely on you to protect them even if it’s from their father

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Be there for the kids and be strong! Find support groups, don’t feel bad! He has his own demons he needs to take care of and heal! Get into counselling, find something you love to do that you couldn’t do before or pick up a hobby. Join mom groups or community groups! It’s better for kids to live away from that and not be in a broken home.

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Um…I literally stopped at he told you he should rape you. Because I don’t need anymore reason to tell you to run the fuck away, and get an OFP. That is not a joke.
Idk how a person refuses to be left. You just get your shit and children (if applicable) and GO!

He doesnt have a choice. File for a contested divorce. It takes longer but even if he refuses to sign one paper…the judge will only give it so long before he will grant the divorce without your husband even attending court.

You have the right to block and file for a restraining order if you feel its neccessary.

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He’s not healthy which means it won’t be healthy for you!

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You’re doing the right thing! I’d block his family from everything. Change your number etc. He’s harrassing you so you need to keep everything you can for evidence. Keep everything that his family sends too and use it for evidence.

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Stay gone get the divorce file for a protection order and request if anything supervised visitation don’t go back he’s sounding like it will escalate to much worse if you do go back be the strong woman the kids need you to be for them you got this

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Your children are afraid of him, they are improving away from him… that is all the reason right there to not feel guilty. You’re helping your children and yourself out of a bad situation. Going back would cause them to live in fear and suffer in other ways. Just keep doing what you’re doing, improving yours and your babies lives and going to therapy. If his family is contacting you to harass tell them not to contact you further and don’t respond. After that you can get harassing communications on them if they keep it up. If it’s not being said directly to you, or in text etc. Ignore them. Let his family think what they want. Let them live with him even. You know the truth and what you’re doing is what is best. He needs to be in therapy himself by all sounds of it.

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Sounds like you already did the right thing by leaving. Someone threatening to hurt you and commit suicide after needs some major help and why would you take him back and take that chance? He threw your daughter… I would have been done with him after that!

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Look, he has the right to not like you asking for a divorce or even filing. Those are his emotions just like you have yours. You are both going to have to either work through this and get back together or learn to coparent so you need a family therapist starting with you two to work through this situation in a safe space.

Now you have told us your version but we know he will have another version to tell. Somewhere in the middle is the truth. Doesn’t sound like you have been the best wife either and you need to own your part in this as well. It’s NEVER 1 person that makes issues like this in a relationship.

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Tell his family to let him live with them because he is so right according to them.good luck.dont go back to that narcissist

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You’re doing the right thing by staying away and divorcing him. Sounds like this situation could have gotten out of hand later on down the road so it’s great that you’re doing something about it now. Don’t feel guilty. After everything he has put you through it sounds like he deserves it and had it coming. This is what’s best for you and your children. They don’t need to see or hear their mom being abused. You need to keep you and your children safe. Cut his family off too. Let it all play out in court. His records are showing him to be an unstable spouse and parent.

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First put them in different schools NOW so he can’t get them out of school and bounce one day. Especially if he’s threatening murder suicide crap. Change your number and if need be go to an abuse shelter. Make it so he can’t find you. You are doing the right thing. Do NOT feel guilty. He is a crazy man and your kids need to be kept safe as well as yourself. Also make sure there’s a protective order on you and them kids so he can’t bother you, call you, text you, etc. Each time he does have him arrested. Get trained to shoot. IDC how awful that sounds. An abusive man threatening to kill you then himself is all the reason you need. Get trained to shoot, get a permit, and buy a gun.

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Change your number, lock down your social media accounts. Every time he tries to contact you call the cops. Research what you need in your city/state to get a concealed carry license. Never answer your door without being armed.

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Congratulations momma. I am so proud of you. Kudos to you for leaving. I am in the same boat but I can’t leave yet as I don’t have friends or family and nowhere to go with four babies. The children and women’s shelter I am afraid of, Idk why?

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I commend you for being brave and getting out now. That takes a lot so you should be proud of yourself! My advice is to immediately block him and his family from social media and your phone. Also get a protection order if you dont already have one and go to the police about him AND his family because that is harassment. Then let the courts handle it. Move if you are able to. You dont owe him or his family anything.

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